9 years ago
As you can see i purged my friends list of about 500 deadweight, if by some terrible chance i deleated you and you think this is a mistake, be sure to comment on this journal and say why.
Heres a funny read i totally stole from some guy:
What Halo 3 Should Have
-Doom 3 Chainsaw
- Oblivion Unicorn
- More Earth Levels(looking at it, there will be 90% earth levels)
- Power metal/death metal soundtrack
- Shotgun Missfire that will either kill yourself or shoot mushrooms
- More gore. Kill humans. Real red blood.
- Johnson either dies or STFU(come on. He was cool in Halo:CE. They gave him too much of a point in H2)
- Flying pink pony of d34th
- Hot Coffee mod with a grunt and flood fuck.
- Mike Patton do they voice of a marine
- Kevin Bacon as a playable character
- Halo 3 will need to be a horror genre game.
- Captain Keyes as a flood, but then learns the meaning of Christmas and sacrafices himself to save the Unicorn
- An actual storyline and still goor mutliplayer
- See MC's face, and turns out hes arab
- Mix Starwars ands Halo, with some scenes from Snakes on a Plane
- Dual weild stop signs
- Better weapons, like LOTR swords
- the One ring
- Llama buttsecks
And now for a funny final fantasy (A+)
Final fantasy A+
9 years ago
"Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all . . . with nasty big pointy teeth!"
King Arthur: [W]hat are you then?
French Soldier: I'm French. Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king.
Sir Galahad: What are you doing in England?
French Soldier: Mind your own business.
French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig-dog! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person. I blow my nose on you, so-called Arthur-king, you and your silly English kiniggets.
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.
Soldier: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: You were, Sir Galahad. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous
9 years ago
Guess i'm back.
To mark my
greatreturn i give you all the gift of hentai!
i like hentai
This is the story of little monica ( little monica is a place, you sick fuck!)
Google sucks when it comes to finding little monica pictures!
The war is far from over, what small pictures you have!
Little monica is a two part series (i think) which i think is great.
Part 1 NSFW
PLEASE NOTE: This is uncensored hentai,has a few loli parts (again: i think) This is almost 1 hour of uncensored hentai (with a good storyline)
And remember to chage the file extention from .KXV & .KXR to .RAR (DO THIS AFTER YOU'VE DOWNLOADED IT, ITS VERY IMPORTANT!)
Enjoy, my friends.
PLEASE NOTE AGAIN: This is a direct download, you need not use BitTorrent!
Y'all want a single, say fuck that!
LAST NOTE: I killed the one, he drowned in a pool of his own blood cursing my name........
Whats going on?
To the moderators: if this is too bad, please tell me and i will have it "taken" care of.
....or have some credits transfered into your account.....
10 years ago
1. Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone
2. Confucius say, man who do business in whore house get jerked around
3. Confucius say, baseball wrong. Man with four balls not able to walk
4. Confucius say, panties not best thing on earth, but next to it
5. Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left
6. Confucius say, woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
7. Confucius say, man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
8. Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it
9. Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants
10. Confucius say, if you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient
11. Confucius say, passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly
12. Confucius say, better to be pissed off than pissed on
13. Confucius say, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long
14. Confucius say, couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week
15. Confucius say, woman who go camping must beware of evil intent
16. Confucius say, squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts
17. Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired
18. Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted
19. Confucius say, man with tool in woman's mouth not necessarily dentist
20. Confucius say, man who make love on side of hill not on level
21. Confucius say, sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel
22. Confucius say, man with tight trousers is pressing his luck
23. Confucius say, man who stand on toilet high on pot
24. Confucius say, man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy
25. Confucius say, man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts
26. Confucius say, man who sleep in bed of nails is holy
27. Confucius say, do not drink and park, accidents cause people
28. Confucius say, man who put pea in soup very unclean
29. Confucius say, man who run through airport turnstile backward going to Bangkok
30. Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand
31. Confucius say, man who fishes in another woman's well, often catches crab
32. Confucius say, to meet girl in park is good, but to park meat in girl is better
33. Confucius say, squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts
34. Confucius say, butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders
35. Confucius say, man who live in glass house, should change in basement
36. Confucius say, man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face
37. Confucius say, man with big mouth beware of foot
38. Confucius say, man who fart in church, sit in own pew
39. Confucius say, woman who fly upside down have crack up
40. Confucius say, man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion
41. Confucius say, man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic
42. Confucius say, house without bathroom is uncanny
43. Confucius say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
44. Confucius say, man who sits on stool smells like shit
45. Confucius say, man who throws dirt is losing ground
46. Confucius say, woman who go to man's apartment for snack, get titbit
47. Confucius say, man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth
48. Confucius say, man who get kicked in testicles, left holding the bag
49. Confucius say, man who kisses girl's behind, get crack in face
50. Confucius say, girl who ride bicycle, peddle ass all over town
51. Confucius say, man with penis in peanut butter jar, fucking nuts
52. Confucius say, man who buy drowned cat, get wet pussy
53. Confucius say, man trapped in pantry, have ass in jam
54. Confucius say, learn to masturbate - come in handy
55. Confucius say, girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip
56. Confucius say, girl who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge
57. Confucius say, waitress who sit on lepper's lap, keep tip
58. Confucius say, man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose
59. Confucius say, cow with no legs, ground beef
60. Confucius say, two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn
61. Confucius say, baby born in car with automatic transmission, grow to become shiftless bastard
62. Confucius say, finding old man in dark, not hard
63. Confucius say, man who smoke pot, choke on handle
64. Confucius say, OK for shit to happen - will decompose
65. Confucius say, man with head on railroad track, listening for train to come, get splitting headache
66. Confucius say, man who sneeze without tissue take matter into own hands
67. Confucius say, secretary become permanent fixture, when screwed on desk
68. Confucius say, man who drive like hell, bound to get there
69. Confucius say, man who sit on tack, get point
70. Confucius say, man who put cream in tart, not always baker
71. Confucius say, woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring
72. Confucius say, sex on beach like American beer - fucking near water
73. Confucius say, man who masturbate, only screwing himself
74. Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom
75. Confucius say, support bacteria - is only culture some people have
76. Confucius say, man with athletic finger, make broad jump
77. Confucius say, man who sit on upturned tack, rise above all
78. Confucius say, wash face in morning, neck at night
79. Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke
80. Confucius say, man who sleep with old hen, find it better than pullet
81. Confucius say, man piss in wind, wind piss back
82. Confucius say, man who eat pussy, do lip service
83. Confucius say, girl who marry detective, like to kiss dick
84. Confucius say, men may have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole, women have more
85. Confucius say, woman wearing G-string, high on crack
86. Confucius say, virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick
87. Confucius say, man who pull woman's bra strap, may get bust in face
continued in comments......
10 years ago
Before i start this journal i must stress this point: I WAS HIGH ON DOPE!
Nazi Germany in fact won the second world war, "wtf?" i hear you say?
Read on for a tale of a stoned anime nut...........
I had been assigned to a Mercenary squad as a journalist , my job was to report back to my commanding officer on the upcoming "conflict".
This conflict shall be called "world war 2.0".
Our story starts at a local japanese high school, a school most of you know quite well.
Everybody knows that Osaka is a bit "strange?".
Heres the deal: Osaka had just learned a slightly insane version of world war two (partly due to tomo i think) and had decided to go back in time to change history.
( i dont know how osaka traveled back in time, so sue me)
Lets face it: Osaka is a badass, she alone managed to infiltrate nazi high command.
What follows is an un-edited picture dating back from world war two, THIS PICTURE IS NOT A FAKE!
As you can see this is a chilling image of Osaka with Hitler.
Osaka being the tactical genius she is, quickly rose through the ranks of the nazi high command.
Here is another photo of Osaka posing during a nazi rally:
Many of the nazi victories can in fact be credited to Osaka.
Osaka really screwed with the history of world war two......which is why the Mercenary squad was sent in to stop her.
The plan was simple: Use the soul cube on osaka and send her to another dimension (or something, i had been playing doom3 too much)
...................................it failed..........and heres why: The soul cube managed in sending Osaka to a different dimension, but apon arrival to this new dimension she fought the gatekeeper and escaped.
Who was the gatekeeper?
None other then this guy:
Yep, the gatekeeper was the predator.
This guy kills aliens for fun, the battle was one sided........and was finished in a matter of minutes........
Osaka was too powerful, not even the might of the greatest predator could stop her.
She came back even more powerful then before.........WITH CLONES!
We had failed.
That is how i found myself sitting in a classroom writing this report.
Me, and a squad of defeated mercenaries were sitting there in this classroom re-learning the history of world war two.......
..........."Ja mien students, ve von warld war two!"
Never send mercenaries to fight Osaka.
The moral of this story: NO MATTER WHAT, OSAKA PWNS ALL!
Now i pose you this question: would you trust Osaka with a grenade?
Not on your watchlist and proud of it.
DONT STEAL MY IMAGES!
last watched anime: hardcore hentai
currently watching:your face
last played: with myself
currently playing: with myself
98% of guys masterbate....the other 2% lie about it.
If you're either, copy it into your profile!!!!111!!!one!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!1!!
I RULE THE AAK!
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