kaziflshfyre

Female
from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

    • kaziflshfyre

      Hello again

      3 months ago

      So it's been a while since I posted a journal. Update on life: I've finished my first semester of college. I only had two exams, and I failed math spectacularly. I also didn't get a high enough mark in bio to get into my program (after all this upgrading that is) so I have to take both classes again. I don't really mind retaking bio. The teacher is amazing, and I love bio. Math on the other hand...
      In grade 10 I was diagnosed with a learning disability. At the time I was put into a program for students like myself and we had one on one help with the subjects we had trouble with. It was great. I got daily help with all of my math work, and as a result I did really well in my classes. Part of these accommodations was double the amount of time on math, chemistry, and physics exams, even finals. Also very helpful, as it takes me quite a bit longer to get through math questions than most people.
      Fast forward to college. I still get double time on my exams, but I don't get help with my homework and such. Tutors are fine and all, but when I'm placed with a tutor who isn't trained/educated in helping students with disabilities the tutor just gets frustrated with me because they don't understand why I don't understand this grade 10 level math.
      There are, of course, a number of factors that contribute to my irritating inability to comprehend basic math. One of them is the severity of my learning disorder. Another is that I was in French immersion from kindergarten to grade 11. I learned math and science in French. Terms are different, and often times we actually did some things in a different order (backwards, almost). Mix this in with someone who quickly begins to realize that I am, in fact, pretending to understand so that they don't yell at me because I don't understand, and you've got a mess.
      I'm going to try to go see the student services head person tomorrow to see what can be done. A normal tutor won't work. Even my boyfriend, who I know loves me and has been amazing throughout all of this (and who is also a mathematical genius), gets frustrated with me almost immediately when I ask him for help with my math.
      It's been a long few weeks because of this. Lots of stress. I've also had all my other obligations going on. Kid's Night Out, Youth Night Out, Cultivate, work, church on Sundays, and whatever my parents' think I should be doing. I'm currently waiting for my dad to throw six phone bills at me and demand that I pay them, which I won't be able to do. I'm still on the family plan because it's cheaper, but my dad doesn't tell me when the phone bills arrive, never mind how much I owe him. He just hoards them for six months or so and then complains because I haven't paid any of them. I've even told him flat out that I've been waiting for them each month and he never gives them to me. I probably owe him like 2000$ right now and don't even known it. *sigh*
      Oh well. I've whined enough for the moment. I've got youth starting in a couple of hours and it's event night, so I should probably go find something productive to do.

      Hope you're all doing superbly!

      Anne

    • kaziflshfyre

      Daylight savings? More like daylight shaving hours off my sleep schedule, am I r

      4 months ago

      So it hasn't been an amazing couple of weeks here. On Friday I managed to sleep in and miss my math class. On Monday I managed to sleep in, miss my biol lab, my math class, and the bus that would have gotten me to my biol class on time. Tuesday I barely caught the bus, made it to my math unit final, promptly failed said unit final, and then wrote my biol exam, which I barely passed with a 53%. Until now I've been getting solid 85% on everything in biol, so I'm pretty upset with myself right now.
      On the up side, my boyfriend was home this past weekend. I haven't seen him since reading week, and it was sooooo good to see him again. Long distance relationships are seriously frustrating.
      Anyway, I just wanted to check in. I know nobody actually says anything to me most of the time, but there's something really satisfying about writing things down here...I'm sure I'll have more to say next time.

      Hope everyone's doing well,

      Anne

    • kaziflshfyre

      Reading week blues

      5 months ago

      Reading week is over. I was really enjoying the break from classes, and especially enjoying having my boyfriend home all week. I didn't get to see him as much as I wanted to, as I still had youth events and had to go to the gym a few times, but I wish he could have stayed longer. I can't wait to finish all my upgrading at the local college so that I can go up to Edmonton and live with him.
      Anyway, despite having no school this week it was still pretty busy. February is birthday month in my family. My cousin and me are both on the sixth, another cousin on the eighth, my sister's on the thirteenth, my mom's on the sixteenth, and my grandma's on the twenty sixth. So on Monday we had a big family dinner (though I spent a lot of it playing Guild Wars 2- I FINISHED THE EPISODE AND I ALMOST CRIED). Tuesday, as always, was a gym day. Wednesday I had youth, as usual. Thursday was going to be a gym day, but I went and did archery with Andrew and his cousins instead. I've really missed archery. I wish I lived on a property big enough that I could do it at home. Friday was an adventure and a half. We had a sleepover at the church for the youth. It was a lot of fun! We took them skating, came back and watched Big Hero 6, and then played sardines for a good hour and a half. I had the best hiding spot by far. There's a baptismal font hidden under a large trap door in the stage in the sanctuary, and I had one of the other leaders help me pry it open so I could hide there. Only two of the youth managed to find me, though a bunch of them figured out where I was (they just couldn't get in).
      The only thing that really sucked this week (apart from not seeing my boyfriend enough) was yesterday. I didn't sleep well at the sleepover. We got everyone settled down around 1 a.m. but all the girls were sleeping in the sanctuary, which meant that I was sleeping on the floor. I tried to find a sleeping mat to take with me before I left the house, but apparently they're all in the attic, and I didn't have time to go up and find one. So I got maybe three hours of sleep? It might have been more, but I not much more. After all the kids went home I finally got to leave, but I had to go straight to work. I was okay when I left the house, but as soon as I got to the mall I started to feel a little queasy on top of feeling exhausted. My eyes hurt, but my stomach felt absolutely terrible. It continued throughout my entire eight hour shift, only subsiding when I went and got some peppermint and chamomile tea, but as soon as the tea was gone the queasiness came back. I wracked my tired brain for what could have caused this, but I didn't manage to figure it out until I got home after work.
      I didn't take my meds at the sleepover. I've never suffered side effects from any medication in my life except one of the two I'm on right now. Every time the dose changes or I forget to take it, this medication messes with my stomach. It usually just screws with my appetite, making me feel like food is disgusting even if I'm starving. About a year ago this med's dose was upped and I haven't missed taking it since then until Friday, so the effects were that much more powerful once my body realized those levels weren't what they were usually at. It was really frustrating.
      That's all I really wanted to say for now, I guess. I'm still pretty exhausted, so I'm heading to sleep.

      Farewell, friends. I hope everything is going well for you where ever you are! <3
      Anne

    • kaziflshfyre

      That was a thing

      5 months ago

      Well today has been an experience!
      Every Wednesday I have youth group with my church, and I'm now a leader there. Last month we changed things up a lot and split up the junior highs and the senior highs so that they attend on different nights, and now I work with the juniors. It's pretty frustrating at times, but I've enjoyed it so far.
      One of the biggest things I find difficult about working with the juniors is the general lack of respect for everything and everyone. During the games, the kids don't listen, and some of them actively sit out. During the lessons there are maybe three or four who listen. During skits (in which their peers are acting) they make fun of and bug each other. A couple of weeks ago we actually caught a few of them smoking pot out back (really guys? At your church youth group?) which was seriously concerning as well as frustrating. But overall it's been a bit of an uphill battle that kind of came to a head tonight.
      My awesome friend J has recently taken over running the SRC (that's our group's name) from his older brother, and so far has done a fantastic job. Now, J's one of the most patient people I've ever met, but tonight, after nearly two months of bad attitudes and disrespect from the juniors, even he snapped a little bit. He straight up called them out on the mics and told them that they needed to stop disrespecting each other and the leaders who were trying to talk. They listened for a few minutes and then went right back to it. After that we broke into smaller groups for the lesson. Usually we all stick together, but since that hasn't been working well we're trying a few other ideas out. I went with one of the other leaders with a group of six boys, two of whom we'd caught smoking, one of whom has some...difficulties with boundaries and attention, and another whom really does like coming to youth and learning but struggles with how the others see him.
      Things didn't start out well. Almost immediately C and R were muttering to each other. Q was fidgeting and asking unrelated questions. V was echoing the other leader unnecessarily, and CW and MH were being great (but those two usually are).
      Anyway, the other leader and I tried to go ahead with the lesson despite these interruptions but it was difficult. We tried involving the boys as much as we could, but most of them just wanted to get back to their friends or head out for another smoke. My co-leader stopped the conversation at one point and basically echoed J. He asked the boys to stop disrespecting each other and listen. Unsurprisingly this had little to no effect.
      I sat there for a few more minutes, helping MT with the lesson where I could when Q, C, R, and V started arguing. It was small, but it was enough that I was done with it. MT tried taking control to no avail, so I pulled out a half decently loud voice and said "Alright stop! Every single one of you, eyes on me NOW!"
      Silence. Blissful, beautiful silence. Seven pairs of wide eyes stared at me as I expressed my frustration with the lack of general respect towards all the SRC leaders and myself, as well as towards the rest of the kids in the youth group. To be honest, I kind of ripped them a new one. I felt bad doing it to CW and MH, as they were not part of the problem, but the others all needed to hear it, and for once they were actually listening. It was a welcome change, though I do wish I hadn't been so harsh. Once I finished talking everyone was silent for a moment, and MT managed to get the lesson going again. It was the same lesson as before, but (most of) the boys were taking it more seriously. The entire conversation got surprisingly intense, despite our attempts to lighten it again.
      I was worried for a bit that I had crossed a line in snapping at the group, but when some of the boys started opening up a bit more I thought that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.
      In the end we managed to not only get through our lesson, we learned a lot about some of the kids we've been watching with concern for the last month and a half. MT was able to take C,V, and R, aside afterwards and speak to them more in private, which was great. It's really difficult for some of these kids to let anyone in, especially a leader they only see once a week, but the fact that these guys did is amazing. I can't help but think that God is so good. After weeks of trying we finally got through to some of these youth, and can start helping them more!
      I'm super excited for what next week will bring!!

      Sorry for the super long post, I just wanted to tell the story somewhere!
      I hope everyone's having a good night!

      Anne

    • kaziflshfyre

      Writing!

      5 months ago

      So I've been struck by the writing bug again this weekend! A few months ago my mind gave birth to the infancy of a novel. I've had ideas for stories in the past, but never something of this magnitude. I'm talking plot line, characters and their motivations, maps, city names, history, myths, creatures...I've never put so much into an idea before. I've come close, but I lost the notebook all that was in and I haven't found it yet...
      Anyway, I had a lot of spare time at my old job and spent a few days writing everything out and I've spent the last hour(ish) typing a bunch of it onto my laptop, and it's all coming back again! I can't wait to get this plot moving again (I got a little caught up in the history of the country and its inhabitants, haha) and bring some flesh and blood to this baby!
      I'm just so excited! I had to share it! If I ever get this published, I'd really like to mention Monty in my thank yous because he really has been such an inspiration to me.

      And in other news, it was my birthday on Friday! My amazing boyfriend bought me a new iPod =)

      Hope everyone's doing well!
      Anne

    • kaziflshfyre

      Moving forward forward forward

      5 months ago

      Forward forward forward has become a bit of a mantra for some of us, I think, but it's working. I've been mentally chanting it to myself since Monday. There's no point in moving backwards. I want to learn to dance, so I need to move forward. I need to work at it, or I won't accomplish it. I want to run a Spartan race, so I need to run forward. I want to become a better artist, writer, and musician, so I need to go forward. Forward forward forward.
      And I'm going to finish my RWBY au fic. For Monty.
      Forward forward forward.

    • kaziflshfyre

      #CreativeForMonty

      5 months ago

      For anyone who doesn't know, some of the RT family on Tumblr have created a hashtag for all the creative things that people make for or inspired by Monty Oum. It will be used on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr...pretty much anywhere that has hashtags. Feel free to use it. Your work doesn't have to be RT related. Just be creative. I think he'd like that.
      #CreativeForMonty

    • kaziflshfyre

      Monty Oum

      5 months ago

      Yesterday one of my artistic role models passed away. Monty Oum was such an amazingly talented man, who never ceased to amaze me. His gift for art, animation, and inspiration has been a blessing in my life, and I know the Rooster Teeth family will miss him dearly. I never truly realized just how important animation, videos, drawings, and fictional worlds were to me until getting into Red vs Blue and RWBY. Since first discovering Rooster Teeth five or six years ago I've fallen in love with just about everything they do, but the things that I always remember loving first were the animated fight scenes in RvB. They stuck out to me and drew me in to a badass character named Tex, and what I find to be a gripping storyline, and most of all, the talented work of Monty Oum. Those scenes sparked an interest in expanding my artistic abilities beyond music and writing. I wanted to draw, and paint, and most of all animate. While I pursued some of these things, my discovery of making music and my love for it put all those other arts on hold for a while. But when I saw the Red Trailer for RWBY come out at the end of a season finale for RvB my curiosity was piqued again, and I found myself drawn in once more by the gift that was Monty Oum. Since RWBY's trailers started premièring one by one I've rediscovered my longing to animate, and to create fictional worlds for other people to fall in love with the same way I did.
      I never knew Monty. I never got the chance to meet him, though I had hoped to one day. He put his heart into so much, and he shared it with us. The world has lost an amazing person, but I know he won't be forgotten. His work is inspirational, and just seeing how the Rooster Teeth family has reacted and how they are pulling together in this time of grief is amazing. Somehow I just know that Monty has awoken that same inspiration, that same love of creation, and art, and animating, in hundreds of people like me, and that we won't let his work go unnoticed. We won't let him be forgotten. But we should keep moving forward, because he would want us to. Keep living, and breathing, and creating. Keep dancing, and writing, and drawing. Keep animating, keep acting, keep sharing your talents and gifts with those around you. He would want that, I think. He clearly loved the Rooster Teeth family.

      My prayers go out to his family and friends, who will feel his absence the most.
      "The chapter closed, but love has no end." -Forever, Jeff Williams
      "For it is in passing that we achieve immortality." -Pyrrha Nikos, RWBy

      RIP Monty. We'll miss you <3

    • kaziflshfyre

      Eat, study, work out, sleep, repeat

      6 months ago

      So I set a goal for myself this year. (Okay, I actually set like ten. I'm just talking about one specifically right now.)
      I want to run a Spartan Race.
      Spartan Races are kind of like obstacle course races, only the shortest is 14km (I'm pretty sure, can't remember off the top of my head) and the obstacles can be anything from jumping over a fire, to climbing a structure of some sort, to wallowing in mud as you crawl under rows of barbed wire. All in all it sounds like an adventure and a half, and this year I'm going to run one.
      I'm not really sure why I chose to do this to myself. I mean, the free tshirt and medal you get when you complete a Spartan Race are definitely a bonus, but barbed wire? mud wallowing? 14km? Looks like I've got quite the journey ahead!
      There are three levels of Spartan Race (that I know about, anyway). Sprint, Super, and Beast. (Definitely hit the wrong button there and accidentally typed 'breast'. whoops.) I'm only planning on doing the Sprint this year, but I'd love to run all three some time.
      So anyway, I started training this week. Now, I haven't worked out in, like, six months, and on Sunday I forced myself to do two of my usual workouts. I was actually completely fine for the first one, and only a little less so for the second. Monday morning when I woke up was a different story, and I silently cursed the absence of my boyfriend's hot tub. I went through my classes and then off to bible study, for some reason wearing high heeled boots the whole day, and then promptly came home and passed out. This morning when I awoke my legs were so stiff I could barely stand, but after missing my bus I forced myself up and somehow made it to my math exam anyway. Today I had more sense and wore far more comfortable shoes, but thanks to yesterday's heels my feet were killing me regardless. By the time I made it home I had made up my mind that there was no way I was going to the gym today, but an hour and a half later I found myself standing on the side of the running track and stretching. I wasn't able to do as much today, but surprisingly my muscles aren't nearly as sore as they were this morning! I can't wait for my workout on Thursday. It feels SO. GOOD. to be exercising again (even if the Spartan Race remains intimidating).
      Alright. I'm off now. I need to continue wolfing down copious amounts of food I keep telling myself is healthy and then pass out.
      That's one thing gym teachers never told me. When you exercise, your metabolism shoots right up, and for someone with an already insane metabolism, it's a bit of a struggle to keep up! Oh well.
      Have a good night, friends! And remember: There is a line between what is weird and what is beautiful, and it is covered in jellyfish.
      Goodnight, Night Vale.
      Goodnight.
      Anne =D

    • kaziflshfyre

      Hello 2015

      6 months ago

      ...and hello RT friends! It's been a while, and I figured I'd update anyone who's interested on my life a little bit! A lot has changed in the last couple of years, but I'm finally at a point where I feel like I'm doing something with my life!
      I'll start off by saying that I celebrated two and a half years with my boyfriend this Christmas, and while it's been a bumpy road at times I'm happier than ever with him! Right now he's off to school again (silly engineering program) so he's not living at home for the moment, but hopefully he'll get a job for his next co op term here in the city and it will only be for four months!
      I have FINALLY joined the ranks of countless college students! My classes started on January 5th, and I'm starting week two bright and early tomorrow with an 8am bio lab. I'm taking two classes at the moment, math and bio. Sadly I'm just upgrading right now, and will be doing so for the next three semesters before going into biological sciences for a year and then entering the zoology program.
      Apart from school I'm working a really great job at the guest services desk in the (only) good mall in town. Initially I was contracted just for the month of December, but a couple of days after my contract ended they asked me if I'd be willing to go back and work a couple shifts a week around my schooling. I was super excited and of course said yes immediately!
      And when I'm not a school or work, I'm still super active with my church! I'm finishing up my role as the Kid's Night Out media team leader this year, and will (hopefully) begin training someone to take my place next September. I'm also officially a youth leader for the junior youth group on Wednesdays, and I'm continuing my role as a worship leader for the senior youth on Tuesdays. I'm hoping to get in to the choir on Sundays as well, but I don't want to overburden myself so I'm waiting to see how school goes first.
      Other than that there isn't too much going on. I'm getting a little more in touch with my creative side again. Mainly writing, but also drawing and knitting/crocheting. My grandparents moved into our city recently and my grandma said she'd help me make a new quilt for my bed. It's going to be quite the project, I think, because I'd love to have a queen sized quilt with the summer constellations from Kalamalka Lake on it. Like I said, lots of work. Hopefully we'll be able to do it though!

      Anyway, that's my update. What's going on in your life? Any goals for 2015? Did you see any cute cats recently? Let me know, I'd love to hear from some of you!!

      Stay classy, friends!
      Anne

  • Comments (5)

    • kaziflshfyre

      kaziflshfyre

      3 years ago

      Hello. I'm Anne. I'm doing quite well at the moment. And yourself?

    • megamind3003

      megamind3003

      3 years ago

      Hi there. My name is Jarrett. How are you? smiley0.gif

    • Jimboman15

      Jimboman15

      3 years ago

      hey

    • llamaworm

      llamaworm

      4 years ago

      Llama :)

    • girl1010

      girl1010

      4 years ago

      heres a tip : add people that are funny k and sh*tlike that so good luck ! : )