from 10 feet behind you!

    • UAF_Omega

      It's been an interesting 8 months...

      7 years ago

      Well, its been quite a while hasn't it? I must say that my time away from RvB has been interesting. Well, some of it has, most of it has been the same o'l shit. I tell ya though, the longer I stay in the county I grew up in, the more I hate it. But anyway, thats a story for another time.

      How have I been since my departure? Progressively getting worse... I'll just leave it at that for now. I will post a few journals on a few events during my leave of absence. Hopefully.

      So, how are you doing?

    • UAF_Omega

      Yeah, its been a while...

      8 years ago

      Basically, been to depressed to do anything. Been sitting at home doing nothing.
      Well, not nothing, I have been getting fatter, that seems to be a constant. That and being depressed. Viscous cycle.
      School sucks, driving sucks, head wounds sucks, headaches suck, bitches bitching sucks, part time jobs suck, dial up sucks, and life sucks. And I get to be suplexed by all of them, life is so grand.
      But don't worry, I'm not suicidal. I, unfortunately, think about the consequences. And besides, I'd like to have kids one day.

      Oh well, enough ranting. How is everyone?

    • UAF_Omega

      56K modem problems

      in Forums > 56K modem problems | Follow this topic

      Ok, so my modem dies. Its about 7 years old so i was expecting sometime. Since I could't buy a modem just yet, I borrow a friends Smart Link 56K modem. I install it and all but I couldn't get to run stable at all. It would constantly drop all bandwidth. Sometimes over a minute would tick by before it came back and it did this constantly.

      I finally get the money to buy a new modem, the U.S Robotics 56K Fax Modem. I install it, put the CD drivers in and it dials up fine. At first, it seemed completely fine. Worked like a charm for a 15 minutes or so. Then the bandwidth drops and it doesn't come back. I reconnect and get no Bandwidth from the start. After several reconnects with mixed results, I finally get the newer drivers installed.

      Now, the connection stability gets noticeably more stable. I am able to surf well enough for dial up. The connection only went through at 28.8kbs so I reconnect to try and get a higher connection but to no avail. Even though its more stable, its noticeably slower than connecting at my usual speed of 48kbs. Which was the speed of the connection with the cd drivers.

      I have tried messing with the setting in Phone and Modems in the control panel without much effect.

      I am running a MSI P6N Plat. with an E6600 Core Duo.

      What do you think could be the problem?

      8 replies

    • UAF_Omega

      Wow, just wow.

      8 years ago

      As some of you might have noticed, I havn't been on in a great while. That in due because of school, it sucks....there is no comparison for how bad it sucks this quarter. Its sucks like driving a hot poker into your own spine making yourself cripple just to stop the intense pain in your legs.... then having to be Courtney Loves' bitch for a day.

      Oh well, I should be back on in a few weeks if I survive it.

      In the mean time, how is everyone doing?

    • UAF_Omega


      8 years ago

      There was a businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else.

      So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation, to the old man.

      "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except …" said the old man, and then he stopped.

      "Except what?" asked the businessman.

      "Nothing, nothing," said the old man.

      "C'mon, tell me! I need something!" protested the businessman.

      "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo dick,'" the old man said.

      "So what's up with this voodoo dick?" the businessman asked.

      The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said, "Big fucking deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"

      The old man said, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."

      He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door."

      The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said, "Voodoo dick, get back in your box!"

      The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there, quiescent once more.

      The businessman said, "I'll take it!"

      The old man resisted and said it wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say, "Voodoo dick, my pussy."

      He left for his trip satisfied things would be fine while he was gone.

      After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dick. She got it out, and said "Voodoo dick, my pussy!" The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.

      After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off. So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn't been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was stuck in her pussy, and wouldn't stop screwing.

      The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yea, right. Voodoo dick, my ass!"

    • UAF_Omega

      Do not read this.....

      8 years ago

      Pain Divider

      A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth. The doctor told them that he'd developed a new machine and asked if they'd like to try it. The machine would take some of the woman's pain away and give it to the father thereby easing the mothers burden.

      The couple thought it was a good idea and agreed to give it a try. The Doc set it on 10% to begin with, telling the man that 10% was still probably more pain than he had ever felt. The man was surprised at how little pain he was feeling and asked for it to be increased. The doctor turned it up to 20% with the same results. This trend continued until the machine was set at 100%.

      After the delivery both mother and father felt fine. The wife was relieved at having an almost painless labor and the father was still amazed at how little pain was actually involved. Later, when they took the baby home, they found the mailman dead on their doorstep.
      Dog Cleaning Himself

      Two winos are staggering down an alleyway, late at night, very drunk on cheap wine. Happy, arm in arm and singing, they suddenly stop dead in their tracks. Directly ahead of them is a fleabitten, old mongrel, male dog - cleaning himself. One wino staring with bloodshot, unfocused eyes and on unsteady legs at the dog, then his crotch and then back at the dog.

      He says, "Wow..would I ever like to be able to do THAT!"

      His friend looks at him, then the dog and then takes his drunken friend aside,

      "You'd better pet him first....he looks vicious"
      Mickey Mouse Wants A Divorce

      Judge: Look here Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce from Minnie.

      Mickey (stunned): Why not?

      Judge: I have reviewed all the information you gave the court, but i can't find any evidence at all to support the grounds that she is crazy.

      Mickey (exasperated): Your honor! I didn't say she was crazy...
      I said she was fucking Goofy!

    • UAF_Omega

      PC gaming vs Console Gaming

      8 years ago

      No, this isn't a journal about the pros and cons in PC and Console gaming but a journal on what everyone else thinks.

      I played console games for about 8-10 years and decided to get a computer. After playing the computer for a little over 2 years now, I have to say PC gaming is better vs console gaming. I found that anything I could do on the console, I can do better and faster on PC. I can aim much much more accurately with a mouse than using a thumb stick, I can do multiple tasks without having to stop aiming or moving. I can see stuff further and clearer on a monitor than on a tv, plus I can mod content and put my own in.

      Those are just a few reasons I like PC better than Consoles, and I know you can use a keyboard, mouse, and monitor on some consoles but it can be frustrating.

      But anyway, whats your opinions?

    • UAF_Omega

      Happy Valentines Day

      8 years ago

      Happy Valentines Day!


      I like cheese.

    • UAF_Omega

      First Award!

      8 years ago

      Yeah, I finally got my first award!

      Thank you Kathleen!

    • UAF_Omega

      Happy Thanksgiving!

      8 years ago

      Happy Thanksgiving!

      Im posting it early on the account that I won't be able to move for at least 3 days so If you don't hear from me for awhile, not that it would be a bad thing ;-), don't worry.

      Something funny for you.

  • About Me


    Open AllClose All

  • Comments (788)

    • MofuggerX


      7 years ago

      z0mg ur onlien

    • MofuggerX


      7 years ago

      Not too bad, yourself?

      Good to see you on here again.

    • Neoma


      7 years ago

      Summarizing you.

    • lilshorty64


      7 years ago

      Are you dead? o.O

    • MofuggerX


      8 years ago

      Two months offline? Damn.

      Whenever you pop on, drop me a line. Seriously.

      I need you man... smiley2.gif

    • jordash11


      8 years ago

      no that just means hes straight

    • yuken


      8 years ago

      anything to do with girls you must a big pervert

    • jonshonsgurl


      8 years ago

      hey i like your pics

    • MofuggerX


      8 years ago


      Sorry... that was fun.

    • MofuggerX


      8 years ago