I still have to upload photos from RTX and write a journal for the time I spent there, but right now all I can say is that I wish that small event never came to an end. It may be silly to say, but volunteering at that event and just being there in that bubble of camaraderie and purpose was not only stressful, but strangely fulfilling. It didn't destroy my concerns about RT and its stance with the community, although those were assuaged at the end of our duty a bit, and the glow of the experience kept things pleasant for a while. I had a team, I had more common ground with friends I had already made from Sidequest and last year, but now that feeling has slipped away. I had a semblance of that thing called faith.
I miss it. I miss seeing everyone in those blasted yellow Griff shirts, I miss feeling like a part of something better than just my pathetic self that wasn't just for dollars or baubles. I miss feeling satisfaction after working and not hating what I was doing with that precious resource time. I miss meeting strangers who were not dicks and actually meant it when they asked how your day was going. I miss being genuinely thanked for helping, for being present at all. I miss getting folks riled up or excited when staff came to sign and take photos with fans and members of the community. I miss getting folks to actually chuckle or smile at my stupid jokes or attempts at banter. I miss feeling like I actually fucking mattered towards something, towards some people.
The carnival came and all was joyous and gay until it was packed up and everyone went their separate ways. I long for it to return, with the lights and the sounds of some other world, but that's not how it works. No matter how much I wish.
Promise to write a proper journal and tag everyone I can. Just tired, feeling like shite, and needed to just write something besides words of anxiety or worry.
Comments (13)
drew Duckster
1 year ago
New Friends! :D
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LadyOddDuck
2 years ago
Happy Valentine's Day!
+1 Cool
lain246 Sponsor.
2 years ago
<3 Thank you
+1 Cool
Desayjin RTX Guardian Emeritus
2 years ago
Hey Thom! I have a user asking questions about experiences with the VIP badge for RTX. Would you mind jumping onto the RTX 2016 forum (Questions thread) and sharing your experience with him? Thanks!
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lain246 Sponsor.
2 years ago
;_; I just saw this. The game of catch up will be done soon now that life is getting back to normal around here.
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xcalante Sentry The Defiant
2 years ago
Hey thanks for the add! Did we meet at RTX?
+1 Cool
xcalante Sentry The Defiant
2 years ago
OH MAN WE TOTALLY DID!!! DUDE!!! HOW ARE YOU?!?! =D
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xcalante Sentry The Defiant
2 years ago
OH MAN WE TOTALLY DID!!! DUDE!!! HOW ARE YOU?!?! =D
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lain246 Sponsor.
2 years ago
and I just noticed this comment >_< I feel like a jerk now! Sorry man, I've been okay. A bit miffed about some of the stuff going with RT and the community, but alright otherwise. Trying to move at some point this year. How about you? Doing okay?
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Dopp ROLL TIDE
2 years ago
So how was RTX?
+1 Cool
lain246 Sponsor.
2 years ago
Ugh so late for a response T_T SORRY! In short, it was great. As I mentioned last night, nervous in some situations, but still a good experience. Seriously, I should have bloody asked you about all that before heading down to Texas xD but maybe next year? Assuming things go well of course
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StryfeRyder
4 years ago
Cool meeting you at PAX, hope you get a little more into the site
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lain246 Sponsor.
4 years ago
It was a pleasure, man =) I'll be trying. Unfortunately work sort of killed me right after the convention. I was able to meet some of the folks at the booth. It was awesome =)
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