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  Groundhog Day With Murder

  2 weeks ago

  iMacOfDeath

  News

  Generally speaking I hate timed missions and events that you must complete before the clock runs out, it just stresses me to no end and when I play games the one thing I am trying to rid myself of above all is anxiety. So why is it I found a game all about that concept being incorporated into everything so much fun? How did I come to enjoy my time with The Sexy Brutale? Was it the awesome music? The eye catching graphics? Or maybe it was a story that featured twists that even I didn't see coming? Yeah, it was probably all of those things.

  
  

  If you haven't seen it yet, Jim Sterling did a preview of this game and it was that video that got me interested. However, while I did buy the game immediately, I allowed it to sit and gather digital dust on my Xbox One until about two weeks ago when I finally decided to put Waifuwatch aside and see other games. I started with the Portal-esque Quantum Conundrum and finished with this game, and I must say that I ended up saving the best for last. From the menu to the ending credits, everything about this game pulled me in.

  
  

  Loading up the game you're going to experience the very same OST I did, and I won't lie when I spent 15 minutes on the menu just dancing in my chair to the jazzy tunes. All throughout the game there is this sensual and seductive soundtrack making sweet love to my ears, a new song starting up as you enter specific areas of the Sexy Brutale, a casino-mansion run by a man known as the Marquise. Each song a new style that sets the mood, from the pumping and jazzy Casino theme to the dark and elegant theme for Willow. The game even features a few song that are fully voiced, with such deep emotion that you'll likely find yourself being caught up in the moment.

  
  

  Of course there's an actual game to this soundtrack, and as the title implies, this is a game that features heavy use of the 'Time Loop' mechanic. At the start of the game you are given a pocket watch that allows you to set your spawn within the mansion at grandfather clocks, and it allows you to reset the day; though the day will still reset even if you don't use the watch. Your mission is to seek out the various guests and prevent their untimely deaths, doing this by studying the map, learning the tricks, and completing tasks before the hour of death is upon you. Every death is unique and can sometimes be a bit of a head scratcher to solve, but with each soul you save you earn a new power.

  
  

  While the 'Time Loop' mechanic is your main power, you'll earn more abilities after saving a guest. By saving Willow, my personal favorite character, you get the ability to see ghosts and interact with them. By saving Trinity you get the power of super hearing, allowing you to hear footsteps and whispered words. Not every power is as useful as the others, like Thanos' ability to learn the secrets of a room you enter, which just gives you some unlockable information in the pause menu that works up to earning you an achievement. Even then though, every power does serve a purpose to aiding your progression in stopping the murders and learning the truth behind the deaths.

  
  

  Speaking of which, the story in this game is stellar. It seems pretty simple at first, with a ghost-like lady called the Bloody Woman resurrecting you at the beginning and giving you the ability to remain unseen to the other guests and servants. She tasks you with stopping the murders and solving the mystery of the Sexy Brutale, but with every new piece of information you get you begin to see that this is not a simple game of death that the Marquise is playing with his guests. At first you might think this 'something' to be a sinister entity, or maybe even the ignorant and cruel mind of someone seeking power. However the truth is actually quite simple, and a great twist comes along with the truth and even had me wide-eyed.

  
  

  This is not a game I'd recommend if you are the type who needs a happy ending, as all three endings you can get are depressing, sad, or just feel wrong. Two of these endings are available upon reaching the final big moment of the game, one of them however is locked behind a door that requires you to collect all 52 playing cards strewn through the mansion. This is not an easy task, and if you miss one you're going to have to spend hours scouring every nook and cranny, this almost happened to me but I got lucky and found that the one card I was missing was in plain sight. I'd suggest just keeping note of where each card is and not picking them up, then collecting them after beating them game to obtain the secret ending.

  
  

  If you're in the market for a game that will give you about 20 to 30 hours of game play, features a pretty enthralling story, and has a bumping OST, then I implore you to give The Sexy Brutale a shot. The game is available for all major platforms, and only costs a Jackson. And you know what, I'll admit it, this is one of the few games that I liked enough to commission artwork of. (I think you know what kind.)

  
  

  The Sexy Brutale gets an 8.8 out of 10

  
  

  
  

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  Not Portal

  3 weeks ago

  iMacOfDeath

  News

  There haven't been many games that attempted to bank on the Portal popularity, given that the kind of work needed to go into a story, the game's mechanics, and the complications of puzzles was enough to scare away most would-be developers. However this didn't deter Airtight Games and Square Enix, as they teamed up to put out their own attempt to be like Portal but with enough of a difference that it made them unique. The result? A decent game with a pretty basic story and some alright puzzles that were only made difficult by poor controls, probably not what they were going for but it's what they got.

  
  

  The game features a far more cartoony style than Portal does, as the opening cutscenes tell the tale of a son that is abandoned by his mother at his uncle's mansion time and time again. As his uncle was a grand inventor of all things, each time the nephew arrived his uncle had a new gadget to show off. Pharah's jet pack, Mei's freeze ray, but upon his third visit his uncle was nowhere to be found. As you walk into the mansion a great shaking rocks the home, and your uncle announces over the mansion's intercom system that he has been sent to another dimension. Now it is your job to use your uncle's latest device, a glove that can control dimensions, to free him from his fate.

  
  

  From the time you pick up the glove you can immediately see the similarities between Quantum Conundrum and Portal, with a good swath of the puzzle revolving around getting a safe, this game's version of the companion cube, on a large button. As you progress through the mansion reactivating generators you earn more dimensions to use, which means the puzzles become more and more complex and require quick thinking and fast button presses. The first dimensions your given access to is the fluffy dimension, this turns everything around you into a softer looking version and makes everything lighter. Need to pick up a heavy safe? Switch to the fluffy dimension. You acquire three additional dimensions to use later on, the heavy dimension, the slow dimension, and the reverse gravity dimension. The puzzles also increase in difficulty, as they continue to build upon one another and require quickly changing dimensions to complete a task. This might sound ok, but there's a slight problem.

  
  

  The controls. This game becomes infuriating more so than Portal just for the fact the control are so floaty and suffer from a small delayed, so when you're hopping across safes flying across a room you might very well just slip off one. Not because you mistimed anything, but because your character will float a little as they land causing you to think you didn't land it and jump unnecessarily. Everything takes some getting use to, but when the puzzles require precise timing to keep you air surfing on a couch without slamming into a wall, well it can be pretty frustrating. Oh, but don't worry about ever missing any of the dialogue from your uncle, as every time you restart from a checkpoint he'll be there to repeat his lines. Though I forgave this part of the restart process, as the voice of your uncle is none other than John de Lancie, or as I like to call him 'Q'.

  
  

  De Lancie does a great job at playing an uncle who has a great sense of pride in his inventions, and delivers his lines with a quirky sense of humor that had me chuckle once or twice. The humor in the game is of a far more kid-friendly sort than Portal ever was, never delving down deep enough to be called dark or adult. Obviously the audience the developer was aiming for was a bit younger than Valve's target, I mean, they even had a fluffy mascot character named IKE that would teleport around the levels. Though personally I though IKE was more terrifying then anything, looking like a cross between Stitch and a Mogwai. Encountering IKE in the slow dimension is even more frightening, as his growls and other vocal sounds are distorted and terrifying. There's even a menu option called 'Do a Thing', which is a damn jump scare by IKE. Creepy AF.

  
  

  Given the fact the Narrator is one of my favorite actors ever, doing his best with the script handed to him, I gave the whole game a pass. The gameplay might be frustrating to get use to given the controls, but there is a way to warm up to them and as the kids would say "Get Good". And while the style of the game didn't really grab me, it also didn't really push me away. The biggest problem with the graphics was the pop-in and the freezing, which surprised me given the fact this is a 360 game running on an Xbox One. You'd think it could handle the loading, but no, that's not the case. So what happens when you throw all that together? Well, you get an "alright" game. Nothing to stop what your doing and buy straight away for, but maybe something you should check out if you are looking for a quick-ish game (around 20 hours) with some pretty cheap DLC to keep you going if you do end up enjoying it more than me.

  
  

  Quantum Conundrum gets a 6.6 out of 10

  
  

  
  

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  Oh DearS...

  1 month ago

  iMacOfDeath

  News

  Aside from the constant stream of anime I attempt to keep up with every season, I also have a single completed anime that I keep on the back-burner to fill in for when I'm going in-between season. This time around I've had that anime sitting around for nearly a full year, only watching an episode when I really had nothing else to watch. Perhaps it was because the anime was not great, with a significant amount of facepalming and head shaking. Perhaps it was because the animation hadn't aged very well, and looked very dated for only being fourteen years old. Or maybe it was because my time is becoming more precious, and I have far less time to waste on things like a subpar anime. Whatever the reasons may be, DearS was that anime.

  
  

  The story revolves around a guy by the name of Takeya, who is a high school student that hates aliens. Unluckily for him an alien ship crash lands in the waters not too far off from Japan, the inhabitants of this ship being beautiful, buxom women, and good looking men. Humanity immediately accepts the aliens and within a year a large majority of the aliens are naturalized as Japanese citizens, which of course was probably only possible because the aliens were friendly, attractive, and their landing was a public thing that governments of the world couldn't hide. Things don't get much better for Takeya though, as his school has been selected to host one of these naturalized aliens.

  
  

  It's during this time that we start to see hints that this alien society might not be the perfectly perfect and beautiful guests they act like, as we see that leaders in their society are at odds with one another and seem to be keeping a number of aliens in cryostasis because they are "damaged". Takeya's luck just keeps getting better because he ends up meeting one such "defective unit" by the name of Ren, and is forced to be her master as she forms a contract with him. From here Takeya houses, feeds, and clothes Ren much to his annoyance. Ren attempts to pay Takeya back with some sexy-time, but the guy, aside from being an asshole to most the women in this series, has no dick and continually pushes Ren away. He never goes as far as hitting her, but he does berate her verbally all the time; just to really hit home how much of an ass Takeya is.

  
  

  Now you might be thinking "Oh, maybe he has some reason for acting this way?" And you'd be right. See back when he was a kid, his childhood friend Neneko had him watch a bunch of scary alien movies with her that traumatized him. Does this excuse his behavior though? Fuck no. He has no other reasons to be a dick to women, except for maybe the fact his father remarried to a woman he himself wanted to date. This marriage brings Takeya a little sister who is seemingly nice unless Takeya is involved in something perverse, at which point she will berate and beat up her older brother with reckless abandon. You know, maybe this is why Takeya has no dick; he doesn't like being his little sister's punching bag. Still doesn't redeem him of his terrible personality, but it's something I guess.

  
  

  Back at school the hosted alien named Miu shows up, exemplifying what DearS are suppose to be like. Subservient, perfect in every way, and basically made for sex and security. She ends up sharing the spotlight with Ren however, who has been accepted as a student by the principle. While hijinks ensue between Ren, Takeya, Miu, and Neneko, we see the rumblings of danger as the dominatrix alien that is standing in as the leader of the DearS orders the capturing of Ren who will be returned to cryostasis as to not sully the good name of DearS. I'm not sure why the actual leader alien, who we see in stasis a few time, wasn't awoken, but it the dominatrix alien alluded to also not understanding why she hadn't regained consciousness. This plot device made me think they were aiming for a second season, as the very final scene in the anime was this leader awakening with a smile. Is she good? Is she bad? You'll have to read the manga to find out.

  
  

  When all is said and done, the anime got pretty stupid towards the end. As Ren is hunted down to be refrozen, Takeya acts like a dickhead and attempts to ignore the thing called a subconsciousness that is telling him to cut the shit and grow a pair. However it's not until he learns that Ren is going to be iced that suddenly he decides to turn a new leaf, going as far as to fight one of the security aliens to rescue Ren. Where did this sudden rush of feelings come from? I honestly can't say, as I can tell you with some certainty that Takeya didn't actually feel anything for Ren for most of the anime. He treats he like shit! He's abusive! I can't hammer down how much I didn't like Takeya, which is why this anime just never meant anything more to me than a way to waste time.

  
  

  Genres: Romantic Comedy, Science Fiction

  
  

  Animation: What might have been acceptable quality in 2004, is now anything but. Like going from a wedge of blue cheese, to just a moldy wedge of cheese. I'm pretty sure the studio, Daume, is also defunct now. This was a studio responsible for Shiki, Minami-ke, and Please Teacher! They've not animated anything since 2010, which is why I'm assuming they're sunk. Though perhaps they still exist by doing smaller bit stuff, since as far as I can tell they still have employees.

  
  

  Voice Acting: I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this was probably not one of Kishō Taniyama's favorite roles to have played, an actor who has also voiced Koichi Shido from High School of the Dead and Stiyl Magnus from A Certain Magical Index. Not because he didn't do a good job, but because he had to play an unlikable asshat who was mean to hot alien waifus. Then again, he did play Koichi, and that guy had a bangbus full of students in the zombie apocalypse.

  
  

  Favorite Character: Might surprise you that I had one, given how much I didn't care for this anime. But this was actually a pretty easy choice, as I found myself really enjoying anything Mitsuka-sensei was in. An English teacher at Takeya's school, Mitsuka-sensei is also a major exhibitionist who enjoys flirting with her students. She is often stripping in the scenes she is in, wearing all sorts of erotic undergarments. While mostly there to inject humor, I think she was the most likable character of the series. I mean, we learn that aside from being a teacher she is also a porn actress! God damn man! Someone sign me up for that class!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  DearS gets a 4.0 out of 10

  
  

  
  

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  The Sneaky Father and The Murdering Empress

  1 month ago

  iMacOfDeath

  News

  Five years ago I experienced the half of what the first entry into the Dishonored series had to offer, only playing through the main campaign using non-lethal takedowns and ghosting about like the Burger King in Sneak King. I didn't feel like playing the game in what was known as 'High Chaos Mode' was what I had bought the game for, and it felt wrong to be so loud and proud in a game very much centered around stealth. As ambiguous as they wanted to make the endings, there was clearly a "good" and "bad" ending and I didn't like the thought of playing the game through a second time just to get the ending. Cut to now and I've finished the second entry into the series, having spent the time to fully experience everything the game had to offer. I stealthed, I stabbed, I choked, and I shot my way through two separate playthroughs. However, did this mean that Dishonored 2 was a better game? Well, not really.

  
  

  Beginning Dishonored 2 you get the feeling that the game takes a middle road to the previous entry's ending, feeling more like the world around you was the result of a neutral stance on killing enemies. Little Emily is all grown up now and fills the throne her mother once possessed rather nicely, and Corvo, her father and Royal Protector, still remains by her side. The game starts during a ceremony to honor the memory of Emily's mother, but is soon interrupted by unexpected guests. The Duke of Serkonos arrives with an entourage of mechanical men, and a woman by the name of Delilah who claims to be Emily's aunt. This is no happy reunion however, as Delilah demands the throne and begins to massacre the attendants and royal guard. She even is able to shake off being stabbed through the stomach by Corvo, and reveals, as she takes away Corvo's powers, that she too has been marked by the Outsider. This leads to your first big choice in the game, who do you want to play as? Corvo and Emily are both available, but whoever you don't pick will soon find themselves in a rocky tomb.

  
  

  I went with Corvo for my true and first playthrough, as I liked the idea of continuing to be Emily's Royal Protector and knew most of Corvo's powers from the previous game. My second time through I went with Emily, playing her as a "kill em all and let god sort em out" kind of empress. The differences between the characters is obvious, and so is what happens when you pursue one type of chaos or the other. Now while the game tries to put both characters on a level playing field, I honestly felt like Corvo was built more for stealth than Emily. His 'Blink' ability was perfect for avoiding enemies and reaching really out-of-the-way places, meanwhile Emily's 'Far Reach' ability was much more aggressive and included upgrades that made it useful in close combat. So I was pretty satisfied with my decision in who to play stealth and who to play loud.

  
  

  Much like in the first game your 'Chaos' level can significantly alter the maps, where in a non-lethal run you can easily access a back alley and even pay a homeless beggar for some nifty info, and a lethal run you will find that same alley filled with Blood Flies and Nest Keepers. So what's the upside of playing a killer then? Well I won't lie, it makes the game much easily to be able to stop around and slash away at enemies. Close combat is a breeze if you get the timing of parrying down pat, and you don't need to pay attention at being spotted or managing your supplies. I can't tell you how many times I had to reload a save because I slipped up and got spotted as Corvo, or accidentally threw an unconscious person I was carrying instead of placing them down. But you know, even with all the frustration, playing stealth and non-lethal just felt far more rewarding. It was like picking a harder difficulty, but without the need for the game to make enemies have more health or be more alert.

  
  

  But I can't help but feel that this entry was lesser of the two, with none of the cool map designs the first game had and the reliance upon a main antagonist from DLC content. Thinking back to the OG Dishonored, I fondly recall the masquerade party and the brothel level. They were fun, interesting, and had plenty of color. In Dishonored 2, there were no such maps. "Oh, but what about that crazy mansion from the trailers?" You might be saying. Well my friend, might it surprise you to learn that the "crazy mansion" that would change rooms and shift around is totally avoided in a full stealth run? You basically go backstage, like you might in Portal, where you can see all the mechanical parts but experience none of them lest you alert the boss of that level. All the maps lack color, everything feels dreary and empty. I'd even go as far to say that maps in Dishonored 2 were more linear than OG Dishonored, in respect to the different routes available for you to take and the ways you can deal with enemies. I mean, even the hub world was less interesting! In OG Dishonored you get to explore more of your hub world the further you progress in the game, and there's even a point where your hub world gets invaded by the guard and you have to retake it. In Dishonored 2 your hub world is a boat, small and rather boring, only prompting you to explore it for the collectable audio logs and books that change with each return. All aboard the steam boat to Snoozeville.

  
  

  As I mentioned, Delilah is actually a character introduced in DLC from the first game, having been though dead from the events of that DLC. She comes off pretty dull, just being there to create a focal point for your end game. The game tries to make you feel for her, as she was just the black sheep of her family. The daughter of the previous emperor and a servant girl, who just wanted for daddy to praise her like he did with her sister Jessamine. Yet she was tossed out when a younger and scared Jessamine lied about who broke a priceless vase, her mother soon died from sickness and this turned Delilah into the vengeful woman she is in Dishonored 2. However I felt nothing for her, as she directed her haltered towards her niece, who had nothing to do with her expulsion, just because Jessamine was already dead at that point. By the end of my full stealth run I simply trapped her inside a painting of her own design, where she can live out her delusional fantasy of being respected and loved by everyone. Maybe I might have cared more if I had played the DLC, but that's the problem with relying upon people playing DLC to understand a character.

  
  

  In conclusion I say that Dishonored 2 was a good attempt at making more content in the world of Dishonored, but it failed on multiple fronts. It didn't have any memorable levels, it was rather linear compared to the first game, the ways you could deal with the boss characters felt less creative, and while I didn't really cover it, the art style also felt too cubic. It lost that touch of Half Life that the first game had, and tried to make up for it with upping the sharp settings to the max. Hopefully if a third entry rolls out they will address these issues, but that's probably a far way out if it even does ever happen.

  
  

  Dishonored 2 gets a 7.8 out of 10

  
  

  
  

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  A Very Emotional Board Game

  1 month ago

  iMacOfDeath

  News

  The first season of 3-gatsu no Lion surprised me with how invested it got me into a board game I knew little to nothing about, espically when it came with characters who had tons of personal baggage. Because if you know me, then you know I avoid drama like the plague. Teenage drama is a disease that has infected many regions of anime, corrupting the good ones and making the bad ones even worse. However the drama in 3-gatsu is not that teenage bs, instead, it is hard hitting stuff that comes out of left field and knocks you upside the feels. But with all of these positivities, how does a second season stack up? Does it capture the same feelings? Can it possibly hope to be better than the first? The answer may surprise you.

  
  

  Picking up from where the original season left off, our main character, Rei, is experiencing the full monty of what school life has to offer. At first Rei was almost never in class, only taking the bare minimum he needed to pass even though he was a stellar student. He used his time to study game scenarios, moves, and practice in quite. His focus was always on becoming a top shōgi player, and it's no dream, as he already earns more playing competitive shōgi than his teacher makes working full-time. However he has come out of his shell to participate more, joining a science club where he teaches shōgi to his club-mates. Even Akari, Hinata, and Momo, the family of three girls he frequently visits, has noticed him opening up more. I was a bit hesitent to like the change myself, as I connected better to the loner version of Rei, but I was willing to give him a shot.

  
  

  We get a brief reminder that the top shōgi player in the world is still around, his title being challenged by other big players, though none have yet to best him. There's also a bit where we are introduced to Gotō's wife, a comatose woman that he seems to genuinely care for. This shows us a softer side to Gotō, one we have yet to see, as all we have known up till now is that Rei hates him for stringing along Kyōko, his adoptive sister. Though this is also addressed, and it seems that perhaps things between Kyōko and Gotō are less romantic or even physical than anyone might have guessed. However this is all just fluff as far as I am concerned, as the real meat of this season is slammed on our table like a juicy roast ham.

  
  

  You see last season might have done well with its drama, but it didn't quite connect. It revolved around the pain of loss, as Rei dealt with the loss of his entire immediate family, being ostracized from his adoptive one, and trying to connect to a new one. However this season deals with a topic I am all too familiar with, having been on both ends of the spectrum; bullying. And not just any type of bullying, but the worst kind that can only come from female bullies. In school, Hinata has learned that one of her best friends, a timid and friendly girl, has become the target of some very nasty bullying. Hinata is a strong and popular girl, and she tried to assist her friend, only to see her friend move away to recover from the trauma. Very quickly Hinata become the new target, and while she tries to handle it without making a fuss, she eventually cracks and has not just us, but even the calm and collected Rei, wanting to kill the girls who were hurting her. This part of the season really got to me, as it did a perfect job of capturing how bad bullying can become and that even when you have friends and family who are there to help, in the end, the only way it can be dealt with is to have the school fucking man up and address it publicly. I know all too well that teachers will generally ignore the situation, they will shift the blame on the one being bullied, and the parents of those bullies will act like its not their child's fault. So the only way to solve the problem is for the school to buckle down and make it public, even if it hurts their precious reputation, because if they don't stop it there they'll have blood on their hands. Either from the bullied committing suicide, the bullying going too far, or the bullied getting revenge against a school that ignored their pleas.

  
  

  After this very real and very hard hitting bit, the anime treats us to a reward. Rei is able to progress further and obtain a title that makes it possible for one of my hopes to be fulfilled, Rei will get to play against Tōji, the top shōgi player in the world. Its not a match that will be anything more than a publicity stunt to try and bring more attention and revenue to competitive shōgi, but it had me giddy with excitement as I could easily see the similarities between Rei and Tōji and wonder what a match might be like between these two. The match has us learn a secret about Tōji, one that Rei ends up learning as he become stranded on the return trip with him. I believe this act was to make Rei see Tōji in a more normal light, and make him realize that even the best of the best have faults that they live with every single day.

  
  

  The season wraps up with another big match between Kai and Shōichi, a match that I easily saw as appealing to those in there late 60's. Shōichi continually going over the fact he's getting old, and that eventually the world will forget him. His friends reinforcing his fears as they are forced to retire, or end up abandoning their dreams. And even though I'm not nearly 60, I still could feel the fear of being forgotten, something that I think is even worse than death. Lastly there is some progression for Rei and Hinata, as this friendly pairing is becoming closer and closer to something one might consider to be romantic. Rei spends time alone with Hinata, helping her study so she can join his school, and even Hinata's new look, which usually spells the death of a female character, was accepted with a strange eagerness by Rei. Hinata herself is more than appreciative for the help Rei has offered her, and for being there for her during that terrible time when she was bullied. I am really looking forward to seeing this pair grow, as I am more than happy with the pace the relationship is progressing.

  
  

  To answer the question of whether or not this season did better than the first, I would have to say 'yes'. The anime stuck a major cord with me, covering a topic like bullying to such a degree and doing such a damn good job at it too. Everything else about the series continued to be what it was, which means that everything else was just as good as the first season.

  
  

  Genres: Sports, Drama, Comedy

  
  

  Animation: My thoughts here haven't changed from the first season, as the animation is astounding. The whole anime is atmospheric and beautiful, all of which is provided by studio Shaft. These are guys behind the Monogatari series, Sayonara Zetsubō Sensei, and Tsukuyomi: Moon Phase. I didn't care for their work on Monogatari, being far too "out there" with the styles, but here they kept to the script and amplified the style found in the manga. I approve.

  
  

  Voice Acting: You couldn't have truly capture that bullying part without some high tier acting and boy howdy does Hinata's voice actress, Kana Hanazawa, do a damn fine job of reaching into our hearts and squeezing. Everyone was great, but I have to give it up for Kana's part in Hinata's emotional rant.

  
  

  Favorite Character: Remaining at the top of my list, is Rei. While I was unsure of his growth, I eventually came to realize that without it he would have been a static character that couldn't have assisted Hinata. It's because he grew that he was able to lend a shoulder to cry on, and offer her the idea of joining him at his school. He even had Akari crying from his help, letting her know that she never needs to feel like she has to carry the weight of her family alone. Its really touching, and made us only see Rei in a warmer light.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  3-gatsu no Lion S2 gets a 9.8 out of 10

  
  

  
  

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  All Hail Ainz Ooal Gown

  1 month ago

  iMacOfDeath

  News

  There have been a few "teleported to another world" anime that have struck home with me even since I was introduced to the genre by Isekai no Seikishi Monogatari, some still remain in manga form but of those that have been animated only one delved into making the main protagonist a non-human villain. I am of course speaking of Overlord, where we follow the actions of an undead lich who was once a lonely human preparing to witness the end of a video game he had spent a lot of his life on. In the first season we are introduced to major characters, learn much about the world this takes place in, uncover some plot points that are clearly meant to be expanded upon, and are treated to some pretty rad conflicts. I had already guessed that another season would eventually show up, and here it is! But did it keep up with my expectations or fail to meet them?

  
  

  Well, the beginning couple of episodes don't really strike home, being rather messy. There's a host of new characters show on screen, many of whom we never seen again, but they still are hinted at being rather important to the overall story. For example, a conversation between an old woman and a dragon shows us that this dragon had once fought Shalltear, the loli vampiress who came close to being my favorite character last season. Yet this is the only time we ever seen this character, not even coming up in any future dialogue. Will we see more of there characters? Possibly. I mean, I feel like another season would be an obvious decision to give these episodes more gravity, but I worry there is not enough written content to put out another full season. So if there is one coming, we may be waiting a few years.

  
  

  The messy introduction doesn't stop there though, as we change to focus on a lizardman clan. This bit of story goes on for several episodes, and centers around a warrior lizardman named Zaryusu. We watch as he unites several other clans to face off against a powerful enemy that will soon be bringing death upon them, eventually learning that this enemy is none other than Ainz. The whole things felt like bit of filler, considering that the lizardmen never stood a chance once Ainz had Cocytus personally deal with them. I mean, they even had a romance form between Zaryusu and Lulu, a lizardwoman who is able to convince Ainz to resurrect Zaryusu after being killed by Cocytus. I guess, if anything, this arc was to show us that Ainz's guardians are evolving to make decisions for themselves. Something that Ainz himself is happy with, likely because he doesn't want a bunch of NPCs to micromanage.

  
  

  After shaking off the inundation of characters and awkward lizardman sex, we finally get to what I would consider to be the '"good" part of this season. The focus changes to the city where Ainz has had Sebas and Solution reside, as Sebas, thinking upon the teachings of his former master, Lord Touch Me, saves a human female named Tuare from near death and has her work for him as a maid. Solution, being a slime, hates this course of action Sebas has taken to the point she goes behind his back to inform Ainz that she thinks Sebas may be going to betray Ainz. But a test of faith proves her suspicious are for naught, and that all that is going on is that Tuare and Sebas have begun a romantic relationship. Have I mention that Sebas is fucking awesome?

  
  

  The second half of the focus is the battle with the Eight Fingers, a crime syndicate that earns Ainz's ire after abducting Tuare who had become a maid of Nazarick upon his approval, and orders their destruction. This goal is undertaken by multiple parties, one of which is the princess and her loyal bodyguard Climb. This group caught my eye in particular due to the princess being a major yandere for Climb, going as far as to send him to the most dangerous places in hopes that he will be severely hurt and require her constant care. She normally puts on a facade around others, but eventually reveals her darker side to her half brother and a Marquis who collude with her to deal with the eight fingers. And let me tell you boys, this girl has one of the darkest yandere personalities I have seen yet. Even I was caught off guard by her change in expressions. I do wish her well in her efforts with Climb however, because nothing says love like chaining someone to your bed.

  
  

  The other parties involved in the destruction of the eight fingers are both Nazarick related, with Sebas leading the recovery team to locate and extract Tuare and Demiruge playing the role of an evil demon king who is there to make the human warrior facade of Ainz look even more important. The whole things ends up with the eight fingers falling under the control of Nazarick, and Ainz duking it out with Demiruge before the fake demon king pulls back making Ainz look like a hero. Amusingly enough, Ainz also earns a fangirl named Evileye, who was nearly able to kill Entoma, a cute bug maid of Nazarick. Though I doubt this relationship will go anywhere, as Ainz nearly lost it when he learned that Entoma had nearly been killed by Evileye. So I guess while Ainz can still blend in and get along with humans, his loyalties still fall deeply with Nazarick and its inhabitants.

  
  

  Much like the last season I can easily see another one on the way, to make use of those other characters we were introduced to but never saw much of. I still don't see where this is all leading to, what the end goal is, because I don't think Ainz cares much about finding a way out of this world. I mean, I wouldn't either. Becoming an all-powerful lich with your own faction and more than a few hot girls trying to jump your bone? What isn't to like? However I do have to say this season didn't quite wow me as much as the first, with the messy first few episodes and a lack of a heart pumping battle like the one Ainz had with the mind-controlled Shalltear. So sadly, it does fall a little in my opinion.

  
  

  Genres: Fantasy, Action, Adventure

  
  

  Animation: Continuing their work from the first season, studio Madhouse returns. Their work is large and varied, containing names like One-Punch Man, Highschool of the Dead, and Black Lagoon. I shouldn't have to tell you, but this is one those high tier studios known for some amazing visuals. While details won't be fleshed out until the Blu-ray release, the overall quality was well beyond passing.

  
  

  Voice Acting: Satoshi Hino continues to do a great job as Ainz, impressing me with the ability to switch between the deep and gravely voice of Ainz and the more normal one that he uses in his internal dialogue. I honestly thought there were two people playing the same character, but my digging has proven that just Satoshi is responsible for the Japanese voice. Impressive.

  
  

  Favorite Character: Here's a shocker, it's not Albedo or Shalltear. No, neither of them make much of an appearance in this season, so I just couldn't justify giving this award to either one for the small scenes they show up in. Instead, I had no doubt in my mind that Sebas Tian was the clear winner. He's a gentleman, has a great sense of style, treats those he deems worthy with a level hand, and he has a great voice provided by Shigeru Chiba. He's also one of the only characters in an active relationship, with potential that the relationship will lead be further developed. So good.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Overlord II gets a 8.7 out of 10

  
  

  
  

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  Snack Wars: Less Snacking

  1 month ago

  iMacOfDeath

  News

  Have you ever seen something change and feel somewhat indifferent to the alterations? Even if the changes included a rather large one that really shook things up? Because that's exactly what I felt after watching season two of Dagashi Kashi. Indifference to the fact most of the anime essentially shelves a key character, indifference that the anime's focus was no longer the same, and indifference towards changes in characters I really liked from the first season. At the same time however I can recognize that these changes may turn some watchers away, so allow me to be your town crier and bring you up to speed on this second season's offerings.

  
  

  To kick things off, this season almost immediately removes the snack obsessive Hotaru from the equation. Sure we get a few episodes where she shoves her tits in our faces to remind us that she is just as stacked as before, and establishes that she still has bad luck when it comes to games of contest. But then, after an almost confession from Kokonotsu, she takes off and is not seen again until the final episode. Not only Hotaru, but also Kokonotsu's father Yō leaves the picture. We do get some background on how Hotaru became so obsessed with Japanese snacks and the traditional snack shops, which felt like a low blow right in the feels from Dagashi shop owners everywhere, but her and Yō's departure leaves a vacuum that two new characters attempt to fill.

  
  

  At first we are introduced to the owner of a brand new convenience store that opened up across the street from Kokonotsu's place, an eccentric man by the name of Beniyutaka who we later learn is actually Hotaru's older brother. He creates the problem of finances and competition in the small town Kokonotsu lives in, though this is partially due in part to Kokonotsu letting the shop go to the dogs after Hotaru absence. The second character is the female replacement for Hotaru, and was by far the more important of the two new characters introduced. Her name is Hajime and she is prime office lady material, wearing a business-esque outfit, sporting glasses, and the smarts to create a website. She is most certainly the most mature character yet, in more ways than one, but her major flaw is that she is very lazy and often falls asleep at work. Not that that bothers me, she more than makes up for it with her efforts between naps.

  
  

  The second part of my indifferences was the change in focus, with the story being far less about Japanese snacks and the little facts we might find interesting about them. Instead there this back and forth between hijinks involving Kokonotsu's group of friends, and Kokonotsu's own life and what his goals were and now are. Hotaru's absence makes him realize that his original goal of being a mangaka was put off, and that he needs to get his act together if he wants to return to that goal. The whole season comes off feeling far less comedic than the previous, with the change in focus and the lack of Hotaru who for all intensive purposes serves as a kind of wild card that none of the characters, even the new ones, can replicate effectively. Yet even though this change meant I was not getting what I came for, I still felt indifferent, likely because the third change had me off kilter to begin with.

  
  

  That third change being Saya's personaility, and in general, her character. Previously she was the level headed and cool country side gal who is in love with Kokonotsu, she excelled in all games and was recognized by Hotaru as "master". In this season she is that kind of character who reacts to anything not-normal with shouting and yelling, which reveals that her single fang has now become a full god damn set of shark teeth. Not that I have anything against shark teeth, but her single fang was cute and matched her accent rather well. I guess you could say she was put in the oven a little too long this season, because she is just overdone. Oh, and before I forget, because he's rather forgettable this season, Saya's brother Tō is still around. He gets almost no screen time, unlike the first season, and only shows up twice in any capacity to play a joke role.

  
  

  Yeah, this season pretty much was lack luster. It had its moments, for sure, but those only came up because I'm a perverted guy and I love older female characters who are one part business, one part sexy, and one part mother. I barely got in a laugh edgewise, and the "slice of life" aspect was far less prevalent in these more outlandish scenarios. The season wraps up by realizing it's mistake and bringing back Hotaru, allowing her and Kokonotsu to share another close moment, and then leaving off with her learning that Kokonotsu has more or less accepted the responsibility of being the manager of the Dagashi shop. This was her original goal to begin with, but it would seem that she now has decided that instead of Yō, she wants Kokonotsu.

  
  

  Genres: Comedy, Slice of Life

  Animation: Here's another change, as studio Feel is gone and Tezuka Productions has taken over. An odd choice, Tezuka Productions is the same group that animated Astro Boy, Black Jack, and Kids on the Slope. The whole animation is far more 'sharp', but this isn't a good thing. Season one taught us that this is a series with many ecchi moments, but 'sharp' animation is not something that works well with this genre. It's harder to capture a sexy look, and just ends up canceling out anything but the most blatant sexual innuendo.

  
  

  Voice Acting: Likely the only thing unchanged from the first season, everyone was still voiced by the same actors and they all performed just the same. The new characters were good too, though I was a bit surprised to learn that Hajime was voiced by Chinatsu Akasaki, the same actress who voices Alice Nakiri from Shokugeki no Soma. She honestly sounded nothing like her.

  
  

  Favorite Character: With the changes to Saya I just can't give this one to her again, and instead I will be handing off this award to Hajime Owari. Smart, good looking, and she shares a loves for sleeping with me. Her attire makes her look like a frazzled office lady, her personality is frantic but motherly, and she is totally ok with living under the same roof as a young man who has no parent present at the time. So she's either very mature, or she doesn't feel threatened by Kokonotsu. In either case, I dig it.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Dagashi Kashi 2 gets a 6.8 out of 10

  
  

  
  

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  Honey Badger Don't Care

  2 months ago

  iMacOfDeath

  News

  Ever think someone would anthropomorphize a meme and turn it into an anime? No? Well think again! Because in Killing Bites, we get just that. A series about a honey badger proving that she in fact has the sharpest fangs, and does so by biting, slashing, and dismembering her way through all sorts of other animal-human hybrids. You know, because Battle Royals are all the rage right now. Which is only slightly amusing, since this series began way before the whole PUBG and Fortnight craze; in manga form at least. But did this anime succeed in capturing the same feeling? Or was it just a bit of roadkill passed by on a busy highway?

  
  

  First things first, this anime, for anyone who has no clue about the series, has quite the start. A lone high school girl is walking down a street when a van pulls up along side her, the side door opens and she is pulled in by a few guys with unsavory plans for her. The driver of this van, a man by the name of Nomoto, is freaking out as he had no idea that this is what his new friends meant by "picking up chicks." His conscious gets the better of him and he stops the van, but is soon told to keep driving by the girl who also warns him to not look back. The camera pans and we see that all those would-be rapists are now bits and pieces, torn apart with gruesome abandon. You see this girl they abducted is actually an animal-human hybrid by the name of Hitomi, her animal half being that of the infamous honey badger.

  
  

  It's not long before Nomoto is pulled into an underground world full of these hybrids, learning that, after witnessing Hitomi battle a lion hybrid named Leo, these hybrids are made to participate in a underground battle royal known as 'Killing Bites'. The biggest and most powerful families in Japan deciding who controls the country's direction by placing their best hybrids in the royal, the surviving hybrid of the corresponding family being the deciding factor. Not exactly an efficient or cheap manner of going about it, but we're led to believe that the rich and powerful honestly have nothing better to do then watch the carnage unfold as the whole event is broadcast live to them.

  
  

  Nomoto himself is neither of these things however, and is actually a bit of a coward. For the most part he just lets Hitomi do her thing, stating that his strongest attribute is trusting her to do the thing she feels is the best course of action. His whole persona is sort of a wet blanket, but thankfully the very ending teases that this has changed. More on that in a bit.

  
  

  The anime, being the first season, has a good deal of character introduction. We met important players in the royal, powerful hybrids, and some side characters that don't really matter. The most prominent players being the scientist guy who is responsible for inventing the hybridization process, his name is Shidō and he is the only person who is able to fully control Hitomi. Turns out he didn't even create her, as she was just some freak hybrid that he had been searching for to help complete his research. The other big name is Yōko, the granddaughter of the head of the currently leading family who wishes to free her grandpa from the corrupting influence of the Killing Bites. It's amusing as she herself displays that the true nature of her family is very sadistic, often putting on a wide range of facial expressions that giveaway this fact. I ended up calling her the Queen of Emotion, though I'm not sure if I'm ok with how things windup for her. Especially considering she ended up not only losing the royal, but also her grandfather in a surprising act of betryal. Should have made friends with Nomoto.

  
  

  Besides Hitomi, who comes off as the strongest, there were a few others worth mentioning. You had a lesbo Cheetah with a brother complex, a bunny girl who ends up winning the royal by default, a rapey snake dude who gets his dicks cut off, a hippo who is a pretty nice guy that works for a pretty hot lady, an armadillo who loves nature and killing anyone who doesn't, and a slew of others who don't really live long enough for us to care. What's surprising is that the victor is not Hitomi, who I honestly thought was bound to be the winner. Even more surprising is the ending, which I didn't see coming at all. I mean, we get this touching scene between Nomoto and Hitomi, everything seems like it might end up with a romance, but all that is put to an end with Hitomi cutting Nomoto down and leaving him for dead. The whole world changes after this, with hybrids becoming the new hotness and Killing Bites becoming something akin to a sport. I was honestly surprised, though I was less surprised when we are left with a few words from a more badass looking Nomoto. I knew he would be dead, but I can only speculate as to what his hybrid might be. Maybe a wolverine? That might make sense, as they might be the only animal that is readily compared to the honey badger.

  
  

  Genres: Action, Science Fiction

  Animation: The not very often seen Liden Films was the studio providing animation here, this is the same group that was behind Arslan Senki, Yamada-kun to 7-nin no Majo, and Terra Formars. I must say that these guys did a pretty good job, quality was above average the entire way through the 12 episode season.

  
  

  Voice Acting: I'm not sure if it's because they want a second season, but this was another category that was surprisingly good. Wataru Hatano played a perfect Nomoto, sounding both very normal and also very weak; but not 'weak' in a bad way, because Notmoto is suppose to be weak for the most part. On the other hand Sora Amamiya was a great source of cocksure winning attitude for Hitomi, though her in-battle voice was kind of tame and lacked the same punch that some of the more forgettable hybrids had.

  
  

  Favorite Character: I'm actually giving this one to the overseer of the battle royal, a woman by the name of Mai. First off she appealed to me on a purely physical basis, having a nice business-woman look to her. Then her personality really shone through when she hosted the event, revealing she is really into the fighting and combat. And thirdly, during the end of the royal, she is shown to be very strong herself and some type of hybrid as she deal with some illegal hybrids that try to kill off the last few contestants. Not sure if she'll be around in the second season, but she wins this season for me.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Killing Bites gets a 6.8 out of 10

  
  

  
  

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  Is It Wrong to Pick Up Slave Girls in a Dungeon?

  2 months ago

  iMacOfDeath

  News

  Once again we return to the 'transported to another world' genre of anime, with the familiar setting of video games leading the charge. Lately this category has been saturated, but not to a tipping point. SAO, Overlord, and Log Horizon all have had their time in the pool, but that doesn't mean we can't still have good content spawn from a protagonist being sent inside a video game. It's a fascinating concept after all, as it inspires us to imagine ourselves being pulled into a world away from our own. Which for many is just the escape from reality we need, even if that escape only lasts 30 minutes a week.

  
  

  This is actually an anime I had been reading the manga for far ahead of time, so my excitement was only tempered by the fact I know anime can often ruin a good manga series with filler content and a reduction of the finer details. For instance the very beginning of the anime differed greatly from the manga, as we learn more of the man outside of the game a whole lot more in the anime than we do in the manga. Speaking of, our main protagonist this time round is a video game programer by the name of Ichirou Suzuki. He's an overall nice guy who works hard and has a thing for older women, he's good at his job but the anime instills just the slightest notion that his job doesn't lack conflict. After a long night working to wrap up the major content of a new video game the company is launching, Ichirou decides to take a nap at his desk and he awakens in the world of another video game his company had already released. At first he thinks this nothing more than a a dream, but after feeling pain from an arrow shot at him from an approaching lizard army he begins to have some doubts.

  
  

  So far everything sounds pretty much run of the mill, but that's when Ichirou, in a panic, uses an extremely overpowered spell he had been asked to add into the game to make it easier for starting players; meteor storm. The spell obliterates the army and the surrounding landscape, and that's when everything changes. The experience from the destruction levels Ichirou, now named Satou, to level 310 with maxed out stats and more skill points than he knows what to do with. On top of that, his inventory was also filled with the weapons, armor, and money from the defeated army. There's even some hinting that his meteor storm may have killed a god, as he has also earned a slew of titles which include "god killer." So yes, in a way this instantly turns our protagonist into an overpowered character. So what's the point? He's gonna be good anything he does now! And that's where you'd be mistake. He has the skill points, yes, but the thing is he only hd three skills to start with. He needs to do something once to earn it as a skill, before he can level it up to the max. On top of this, Satou isn't interested in playing the 'hero', as he takes up the job of a merchant with the goal of exploring this new land he finds himself in.

  
  

  Like any good JRPG there is a starting city, which Satou enters after saving a beautiful mage knight by the name of Zena from a wyvern he accidentally scared off into the company of soldiers she was with. He immediately starts earning new skills and maxing them out, but it's not long until we have reach another major point for Satou. After listening to some exposition about the world Satou now finds himself in, he then decides to stop the stoning of a very adorable trio of slave girls by religious fanatics. It's right around this time a demon shows up and teleports everyone in the vicinity into a vast dungeon it has created. Satou finding himself with the slave girls he protected earlier, he befriends them, gives them groan worthy names, and sets off to find the other humans and escape this dangerous place. The nice thing here is that he takes a backseat in combat, instead focusing on training his newly added companions into monster killing machines. This leads to a one of my favorite scenes where the group takes a rest, and Satou gets to have a cat girl, Tama, and a dog girl, Pochi, cuddles up with him as a lizard girl, Liza, sleeps at his feet. All my want, right there.

  
  

  When the group does eventually meet up with the remainder of the humans, Satou keeps to his plan to not fall or be forced into the job of 'hero'. He dons a disguise and takes out a major demon that shows up, using the god-slaying blade he got from his meteor storm exploits. You see he does actually have a sword titled 'hero's sword', but anytime he attempts to equip it he actually receives damage and is unable to wield it. So not only does he not wish to be the hero, but he can't actually be it until the sword accepts him. After this Satou ends up buying the slave girls legitimately from a slave merchant he befriended, as well as two additional slaves that the merchant hawked off on him. Of course they are also cute girls, Lulu and Arisa, one of whom he confirms is actually like him in that she is from another world; Japan specifically. Some more exposition as well as some hanky panky, that's right, Satou fucks. Not that he does it with any of the slaves he now owns, but we do see him at least twice get his freak on with comfort girls. He actually states that he doesn't want to touch his companions, as that would make him a bad leader. Of course, he still ends up in some ecchi situations with his group. They are all girls afterall.

  
  

  The next part introduces an adorable elf, Misa, that will eventually join Satou's group, but not until he rescues her from being kidnapped by an undead king. He actually picks up two new companions while performing this rescue, the loli elf and a busty homunculus, Nana, that has several identical sisters; all of whom wanted to come with him. Sadly they relent and fight for the right to go with Satou, with the winning sister being the first one he defeated in his effort to reach the kidnapped elf girl. Yeah, this guy is fucking set for life at this point. He's rich, has a good personality, is intelligent and tactful, is powerful, and is more or less forming a harem at this point. Makes you wonder why he'd want to leave, ever, but his quest to learn more about how he came to be in the video game has not ended. We get some hints that this new world may somehow be related to a shrine priestess he once knew, but aside from that, we don't really get much.

  
  

  The anime wraps up on what feels like a side quest to deal with an asshole politician, though Satou does end up learning more about alchemy and how to craft potions and the like. Satou even points out that the world's magic is very much like computer language, and that this will allow him to mess with the magic to suit his everyday needs with some assistance from the loli elf as he still can't cast magic spells yet. Like being able to read and write a language, but not speak it. This is actually just a step or two away from where the manga is at this point, so it was a good stopping point for anyone who wants to have the manga stay fresh for them. Overall I was satisfied with how closely that stuck to the manga's version, even with the addition of that backstory at the beginning that didn't really do much for me. Yeah, this was a pretty good series. I look forward to more, even if it only comes from the manga.

  
  

  Genres: Fantasy, Harem

  
  

  Animation: A studio I have had mostly positive reception with, Silver Link had this one in their animating court. This is the same studio behind the animation of Masamune-kun's Revenge, Rakudai Kishi no Eiyuutan, and No-Rin. Sadly some of the battles relied upon CG to get through, of which was handled by another studio by the name of Connect, so I can't say I was thrilled about that. I will say however that the eyes on the characters, the fucking eyes man, god damn they did it for me. Just, there's something about doe eyed women that really works for me. Mmm.

  
  

  Voice Acting: Good choices all around that fit the roles they played, one of the best choices being Minami Tsuda as Liza. A sort of military-esque tone with an under-layer of adorable, she really did Liza's character right.

  
  

  Favorite Character: There's a lot of girls to pick from, but I'm going to give this one to Liza. No she's not yandere, no she's not a MILF, and no she isn't perverted. Liza is a lizard-human hybrid slave girl that Satou befriends in the demon's dungeon, she quickly warms up to him as her new master as he treats her with respect, feeds her delicious meat, and makes her happy enough that it shows in her tail. Outside of her spurts of happiness, she is mostly a yes sir no sir kind of follower. Not to say she is deadpan, but she doesn't show much emotion on her face; instead it shows in her tail that Satou often points out to us. No, what really has her winning this place is the potential. I had thought at first this was just me, but the anime confirms that Liza sees Satou as more than just a master. I'm pretty sure she loves him, and if she were to just ask, I can actually see Satou agreeing to sleep with her. In fact, I'm actually hoping she goes into heat and Satou needs to help her. Because, you know, he's not going to let one of his harem girls suffer.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody gets a 7.9 out of 10

  
  

  
  

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  A Massively Effective Failure

  2 months ago

  iMacOfDeath

  News

  Mass Effect: Andromeda. Now here's a game I swore I would never play, a game that essentially killed a series I had actually invested brain power in to create multiple spreadsheets dedicated to my decisions in the games. A game that originally had me hopeful when it was first announced with that cool Ghost Riders trailer, but then kept dashing my hopes against the wall with a plethora of biotically charged blasts of disappointing news. Eventually I gave up and simply walked away, knowing that Mass Effect would never again be that magical series it once was. And then, one late night in a Game Stop, I noticed a copy of the game, used, for five bucks. I knew that buying it used would mean EA wouldn't see a dime of my money, and the price cut was just too attractive an offer to pass up. Thus it came to be that I played Andromeda, and oh boy, did it confirm my worries.

  
  

  Straight off the bat I could feel the pain coming, as I spent hour attempting to make a somewhat not-ugly male Ryder, my choice of protagonist for my play-through. I gave up on this and had to use a guide, a guide that I kid you not was called "how to make a less ugly Ryder". It should just go to tell you that when you need a guide to make your character appear somewhat presentable on screen, you're not in for a good time. Satisfied with my character, I then used another guide for my sister's character. This was a nice touch, reminiscent of Fallout 4's option to design your wife, though it comes to feel like a waste of time as you almost never see your twin besides at the beginning and end of the game. A major lie on EA's part, who claimed your sister would be running around the galaxy at the same time as you. What utter bullshit.

  
  

  After regaining my Mass Effect legs, I actually found something not utterly toss. The gameplay. Oh sure it was buggy as hell, as my character got stuck in rocks, enemies spawned within one another and other various objects in the environment preventing you from progressing, and I saw my game soft-lock 15 times over the course of my play-through. That's 15 more times than in any of the previous Mass Effect games, combined. But when it did work, the firefights where you fought waves of enemies intertwined with larger enemies, they were fun. You get to jet pack around and punch enemies in the face, or hover in the air and gun them down while they simply try to hide behind cover... without moving... never mind, the gameplay was also shite. Even on the hardest difficulty, the game just throws more enemies at you with more health. Meaning you'll find yourself managing ammo supplies and constantly reviving your AI teammates as they don't ever stop being aggressive, launching themselves into the fray of battle where they get downed after a couple hits.

  
  

  So how about that story? At least that has to be good, right? WRONG! The story feels like a leftover idea that someone had originally proposed, was shot down, but then resurrected when they couldn't come up with anything better. You got collector knockoffs called the 'Ket' attempting to turn the local population of Andromeda into more knockoffs, because they have apparently lost the ability to fuck. I'd be pissed too, but I think I'd focus more on getting that ability back than injecting my DNA into aliens. But that's just me. However their leader that was tasked with this got obsessed with the power of the 'Remnants', Andromeda's version of Protheans combine with Reapers and Geth. Basically he wanted an easy way to turn everyone into a Ket instead of doing it the old fashioned way, however this interferes with your character's mission. As none of the "golden worlds" were good to go by the time you get to Andromeda, due to this massive spiderweb of dark energy dubbed 'the scourge', your character is tasked with jump starting Remnant technology that makes the worlds viable for life. Kind of like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Total Recall, except with a fuck ton less hot aliens to bone.

  
  

  What's more is that a grand total of four or five decisions you make have a lasting effect in the end game, and this is coming from a series that saw every major decision you make have a part not just in the final sequence but also throughout the game. Yet here you see that most of the side mission decisions have zero meaning, and no effect on your character's personality. Andrmoeda did away with the Karma system, so go ahead, be an asshole one moment and a nice guy the next, because nothing you do will change the fact your teammates will still respect you and you will still come to be herald as a hero. You can't even lose teammates in this entry into the Mass Effect series! There is no impact! Nothing! At one point you recover enough information to learn that Earth got fucked by Reapers, and yet Ryder has zero reaction. It's not even a cut scene! Just a small recording that you listen to, and Ryder just stares blankly at the screen. I get you face is tired, but for gods sake man! Show some life! The Milky Way as you know it might very well be gone! Ugh!

  
  

  Quickly, let's list off my other grievances. All your teammates are unattractive in both appearance and personality, and all of them are blended-together clones of better characters from the previous entires into the series. The previous games and their outcome have no effect here, there is no data transfer and no way to import your final choices from before. No Quarians, and to that effect, no Quarian DLC. The fuckers at EA saw fit to scrap that DLC and turn it into a book, because of how much a failure Andromeda was. So all the other Milky Way races you loved from the series, you'll never get to see. And of course, this is the final entry into the Mass Effect series. EA is done with Mass Effect, probably done with single player gameplay in general, so this brown note is how we leave the beloved Mass Effect series. And it hurts to see it go like that, it really does.

  
  

  And while an EA produced Mass Effect is not possible anymore, BioWare could still fix things but jumping off the EA ship to make a proper sequel. Given the fact they must see the darkness within the serial killer of game developers, BioWare has to know that unless they tell EA to go fuck themselves and make a swift exit, they too will live to see their studio fall prey to EA's usual shtick. So it's possible that BioWare could come together again and produce an apology for Andromeda, and here's how they can do it: Retcon all of Andromeda, pull a Miles and Kerry and just shrug off any lore from Andromeda and any story. Make playing as a different race a standard option, playing as a human for a fourth time in a fucking row has worn out its welcome. Instead, we need an 'Origins' touch. You can choose from the main staple races at the start and customize your character, each race and background having a different beginning much like in Dragon Age: Origins. No randomization, cut that shit out. From the get go Andromeda was a bad idea as it had originally been planned to be totally random, you can't control random, meaning you can't control its quality. Everything will be planned out, everything will be placed. If The Witcher 3 could do it, so can you. And there's no need for some central enemy that all the races can rally to fight, we had that already with the Reapers. Give us factions, at least a dozen new alien races, each race requiring you to earn their trust. No scourge, no Ket, no Remnants, no grandiose villain. Instead focus on making allies in this new galaxy, as you learn that the "golden worlds" are actually inhabited already. I'm not saying there shouldn't be a potential threat looming over the horizon, but don't try to jump straight into it. Remember, the first Reaper didn't show up until the very end of ME1.

  
  

  You see, it's totally possible to turn Mass Effect around. You just need to dedicate more than your C-team and a few months of 24 hours of round-the-clock work to creating it, and you most certainly need to do it without EA. Because fuck EA.

  
  

  Mass Effect: Andromeda gets a 4.0 out of 10

  
  

  
  

  +1 Cool

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