squidgeart

from Adelaide, Australia

  • Activity

    • Risks Of Making Trans Video Content

      1 month ago

      squidgeart

      My name is Maple Pangaro and I make video content on Youtube1 and planning to open a Transgender sci fi themed exhibition at an art gallery.


      What kind of content do I make on Youtube? It started with vlogs, or video diaries. That was the point of my YT channel, to provide a video blog from my then-boss at the time. I've kept it since. Vlogs that talk about my life, whether I take hormones, my hopes, my dreams and any thing funny that happened to me. I'm proud of most of them.


      The other content revolves on my amateur citizen journalism, mini documentaries that revolve around issues such as the decline of services for LGBT youth, youth homelessness and others. Sometimes I make a fake news show called “Gender Agenda” where I report on various Trans related topics around the world in the same style a news anchor.


      The other content are various reviews on Transgender in the Media (books, films, TV shows, games) and miscellaneous videos on Star trek or other pop culture fascinations.


      That is what I do, but let's talk about the Risks involved. Is it risky to make video content on Youtube? The answer is an emphatic yes.


      Youtube has the ability to set up your Settings so every Comment on your video you get you have to manually tick yes to allow it to be seen by the public. Of course, you can have it automated so all of them get published regardless, but this presents the issue of finding the horrible ones in a panic.


      I get plenty of hateful, transphobic, stalkers and fetishists commenting on my videos. It's normal. In fact, I still publish the hateful comments, because I am democratic in nature. However, the really horrible comments I delete.


      Comments saying I should die, that cisgender people should forcefully Out their trans friends for 'lying' about their status, and many things I can't repeat here.


      The most disturbing ones are the confusing comments, as in what answer could I possibly give them? Comments asking if this is satire, or am I speaking in English (which I am), saying that this video is hilarious (on a video about Trans pregnancy).

      Then they are the stalkers, of 2 different distinct flavours. The first is the usual - “you have pretty eyes”, “i love you!” “between glassess you are sexy too”. 


      The other is more subtle, always commentating on your videos after every release. At first it looks normal, there are some Youtubers who I follow and I post a comment semi-regularly, but when the commentator writes an extremely long comment in the tiny box about an unrelated subject, it goes a little too far.


      Let's talk about Mass Dislikes. It is when a large group of people purposefully thumbs down or dislikes a video simply because it has something that disagrees with them. It's not a reflection on the quality or the content of the video, just a way to bully Youtubers.


      Consider my video 61 - Post Pride March 20162, where I talked about my fear of walking in the streets as a woman, scared I might be bashed. Cue all the 20+ dislikes. Why? I was expressing my fear, the video was only 11 seconds long. Also my videos on Transgender & Pregnancy, in which I discussed the science behind how it could and could not work had massive dislikes, because naturally the conservatives don't want to see this type of thing. Needless to say, I deleted most of the comments on those videos.


      If you disagree with the points in one of my videos, then please discuss this in the comments section in a respectful matter. Mass dislikes, ironically gets more views anyway. Mass dislikes on a video because you hate trans people shows the trolls that they are not willing to accept transgender people. These are the same trolls who love to spread discord, who do it because they are hateful, ignorant or want a rise out of other commentators.


      But I am small time compared to other transgender Youtubers out there such as Riley Dennis. (largely due to me unwilling to advertise my YT channel, another risk I will talk about shortly). They get it a lot worse then me. People who make make their living off YT ad revenue target these Youtubers to make Response Videos and show their hatred on those videos, getting thousands of views and making plenty of money. Why does the right wing Youtubers not get any hate?


      Why am I unwilling to advertise my YT channel? All the SEO (Search Engine Optimization) experts would go crazy that I'm not going on Twitter and hounding people’s emails every day to advertise. I only post videos on my Facebook – to those friends who I trust, and that is the point.


      I have not come out to my parents, or my high school friends. Why? - because it is a personal decision and kind of dangerous to do it willy nilly. Where I live, is still quite transphobic, to do so will put me at considerate risk.


      It is the fear of my anti-LGBT parents finding one of my videos or photos of me as a woman, that stops me from truly going all-out with my advertising. What could I say, that would convince them I am not trans?

      It's not even my parents or my former high school friends that I fear the most – but the friends of my parents and my high school buddies. They are unlike my family, actually quite adept at using the internet and digital technology. All it would take is one video and my life could be turned upside down in an instant.


      I hope I have been insightful, if not I hope I was easy to understand at least. These are some of the risks associated with making trans related video content. Technology can be a wonderful thing to spread your story, but it can also be dangerous, depressing and downright confusing too.


    • something needs to be done

      3 months ago

      squidgeart

      I am so sad. : disappointed_relieved

    • aimless, clueless, hapless

      3 months ago

      squidgeart

      I'm not going to make it past 2018. It's not going to happen.

      when my parents pass on (God forbid it) I will have nothing.

      Me get a job? ha. When pigs fly.

      I will be dead.

    • Shift Derp!

      3 months ago

      squidgeart

      YOU BASTARDS! You have to press Shift AND Esc key to pause the game in Mass Effect 2?


      shepard-funny-face.jpg

    • I'm sorry Alice [real name changed]

      3 months ago

      squidgeart

      I'm sorry Alice. [real name changed]

      I should have been more attentive. I realize now what you tried to do last night.

      You tried to cheer me up, as I looked into the oblivion of my pint glass of soda water. You tried to cheer me up with your knife tricks but I wasn't having it. i tried not to be rude, I hope I didn't come across like that.

      I just felt so weak, hearing about everybody's success and great lives when I have nothing. I was turned off by your gf, and sorry, but I just can't seem to enjoy her company. Sorry.

      I began to remember how you said I am often times too sad, in a caring tone of course. You are right, I agree.

      I began to remember how you said you weren't my friend, more then 6 months ago, probably at the influence of your gf.

      In the end, I couldn't take it. After having a little cry in the bathroom (and vomit) I opted to go home, eat my schnitzel from a box instead.

      I appreciate you trying to cheer me up.

      I also very much appreciate you coming over to talk to me about music, and letting me join in the conversations with the other woman.

      I appreciate you texting me, (where was i?) when I disappeared for a while beforehand. I was exhausted and literally fell asleep in my parked car, but I should have let somebody know.

      I appreciate you. You are kind, but I'm still scared that you will hurt me again. I cannot fully trust you anymore, and that makes me sad.

      I will try better

    • I'm sorry Mum 26/12/17

      3 months ago

      squidgeart

      I'm sorry Mum,

      I'm a failure.

      I failed at every thing.

      As I send and receive parents this Christmas, deep inside me I feel guilt, shame, anxiety and depression.

      I'm sorry I don't have a job. I tried. I spent all my parents money getting a garbage degree, that doesn't get me anything. It was the wrong degree anyway.

      I go online, like they me too. The govt, my sister in law, the job network providers, society. It doesn't work. It never does. It's a waste of effort. Not one return with a job interview, no mention of my degree. This last one, not even 24 hours for an automatic rejection.

      I am taunted y the memory of a man - a fat security guard - 2 years ago. Screaming and shouting at me because I dared to use my initiative and enter a building looking for work. I hope he chokes on his miserable $16 an hour.

      I fear homelessness. I understand my parents left me the house, but I can't be so sure. What happens, god forbid, if my parents die? How can I afford to pay for electricity, water etc on $560 a fortnight (the govt stipend)

      I'm sorry I dont have my own house. Or children. Or wife.

      I failed at everything.

      I will die lonely, penniless, and have achieved nothing.

    • My Skyrim mod notes

      4 months ago

      squidgeart

      Add more plants (ferns, lavender,nightshade,) for clutter

      add some silver jugs - for clutter

      add some static solitude shields - for clutter

      remove the fake madame statue

      remove some of the braziers from the 'sexy solitude' mod

      add more laundry with the laundry mod

      add some light near the solitude port entrance

      add a troll skull near pulcinello

      fix the top of the merchant's stalls

      add more stalls - for clutter

      cover up bits in the town that show clipping issues (notably the house near castle dour)

      remove the double ground with the floating thing in solitude row

      add more mist in the tail end of the tail end



    • I'm MCing ITDOR Adelaide 2017

      5 months ago

      squidgeart

      Hello!

      I'm MCing ITDOR Adelaide 2017! TDoR has been held, since 1998, on November 20th after the murder of Rita Hester, a Trans Woman & sex worker. TDOR raises public awareness of hate crimes against trans people, provides a space for public mourning & honours the lives of those trans people.

      Come join us 20th November, Venue 63, Adelaide light Square. 6:00pm

      >https://www.facebook.com/ITDoRAdelaide/

  • Comments (32)

    • AussieFlower

      2 years ago

      Hey. Thanks for the add

    • 03k64firefly FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Big Damn Hero

      3 years ago

      A Warm Fuzzy for you!

      You are a beautiful person.

      hug.jpg

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      6 years ago

      Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! smiley12.gif

    • LepraSaun

      6 years ago

      yeah i try to, im just busy lately. In fact i just did the intro for the new one coming out. I'll get back into em eventually though :)

    • squidgeart

      6 years ago

      Oh you can't make it anymore? Oh that sucks. :(

    • pak78

      6 years ago

      I wish I could bro but work pulled a u-turn on me and said I can't have the time off.
      It sucks the big one but I can't take the time without pay

    • oloeopia FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Thanks! Its from Torchwood: Miracle Day

    • Arvin FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Help Out RTOZ! Repost this!
      +mod this and this and any other ones you see!

      Hope to see you there!

    • oloeopia FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Hahahaaha good thing i looked at your profile... commenting on yourself doesn't show me that you answered me. haha! I though you might be ignoring me.....

    • squidgeart

      7 years ago

      Hello there. How are you?

    • oloeopia FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Hiya New friend!

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      7 years ago

      I hope to be on tomorrow. There is a community playdate tomorrow and I might be doing that instead ^_^ We'll see! smiley13.gif

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      7 years ago

      I usually am ^_^ smiley13.gif

    • Visceral

      7 years ago

      Oh hell yeah, zombies are the new nazis everyone loved killing nazi's now everyone loves killing zombies.
      only thing better than that is NAZI ZOMBIEs . smiley4.gif

    • Arvin FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Aussie RT fan? Great! Here's a new and upcoming group that all the cool kids are joining: RvB OZ.
      And don't worry about this group just sitting there and collecting dust, this group is organised and very much active!

    • Tranzellical

      7 years ago

      Yay! I made you a sponsor!

    • squidgeart

      7 years ago

      I don't mind at all! :D Should I PM you my address?

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      7 years ago

      I'll send one to you! ^_^ It will come late...but as long as you don't mind! smiley13.gif

    • Visceral

      7 years ago

      Hey squidge, thanks for the friend request , I hope we can catch up sometime soon. I know its gonna be kinda tough with the time difference but im sure we will get together eventually. C ya soon
      Will

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      7 years ago

      Sorry for the double post...I just got really excited smiley13.gif

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      7 years ago

      I mentioned you in today's Cmmunity Content of the Week post! smiley13.gif

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      7 years ago

      I'm mentioning you on the Rooster Teeth Community Content group today! smiley13.gif

    • Nestry

      7 years ago

      Thanks darling. I hate to say it but I'm not up to par at the moment, but I will get there.
      How about you? How are things on your end?

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      7 years ago

      Doing fairly well ^_^ We just got back from Thanksgiving break. We are going to start packing this week for the big move into the house AND tomorrow we sign for the home loan. WOW! I can't believe this is really happening! 0_o This is the most adult thing i've ever done...but I won't let it get to my head *LOL* smiley13.gif

    • cab0oserocks

      7 years ago

      Thanks for your reply- only now do I realize I missed it a few weeks ago. Whoops! Anyway, your advice is reassuring. Those are all things that I'm proud to possess. I suppose working with a half-ass, uninterested crew steels one to the point where I'm not afraid to roll the ball myself. This is good. smiley0.gif

      You say you're a volunteer at the station, how do you support yourself financially? What's good work for a filmmaker to keep food on the table? My film teacher recommends filming things like concerts and plays for groups around town, but I'd be hesitant to trust my livelihood in a few years to circumstantial work.

    • squidgeart

      7 years ago

      hello, how are you?

    • master720ful

      7 years ago

      hi,what's up?

    • squidgeart

      7 years ago

      I'm flattered, I really am. I hate to disappoint you, but I have only been paid for filmmaking once for a PSA. Most of us are volunteers at the station. I get paid in experience, knowledge and exposure, which is a nice start. And a nice resume. However, the higher ups call it work and it certainly feel like it.
      No, no, no, not luck at all. I studied film at an art school - kinda of like a film school but I also got to learn ceramics.
      I can give you some advice to get to my stage. Patience, persistence, hard work, & faith. I had to make friends and get 'in' with the station. I didn't get my show on television for sitting around waiting for a phone call back. I went up to them every week and asked them about the show's progress. There is no such thing as pestering in this business. Have faith in yourself, you can do it. If you don't believe in yourself, nothing happens.
      But most of all, make films! Make as many as you can, as much as you can! It improves your skills and gives you a library of content to use.

      Keep me posted on your progress. We are on the same journey, hope we can help each other.

    • cab0oserocks

      7 years ago

      I checked out your Vimeo page and some of the stuff you've made for the TV station you work at. You essentially have the job I want in a few years. May I ask how you got your job? Did you go to film school, or did you intern strait out of high school and move up from there? Or was it just plain dumb luck?

    • squidgeart

      7 years ago

      Hi. I've never been to PAX before, what's it like?

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      7 years ago

      I'm doing well, thanks ^_^ Been getting ready for PAX and taking care of my husband after his knee surgery. Been a long week...and this week is going to feel even longer smiley8.gif

  • Questions

    No questions have been answered yet