7 years ago
if you are a frequent viewer of my posts, which none of you are i can tell (my feelings are hurt), then you know the extent of my medical history. and as the title says well folks i did it again. i go to school in sam houston state university and on campus is this everest sized hill and i ride my bike to class. well on my way home i discovered while coming down the hill that my bike's brakes do not work anymore. in a panic i take a hard left on a street but apparantly not hard enough because i hit the back end of a parked car with my bike. my bike immediatly stopped, however due to that douchebag newton whos second rule of physics is the transfer of motion to an object. well since the car i hit was in park and could not move guess where the motion transferred... thats right me! my bike came to a complete stop however i did not. no i kept on flying and i did a faceplant on the rear passenger side door of a car that was parked next to the first car. i broke the door handle in half IN HALF with my head (not to mention left a nasty ding on the door too). now for a smart person with somthing worthwhile in his head this would have hurt but for good ol thick skull me i walked away unscathed. but my nature is to laugh and joke about somthing bad and this was no exception. the first thing i said when they scooped me off the pavement was, "did anyone videotape that i wanna be on youtube" the moral of the story?
if at first you dont succeed... you fail
7 years ago
for some reason i dont even own portal but i cant get the freakin song out of my head it is driving me crazy and i love it.
this was a triumph
im making a note here
its hard to overstate my satisfaction
we do what we must because we can
for the good of all of us
except the ones who are dead
but theres no sense crying over every mistake
you just keep on trying till you run out of cake
and the science gets done
and you make a neat gun
for the people who are still alive
im not even angry
im being so sincere right now
even though you broke my heart and killed me
im torn into pieces
and threw every piece into a fire
as they burned it hurt because
i was so happy for you
now these points of data make a beautiful line
and were out of beta were releasing on time
so im glad i got burned think of all the things we learned
for the people who are still alive
go head and leave me
i think id prefer to stay inside
maybe youll find someone else to help you
maybe black mesa
that was a joke ha ha fat chance
anyway this cake is great
its so delicious and moist
look at me still talking when theres science to do
when i look up there it makes me glad im not you
ive experiments to run
there is research to be done
on the people who are still alive
and believe me i am still alive
im doing science and im still alive
i feel fantastic and im still alive
while youre dying ill be still alive
and while youre dead ill be still alive
it makes me weep with joy because that is the dream of every mad scientist who in this case was a computer killing test subjects in the name of science...and cake
7 years ago
sorry about the poor quality i just did it on paint...
7 years ago
first a little forward uh this was an english assignment we were supposed to re write a famous speech (i chose i have a dream) i turned it into a proclomation for zombie rights. the professor read it out loud in class and i got a 100.
28 January 2008
I Have a Crazy Dream
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Two score and 4 years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, gave his speech entitled Ã¢â‚¬Å“I Have a DreamÃ¢â‚¬Â. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negros who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their persecution.
But one forty four years later, a new kind of injustice has surfaced. Forty four years later, the life of the Zombie is sadly crippled by the manacles and chains. Forty four years later, the zombie lives on a lonely island in the midst of a vast ocean of brains that have not yet been devoured. Forty four years later, the Zombie hungers in the alleys of AmericaÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s cities and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American, dead Americans too were to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, undead men as well as white men and black men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of near life, moaning, and the pursuit of brains.
I say to you today, my friends, so even though they face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men (zombies included) are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the blood red hills of Georgia the sons of Zombies, if they can indeed procreate and the sons of former Zombie hunters will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood and eat each other.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of rotting flesh, sweltering with the heat of burning corpses, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day not live in a nation where they will not be judged by the bites on their arms but not live at all and still walk around.
I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious blood thirsty citizens with its governor having his lips dripping with the blood of the living and zombification; one day right there in Alabama, little Zombie boys and Zombie girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers until the hands are inevitably bitten off.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every moaning guy, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men, white men, Jews, Gentiles, Protestants, Catholics, will be able to die and come back to life then inexplicably sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
7 years ago
Caboose: look sarge has tex. im going to shoot him, and kill him and free tex then church will forgive me for killing him and we will be friends
Tucker: you really think thats going to work
Caboose: oh wer gunna be best freinds
Church: ok on the count of 3 were gunna run and escape
Church: oh youve got to be KIDDING me
7 years ago
mom, dad, when i grow up i want to be a comedian... oh so now im a dissapointment am i? im bringing shame to my entire family? no dad put down the gun... no but seriously i think when i graduate i am going to try to be a comedian i think i got what it takes, im funny, i can immitate a few celebrities, ok so thats it but who cares. now if i can only get over my crippiling stage fright. look out world chris cleere is hitting the mic.... when he should be talking into it
7 years ago
WEIGHT: about 230
LIKES: games, lazer tag, shooting, bowling, spending time with my gf
DISLIKES: faggots, hillary clinton, mexican food, your face
BIGGEST HOBBY: shooting guns any gun give me a gun NOW
PET PEEVE: gum chewing / smacking, politicians
TV SHOW: The Simpsons
FOOD: tomato soup with cheese
DRINK: diet coke (this was an alternative to breast feeding when i was a baby)
FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT: fights to the death (it pleases me)
TIME OF YEAR: winter
PERSON: my girlfriend whom i love
MUSIC GENRE: rock and metal
MUSIC ARTIST/GROUP: Dethklok, The Eagles, Mindless Self Indulgence
BOOK GENRE: Stephen Colbert
BOOK: I Am America And So Can You
VIDEOGAME GENRE: fighting
VIDEOGAME: Super Smash Bros. Brawl
MOST COMMON TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP: im a doormat and i love it
IN A RELATIONSHIP: yup
CRUSHES: i only love my girlfriend (she told me to write that)
HOW OLD AT FIRST: fourth grade
EVER BEEN KISSED: duh
WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME: i think it was sophomore year
BELIEVE IN LOVE: yeah
BELIEVE THAT THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE: statistically no there are more women than men so there would have to be a few lesbians or at least bi-sexuals then again there are alot of gay guys so there would have to be ALOT of lesbians but i digress
SENSE OF SPIRITUALITY: could you repeat the question i dont understand
BELIEF IN FORTUNE TELLING: fuck no
BELIEF IN GHOSTS: i have a theory but that is a blog for another time
BELIEF IN DEMONS: part of my theory in ghosts
BELIEF IN GUARDIAN ANGELS: also part of my theory in ghosts
SELF DESCRIPTION: sexy, stunning, charming, funny, God's gift to women, and definitely not self absorbed or conceded
SOMETHING I DON'T LIKE ABOUT ME: nothing im perfetc
SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT ME: i an kill pigeons with my mind
7 years ago
people i implore you do not be fooled by this con-artist version of narnia. the creator of the books and movie is a well known and well hated athiest in england. dont believe me? look it up. he wishes to drag down the world's youth to the deepest pits of hell! in his stories and movies he plans for the little girl and little boy to represent adam and eve and he plans for them to kill God. athiesm for children is what this is he even called it that himself. dont see this movie unless you hate jesus. do you hate jesus? if you do you are a comunist, nazi, kkk member, AND a homosexual.
POLAR BEARS SUCK GLOBAL WARMING RULES
8 years ago
has anyone ever taken a close look at any old show that kids watched and said heeeeey? for example: scooby doo if your a child youll just think shaggy is just some guy who likes to eat alot but come on we all know the truth, shaggy is a stoner. he always wears the same clothes, always spends gas money on food, eats dog snacks, sees talking dogs, is very tweaked all the time, and always comes out of a hippie van with smoke following him. its not just scooby "doobie" doo either what about the power rangers? how come they always have to have one token black ranger and when the series went to turbo and the zoids changed the black ranger got the gorrila zoid wtf guys wtf. and probably the most racist show out there was captain planet. how are you going to have 2 white people but no native americans? who cares more for the planet some teenager with the power to commit arson or someone who crys when he sees litter. and they handed out powers unfairly too the white guy gets the awesome flamethrower power, the black african guy gets the power to cause earthquakes, the white swedish girl gets the power of tornados and hurricanes and shit, chinese girl gets the power of tsunamis to save dolphins and shit, i mean all those powers kick ass and what do they give the little brown kid? heart. what the fuck is heart? ooh ooh look at me i have the power to melt your fuckin face with fire what do you have ma ti? heart? wha- what does that do? it makes already tame animals love you? oh my god that is so gay i am so glad im white and diddnt get that power sucks to be brown i guess. there is also the more obvious teletubbies the national gay color is purple and the national gay symbol is an upside down triangle... tinkey winkey is gayer than lance bass, elton john, and clay aiken combined. also spongebob is gay too always hangin around a naked starfish and thinking about jellyfish(butterfly) catching while looking at rainbows and talking to his snail(cat).
please tell me im not the only one who is noticing this.
8 years ago
1. Post these rules:
2. Each person tagged must post 10 random facts about themselves
3. Tags should write a journal of these facts
4. At the end of the post 6 more persons are tagged and named
5. Go to their profile and leave a comment telling them they're tagged
1 i am the biggest person in my graduating class though i have a heart of gold
2 i am a world of warcraft addict
3 i can eat 35 slices of large pizza in 20 minutes
4 i once killed a bunny rabbit by throwing a machete
5 my biggest fear is a zombie apocolypse ITS GOING TO HAPPEN READ THE BIBLE
6 i dont care what anyone else thinks i think nirvana sucks
7 i know the entire biography of simpsons creator matt groening
8 i have deadly accuracy with any gun except shotguns
9 i made a scientific discovery involving geese and ketchup packets... turns out if they get ketchup on their back they act like theyre drunk...
10 i have narcolepsy and the pills im on make me feel high its freakin awesome. also i hear voices and am extremely paranoid all the time.
im takin jeff's approach youve been tagged and have to do this