grail

Male
from Canada

  • Activity

    • Cock Bites

      1 year ago

      grail

      https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-H0KuOwKFYwZTJxb...


      Fuck Rooster Teeth! They screwed over Luke. They messed with Jon. They are in my opinion at least particularly responsible for me losing another friend that I wont mention because of today... Now I read this about another person they pulled from the Community. RT is a fucking grinder, people go in and shredded meat comes out, ground up and used until the people are no longer needed, then kicked to the curb, all the while maintaining this innocent we are a community base group and love our people. To you Rooster Teeth, "You can kiss the blackest part of my ass!" take a guess at what I am talking about.

    • todays

      2 years ago

      grail

      Drafting Guys Over 60. This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!









      I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.



      Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.




      For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.




      Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..




      An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.




      If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.




      Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.




      They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.




      Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.




      An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.




      These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.




      Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.




      HEY... How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!

      You think MEN have attitudes??
      Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

      If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!




      Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.

    • 10 years

      2 years ago

      grail

      huh, looks like I have been here 10 years...

    • todays

      3 years ago

      grail

      Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

      The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

      "And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

      Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

      There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......

      Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."

    • New Game

      3 years ago

      grail

      Ok, I walk into the living room and hear my son talking about Goat Simulator. I look at him strangely I guess, and he proceeds to tell me its 10 bucks on Steam. Again I must have made a face because he says that is a good deal. I tell him that the money is not what has my attention, its the fact that there is a game called Goat Simulator that has my interest. After a moment of my son explaining the game, I have come up with a billion dollar idea for people that like stuff like goat simulators. I am going to call mine Cat Simulator, its going to be about the daily life of my cat, Bender. So basically here is the whole rundown of the Cat Simulator. You start off in the morning having a brisk nap in the sunbeam. Around 11:00/11:30 am (cats dont care about time), you get up and have a drink of water and maybe a few bites out of the cat food dish. Then it is time for a good 4 hour power nap on the bed, where you are not normally allowed, but hey, no one is home, its all good. Around 4:00 pm, the you get up, because the food fixer and litter box cleaner will be home soon, and run downstairs, the most exercise of the day and gravity is doing most of the work, yay! You then wolf down all the remaining cat food and water, to the point of almost bursting, then head to the litter box to defile it and basically mustard gas the whole house. You finish just in time to turn on "Cute Kitty Mode" as food fixer/litter box cleaner arrives at home. At this point the game gets interesting. You do everything in your power to be cute and get "Special Kitty" food. Once you have obtained the "Special Kitty" food, you turn off "Cute Kitty Mode" and go into the "Touch Me and Die Mode", this lasts for a few hours until the house has calmed down for the evening and all the staff (humans) are relaxing. This is then the time you cause havoc. You can climb the curtains, randomly attempt to assassinate one of the staff (humans) as they are moving up and down the stairs, or my personal favorite, you make sure your nose is ice bloody cold and you sneak up on the unsuspecting food fixer/litter box cleaner, that by the way is wearing shorts and touch him with said ice bloody cold nose, causing him to scream like death has just reached out and touched him. The best part of this is the fact that you get to walk away with a smug look on your face basically saying "oops did I do that". The game comes to a close at the staffs (humans) bedtime, as they have all discovered that you are a massive bed hog, and make sure that their doors are shut tight to stop you from invading at a random moment to scare the living hell out of them. The rest of the night is spent meowing in you best loudest voice and scratching on doors until one of the staff (humans) has enough and lets you in to take over the bed with the staff member sleeping on the couch downstairs. That last part is for bonus points in my new epic game Cat Simulator. So what do you think, am I going to make that billion I want...

  • Comments (2296)

    • Peagis01

      2 years ago

      wassup?

    • MissZahrah FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      3 years ago

      (((hug)))

    • lillie450

      3 years ago

      hey handsome, how have you been

    • MissZahrah FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 years ago

      Wish I could be there to give you one in person, but just wanted to pass on a ((hug)) in spirit and let you know you're in my thoughts.

    • Dopp ROLL TIDE

      4 years ago

      Dude, how's life and kids and junk?

    • OboeCrazy FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Freelancer

      4 years ago

      You and your jokes are awesome!

    • Dopp ROLL TIDE

      5 years ago

      HEY!

      Come to RTX.

      That is all.

    • ABYSS_GK

      5 years ago

      Yub Yub

    • ABYSS_GK

      5 years ago

      Thought of you

      Has audio, watch at home

      Post edited 3/01/12 6:42AM

    • ABYSS_GK

      5 years ago

      Here is the L4D comic we were talking about.

    • ABYSS_GK

      5 years ago

      Don't know if you've ever seen this, but it made me laugh.

    • ABYSS_GK

      5 years ago

      HAPPY BIRFDAY!!! 8D

      (Did I bozon your computer?)

    • Ratmaster

      5 years ago

      And since you modded it~

      *HUG*
      _hug__by_bad_blood.gif

    • ABYSS_GK

      5 years ago

      Bwew

    • ABYSS_GK

      5 years ago

      Not sure if you've seen this, but thought I would share at least....

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      5 years ago

      Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! smiley12.gif

    • Lorrry Rawrie

      5 years ago

      It's a pet peeve >____<

    • Lorrry Rawrie

      5 years ago

      I hate it when you mod me +1 Cool smiley5.gif

    • ABYSS_GK

      5 years ago

      Sorry about dissappearing. I get to talk to you all the time, I never get to see my dad drunk.

    • ABYSS_GK

      5 years ago

      You have to tell me your favorite Assassin of AC right this minute!!! NAO!!!!!!

    • fluffnight

      5 years ago

      Oh! Hay! How're you?!

    • ABYSS_GK

      6 years ago

      Kittens + Star Wars = Diabeetuz Levels of Cuteness

    • JayCee FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Oh, okay, that's kind of cool, but was hoping for some of the main cast.

    • JayCee FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      I've been on a trip so catching up on all my shows... was it W13 on Alphas, Alphas on W13 or both?

    • DemonAkasha

      6 years ago

      Hey Grail, I might have to take a couple to small claims court. Have any advice? Not sure if you have ever dealt with it before? But I thought you might be the guy to ask.

      Post edited 7/29/11 1:24PM

    • Fungster

      6 years ago

      I know I ain't the point but I don't drink coffee......I know, its not a good excuess

    • JayCee FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      I missed it because neither the original or repeat fit into my schedule without a major overhaul... I think it repeats on Friday after Haven, might catch it then.

    • JayCee FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      I tried Alphas pilot but it was slow and not engaging. They sat around a desk, made rain man jokes... it was more along the lines of one of their tv movies, doesn't hold a candle to other syfy fare. Sorry.

    • MissZahrah FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      You are welcome any time at all with five minute's notice (to make sure I'm dressed)!

      The problem with the door isn't the door, but rather, the fact that I've bought hinges to hang the door no less than three times and somehow between their purchase and the actual getting around to putting them on, the hinges disappear.

      But should I ever manage to actually have the hinges located, I will be sure to give you a call and you can definitely hang my door. Any ol' excuse will do to have you folk down to visit! smiley12.gif

    • Dopp ROLL TIDE

      6 years ago

      Happy Father's Day, brother!

    • Dopp ROLL TIDE

      6 years ago

      I don't know what to think of the rumor of 5,000 tickets.

      I understand that they're planning on a real Convention atmosphere, but it was crazy this year with 500, so 5,000 is unfathomable....

    • Dopp ROLL TIDE

      6 years ago

      Nah, dude. I have a family reunion this year in Florida so I'll be all vacation'd out.

      Hopefully next year I'm going to try my damnedest to get to RvB:TO. I know that's far from you, too, but that's about as close as I'll be able to get with as little money as I make.

    • Dopp ROLL TIDE

      6 years ago

      Did I lie? smiley8.gif

    • Dopp ROLL TIDE

      6 years ago

      Not sure, I'm at the apartment now. Gotta head back tomorrow. Got to talk to the guy for a while. He's good people, for sure.

    • Dopp ROLL TIDE

      6 years ago

      I physically saw Luke text a Randy Williams... It said that I said hi.

    • Dopp ROLL TIDE

      6 years ago

      Can't believe you won't even answer texts from your best friends.

    • Ratmaster

      6 years ago

      My Dad is hoping it will be a write-off...
      He has replacement insurance so he will get a brand new car if it is.

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      6 years ago

      Woo-hoo! smiley13.gif
      Thank you and see you all tomorrow! smiley12.gif

    • Fungster

      6 years ago

      sorry but to disagree.

      But Iv heard testamonies, at my church, of previous people who turned or are turning their lifesyle around.

    • Laird

      6 years ago

      dom.jpg

      "What makes you think I am making fun of LUKE?"

      Post edited 3/27/11 1:42AM

    • solicemoon FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Thanks man!

    • Hale

      6 years ago

      Heh, as much as I would like that, it is not necessary. Besides... so many more people need money these days. I'd feel all sorts of guilty.

    • Hale

      6 years ago

      Many thanks for the concern, I'm very glad to have such caring friends. However, I'm more worried with just the trip itself. Even Ninjaing the Bus like usual has gone up in price quite a bit. I need a damn job. Hahah

    • LDude

      6 years ago

      What does your title "Apr 29_May 1" mean?

    • Fungster

      6 years ago

      np

    • Fungster

      6 years ago

      Hey Randy, Im trying to buy the tickets for Canwest, but the stupid paypal keeps poping up that the transaction could not be completed

    • Sxndy

      6 years ago

      Yo Grail, hope you are well.

    • Kabetz

      6 years ago

      So do I. Which is why I'm not terribly worried if I don't find my dvd.
      I just really LIKE dvds.
      Plus, the copy on my computer is not fantastic.

    • Karnak FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Well, if the rumors are true I won't have a job come February anyway, so maybe I will. Of course to find a woman willing to put of with my dumbass is a different story....

    • Fungster

      6 years ago

      .....is exactly the same words that came into my head when I 1st met them

  • Questions

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