4 years agodyskordian
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
6 years agodyskordian
Just a few more hours!
6 years agodyskordian
Tonight on my way home from work I drive past a municipal public works building and out of the parking lot a county sheriff turns on his headlights and pulls in behind me. I make for sure I'm going below the posted speed limit by driving 5 under the posted limit and he stays behind me doing just a bit slower.
At the end of the street there is a four-way stop and on our side are two lanes the one I use is a right turn only. I pull into the turn lane, signal my turn, and wait for another car at the stop to go and while waiting the cop pulls into the straight/left lane. After I get a little ways down the street the cop then, without signaling, turns right to follow me again. All the while I am still driving 5 under the posted limit.
The road that we are now on isn't a main road and isn't very well light. There is a slight hill and after I crest it and where can no longer see him, he turns all the lights on his car off and continues to follow me. Jackson County Sheriff cars are black with dark-ish yellow wording. The only way that I could see him was the silhouette when he crested the hill.
I continue to drive to the end of this street and signal my left turn, turn and proceed on my way. In my rear view mirror I see the cop come to a stop at that stop sign and sit there until I'm a good distance away then he turns his headlights back on and continue on his way.
He didn't follow me past that point and what I just described happened over maybe 3 miles. I honestly wish I would have gotten his car number to report his ass for this. I know that if he had pulled me over it would have been my word versus his on how he was behaving and no one would have believed me.
6 years agodyskordian
So I'm a computer gamer and a member of th No Heroes gaming community. They have just started "The Summer of Fun" and this is day 2.
The thing that was added today is a dedicated server for Goldeneye Source Beta 4.
So if you own a Source Engine (Orange Box, L4D, L4D2, Counter Strike: Source) game you can get and play this for free.
I'm am really looking forward to this since I have more than a few fond memories of playing Goldeneye with my friends back on the Nintendo 64.
6 years agodyskordian
I am now the embarrassed and ashamed owner of my very fist cell phone. I don't really want one, but the modern dating scene seems to require one.
Its a droid and I have some minor usage issues with it, that I am certain that I will sort out in the next couple of days... whee I now have a leash.
Hmm... Of course, these are MY opinions - likely to be as flawed as anyone elses. Um, really, I guess you should assume that eveyones speaking out of some external influence, believe in whatever makes sense to you. - Nny JTHM #3
Some music while you browse? (updated link 1\4\10)
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