Trogdor7620

Male
from Scoresby, Australia

    • Trogdor7620

      A Personal Letter to Monty Oum

      5 months ago

      To Monty,

      I don't know if you'd remember me. I doubt it, but in case you do, I was one of the folks in the audience at Animating RT, held a year ago by Hanabee at ACMI, Federation Square, Melbourne. You and Jordan were passing through for Supernova, and I was lucky enough to be in the front row as you showed us Yang's new boob physics, as well as her running like a Beowolf.

      In retrospect, that night is the best of my life, and I doubt that will change for a very long time. That night, you did more than show a bunch of animators your skills and methods.

      You convinced me to turn my life around.

      For a long time, I was dependent on succeeding as an actor. A pipe dream, really. And for a while, I was heavily convinced that I would live and die without making an impact on the world. Every day, that was my greatest fear: being overlooked, ignored, and forgotten. But you helped me discover more to my life.

      Now I've fallen in love with animation. I upgraded my computer, installed Maya, and began to plan a plethora of original characters, along with stories to go with them. Every day a new episode of RWBY was released, I took the time to admire your creations, and use them to further my own abilities and adapt the stories of my original characters and my personal work, RWBY: Reckoning. I don't know if you ever saw it, but if you did, I hope you liked it.

      You helped me become more than a kid with no direction. You made me into the man I am today.

      And for that, I am truly grateful.

      Yours in brotherhood,

      Trogdor7620

    • Trogdor7620

      Retrospective of The Past Few Years...

      7 months ago

      First of all, I want to say Merry Xmas to each and every Rooster Teeth member who reads this. Now, I need to say something in light of the times leading up to now.

      The years have not been kind to me. From 2011, I've had my old, idyllic life shattered to pieces, leading me to live a broken half-life from then on. Not really living, not really dying.

      No, I haven't been diagnosed with cancer. Or HIV. Or anything like that. I'm perfectly healthy. But what has happened in the past crushed my spirit.

      2011 was my 11th year at school, in Year 11, funnily enough. But the workload was far too much for me to bear, and I was always lagging behind, spending numerous sleepless nights trying to finish a week's worth of work from at least five subjects. Then when midyear exams came along, my performance was at an all time low. My results were beyond abysmal: my highest mark was 48%, my lowest, 28%. To pass my exams, and qualify for a university, I needed at least 60%. So I failed miserably. Once I knew my results, I spent weeks crying in my pillow, feeling absolutely pathetic at my failure. Not long after, I dropped out of school, after burning my result papers.

      2012 was no better. Because I'd dropped out, I was forced into a TAFE (Technical And Further Education) program, where I had to learn the basics to real life. Public transport, technology, goal-setting, the works. But I knew how to do all this already. And I was surrounded by people who didn't. People who all had a disability in one form or another. All I had was Asperger's Syndrome and anxiety disorder. But that wasn't the worst part.

      There were two girls in my class. One was desperate for friendship, which we didn't give because whenever she didn't get her way, she would throw a tantrum. I'm not kidding, she asked for liquid paper, even though no one had any. Even when we explained this, she began screaming and crying, storming out of the class. The other girl had a crush on me. But her religion prevented any kind of romance between us. She was a Jehovah's Witness, and I was agnostic. Plus, I'd had crushes on several girls at school, and not a single one ended well. One was off the market, another didn't see me the same way, and two more played me like a fiddle. So I was wary about this topic. But if you're thinking that love prevailed, wake up. It didn't. She stopped coming to class, and I eventually forgot about her.

      2013 was worse. I was forced to move to a TAFE campus even further away from home. And this one was worse: a murder was planned, and even carried out several years ago. And I had to share numerous classes with a sociopath, and numerous troublemakers. I hated each and every one of them, because I was there to learn, not to socialise. But everyone still saw the need to be outspoken, rude, dismissive, and uncaring about why they were there. It got so bad, I had to defer after the aforementioned sociopath threatened to smash my glasses and shove the shards into my eyes. But even when I came back the next year, 2014, he was still there. And he had company. Two more troublemakers who constantly brought handheld devices, headphones, and loud music into class, and talked aloud. I didn't even attend the graduation, out of concern that I would finally snap and stab them all to death with a steak knife.

      Now that I've graduated from there, it's at the end of the year, and I know I'm meant to be looking forward, but honestly, I just feel as though I've been going in reverse my whole life. Moving in circles, like some sort of demented person just puts my life on rewind on a part they find amusing.

      I just want to move forward! Go to university! Get a degree! Make something that people will appreciate and recognize me for! Do SOMETHING! SOMETHING THAT I CAN BE FUCKING PROUD OF!!

      But it's not happening. Nothing ever changes for me. And why should it? Clearly, some cosmic force loves fucking with me like I'm just some sort of toy to them.

      And I've had it.

    • Trogdor7620

      7 months ago

      I'll admit, watching a series about murders and deaths just doesn't appeal to me all that much. That is one of the many reasons I have not, am not, and will not, watched Final Destination. But in all honesty, it was an enjoyable series.

      But now that it's over... I feel a little bit uneasy.

      Sure, it's easy to tell yourself that "it's just a show, it didn't really happen", but I've had problems distinguishing fantasy from reality in the past. I guess it just comes with having Asperger's Syndrome.

      But even with that, I just don't know how I feel about the series.

      I mean, yeah, it was good. But even with everything going on, trying to figure it all out made my head hurt. And the different ways everybody died... dear fucking God, I threw up in my mouth at some of the deaths. Namely, The Gavins, Lindsay, and Barbara.

      And with it being less than a day out from Christmas, I know for certainty, I'm not meant to feel like this. But I just saw one of my favorite people get blown to pieces.

      I'm not saying anything bad about the series. It's a good setup, but... I don't know. Seeing the Roosters die in such a gruesome fashion is unsettling to me.

  • About Me

    Okay, sheesh, where to begin?

    Well, to start, I have Asperger's Syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorder, and an unspecified anxiety disorder. So, basically, a triple barreled shotgun in my brain.

    I'm an "animator", of sorts. Meaning I just muck around in Maya with polygons to build things from some bizarre nth dimension.

    My greatest fear is being forgotten. Of seeing my friends succeed, while I fail at absolutely everything. I don't want to be some no-name on the streets. I want to do something that makes me known to people. Where people see my work, and recognize it.

    So, basically, I'm a basket-case.

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