u2colin

Male
from Eglin AFB, FL

  • Activity

    • HAPPY NEW YEAR

      5 years ago

      u2colin

      FROM THE FUTURE!

      We found the cure for caner, too. Get this. It's tangerines.

      Who knew?

      -Colin

    • Quote of the day

      5 years ago

      u2colin

      Me: ''Jesus + Tebow = Tebus.''
      My friend: ''I like the name Tebus. It just sounds god-like. He sounds like he should be standing next to Zeus in heaven shooting thunder bolts at whores.''

      -Colin

      I miss my friends from back home. They're awesome.

    • This may possibly be the best thing ever

      5 years ago

      u2colin

      Just watch it.

      A still more glorious dawn awaits. Not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise. A morning filled with 400 billion suns-
      The rising of the milky way

      -Colin

    • What I learned this week:

      5 years ago

      u2colin

      Stomach viruses suck.

      -Colin

    • No idea why

      5 years ago

      u2colin

      My should has been bothering me lately. I'm thinking about going to the doctor in the next few days if it doesn't get better.

      Fucking shoulder.

      -Colin

    • The Art of Stuidity

      in Forums > The Art of Stuidity | Follow this topic

      u2colin

      High school is supposed to be a time of happiness, discovering yourself and learning all sorts of important thing you'll need later on in life, like what a pronoun is or why it's important that white people rap in the Black History Month assembly. For some of us, however, it's a time of hatred, discovering other people's shortcoming, and learning all sorts of useless information like what a pronoun is or why the white guy is giving all of us other white people a bad name and doing what can be charitably called ''rapping'', and uncharitably called ''shitting out of his mouth'' during the Black History Month assembly. So, in celebration of my utter loathing of the people I have the displeasure of calling my classmates, here's 5 reasons why I fucking hated high school, and continue to hate the people I attended it with.

      5. I lived in a town with 4 high schools, but one of them was a private catholic school, so fuck them. The one I went to was the ''nice'' school, but only because the other two were in the ghetto. No, seriously. Our school year normally started last week of August, maybe first week of September. One year, by the end of the first quarter, which was always the end of October, some column in the newspaper came out about arrests in the schools. My school had only twenty something, whereas the other two had over sixty. Each. Hell, I think both even went into lock down a few times. It was no surprise that our school had the most people, which just happened to include the fucktards from the other schools who got transferred. By the end of my three and a half years, (I graduated early), I was surprised at the fact that I had never been shot. Not because I was mean to the hoodlums, who made up over 3/4 of the school, but because I was white. Yes. It was that kind of school.

      4. Apparently you're supposed to be proud of your school or something. I could never tell why. Our students were shit, and the only good athletic team was the girls basketball team, which was hilarious considering I don't remember a single whitey on the guys team. Anyway, I never went to the pep rallies for a number of reasons. One, my parents would always get me out, because they're awesome, but two, and more importantly, I couldn't stand being around thirty of the fuckwit students in class. I did not want to sit in a hot gymnasium and yell about how our school is great when our only competition are two prisons dressed up like schools. Excuse me for not having school spirit, but last time I checked, that means jack-shit when it comes to life after high school.

      3. People are stupid. This is not helped by being young. I heard, on a daily basis, roughly 10 things that made me want to punch a wall. Some of my favorites: ''When we fought Japan in World War 1'' (Coming from a HISTORY TEACHER), ''What do you mean 5 and -5 aren't the same number?'' (Coming from someone who wanted to be an accountant), and, one of my favorite, ''Of course I support Obama. He's from Illinois.'' Feel free to make your own jokes on that one, I've been making them for the past 3 years. Needless to say, I went to high school with people who will be contributing members of society. And with my low tolerance for stupidity, I often found myself counting the hours down until I was no longer surrounded by the bottom 1% of the country.

      2. This may come as a shock to all of you, but I was never popular. I KNOW. Isn't that surprising? That may be due to the fact that I couldn't stand any of the popular kids because of the previous point, but I was always surprised at how they could make such retarded promises when running for student council and still get elected. ''I'll get tvs put up in the cafeteria.'' Like hell you will. Have fun raising the money, buying enough to make everyone happy, not have a war over what channel they're tuned to and, oh yes, actually getting permission to hang them up and use them. Whatever, I guess when I found out that one of the people running was suspended 10 for sexual harassment and still got elected, I should have just stopped giving a shit. And stopped being surprised at the retarded things teenagers do.

      1. You know what I always loved watching? Relationships. Boy would meet girl, they would go on a ''date'', they would ''fall in love'', then 2 months later, they would either break up or find out she's pregnant, all the while I'm hoping that I win the pool for when their relationship hits the fan. I had one relationship in high school. She ''fell in love'' with me. After 5 days. We broke up 3 weeks later due to her ''not wanting to be in a relationship.'' I think that's what she said, I'unno, I had fallen back asleep because that bitch woke me up from my nap. So yes, 1 relationship that lasted a month long, and I can honestly say that while watching high school relationships go down in flames while friends must pick which burning ship they want to be on is quite fun, it's just disturbing to know that when you go back to school the next day, something bad may or may not happen. I couldn't tell you, we broke up after I graduated. You know, early. Like a boss.

      1 reply

    • Holy shit

      5 years ago

      u2colin

      Valve just confirmed John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Fidel Castro and Robert McNamara as the characters in the Left 4 Dead 3. Not sure if want.

      -Colin

    • Clearly, a gentleman

      5 years ago

      u2colin

      I was recently asked by a good friend of mine to describe the movie ''Full Metal Jacket.'' After getting over the fact that she had never seen it by realizing that she is a woman, and therefore knows nothing of great cinema, I responded with this:

      ''The first half is like....your wedding night. It's so perfect, you'll never forget it. The second half is like chronic diarrhea. You want to forget about it as quickly as possible, although it does have its moment. Mainly the one where it ends.''

      -Colin
      She now owes me for one jelly doughnut.

    • Motherfucking Zynga

      in Forums > Motherfucking Zynga | Follow this topic

      u2colin

      Look, there's no denying it, Zynga is evil. Or, as most of you probably know them better as, the creators of Farmville, Cityville, Frontierville/Pioneer Trail and just about every other game on Bookface are pure evil. You may be asking yourself, ''Colin, why do you say such awful things about wonderful people who keep me playing these simple games like a whore snorts crack?" as you take another line off of the coffee table with a Jackson, but that just goes to prove my point. And all the drug commercial's point, I guess.

      5. Those dastardly social types over at Zynga have found the fastest way for me to become annoyed: Get me hooked on some game, maybe Cityville, and then say ''What's that? You want to play by yourself? Well, how about you go be neighbors with your friends because otherwise you're not getting any farther then this.'' The games just fold their arms, force you to be social with other people, make them send you things. I don't WANT to annoy my friends with messages every fucking day about ''Send me this milking machine'' and ''I need this wrench with which I can fix my meth machine so I can continue selling drugs to inner city youth.'' It's pointless, stupid and I'm pretty sure they'll hate me even more than they already do, and that's fucking saying something.

      4. As evil as Zynga is, they're fucking smart, I'll give them that. Certain buildings/upgrades/water dispensers can only be unlocked through some arbitrary currency that you can only earn by leveling up. Or, of course, buy paying with real money if you're impatient. That's right. You can pay real money to better the random farm that only 3 people will ever look at. But this is how Zynga makes its money right here. People pay, A LOT, just so they can have slightly better buildings with slightly better resource output so they can have a slightly better virtual city. And at the end of the day, all these people will have is a slightly better chance of dying alone and unloved.

      3. Really, the games aren't even that good. They're all just interpretations of ''Go here and build shit'', unless it's something like Mafia Wars, where it's ''Click on this, do a 'mission', and get rewarded. Now wait because you're out of energy.'' Past building/upgrading some random character you can't see, there's nothing to the game. It's the EXACT same thing, from one game to the next, just with a different setting, time, character, plat and look to it. Okay, I'm sure that that sounds like ''Jaws would have been the exact same as, say, Batman and Robin, had Amity Island become Gotham, the 70's became the 90's, Brody, Quint and Hooper became 2 homosexuals, and the plot had gone from killing a shark to killing Arnold Swahrdnweoih3249thnwfo's unholy accent. And Bane, because he sucked in that movie.''

      2. If you notice, all of Zynga's games are casual ones, you know the types, ones that you can't find on a real console. Or, for that matter, something that you can download or get on a disk, unless you're some weird black market fellow who downloads this game and then sells it to inner city Russian youth because while they afford komputer, komputer not get internet komrad. Anyway, these aren't ''games'' so much as they're ''Interactive times wasters'', and alright, yes, that's all any video game is, but other video games also have reason. You know, a point for playing them. These are just kind of ''Go here, play this, kill time. No no, that's all.'' It's just pointless, there's no innovation, there's no upgrades from one to the next, at least other casual games like 1 vs 100 gave you leaderboard as they were demoralizing you for not knowing the 24th largest river in the world. (It's Salween.) Although giving people the ability to compete globally against each others farms does sound kind of retarded, now that I think about it. Not as retarded as paying real fucking money to buy things though.

      1. The absolute worst fucking part of every goddamn Zynga game is simply this: Energy. Not the amount of energy you put into the game, no that's more on you for actually caring enough about how you do in something that never shows the smallest amount of appreciation for you playing it. No, I'm speaking more along the lines of how much energy you can use. You only have so much energy at any given time, so use it wisely before it all runs up because otherwise you're fucked. You can't collect money, you can't talk to people, you can't do shit. You have to wait around until your energy regenerates, or you could pointlessly waist more and more fucking real money on buying some. God forbid they let me buy some with the hundreds of thousands of fucking in-game coins I have, oh hel no. We worked on this game mother fucker, now you will pay us to play or you will only play so much at a time. Oh yeah Zynga? Well FUCK YOU TOO. Evil, over-hyped piece of mediocre shit. GROW UP AND MAKE REAL CASUAL GAMES LIKE POPCAP. And then make nothing else for the rest of eternity because why challenge yourself.

      1 reply

  • Comments (4237)

    • magnaguard

      5 years ago

      Ah, early US history certainly is the finest history. US History WWI and before is my primary focus, and then I go more in depth with a few things in there like the Enlightenment, pro-slavery movement in the antebellum South, and then WWI.

    • magnaguard

      5 years ago

      I'm set to graduate spring of next year if everything goes right. I live in Michigan and the job market here is shit, especially for teachers and even more so for history teachers. Apparently Texas is hiring teachers though, which helps quell my fears of unemployment. Any specific college choices?

    • Thechurch

      5 years ago

      WELL LA-DE-FUCKIN'-DA.

    • magnaguard

      5 years ago

      Oh just doing that school thing, year four of five, learning about how to teach youngsters the joys of history. Where are you at?

    • techskater

      5 years ago

      They've been eh. I have an interview at Wells Fargo in an hour and a half. And so I'm sitting in a local Starbucks in formal wear feeling far out of my own league, ect.

    • techskater

      5 years ago

      Eh.

    • techskater

      5 years ago

      Not really, but still. I'm offline for the weekend. So I'll be thinking about it.

    • techskater

      5 years ago

      Um.. I dunno. But i gotta go to jail this weekend so I'll be giving it much thought.

    • techskater

      5 years ago

      Yes, quite

    • techskater

      5 years ago

      Colnious-

      I don't know if you're still aware, but we still have the Top 5 Group.

      I hope by this comment you recognize my implied implications regarding what we should do, given this revelation.

      Sincerely, Beauregard.

    • magnaguard

      5 years ago

      Hey man, "what is the haps? as the cool kids say.

    • starcom30273

      5 years ago

      Well of course, where else whould I look?

    • starcom30273

      5 years ago

      Ok, I'll see if I can find some place that still sells those things.

    • starcom30273

      5 years ago

      Ahh, yeah that might do it, then do you want me to try and find some of that freeze popcicle... things for you?

    • starcom30273

      5 years ago

      True, did you ever figure out if you have a freezer you can use?

    • starcom30273

      5 years ago

      Your just upset that you don't have any.

    • starcom30273

      5 years ago

      Well blarg, you take the fun out of everything.


      smiley12.gif

      Post edited 8/11/11 1:48PM

    • starcom30273

      5 years ago

      Yes, but see I did not say I would be providing the beer, I said that we needed to get some beer into hit, therefor leaving it open for us to acquire the beer though other means such as a bar, a different person, ect.

    • starcom30273

      5 years ago

      baggins3164bb327c57d771.jpg
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    • starcom30273

      6 years ago

      Righttttttt, your just friends.

    • starcom30273

      6 years ago

      Well it's good that you found someone to love (not gay.) Just make sure you treat him right, and listen to his feeling and give him nice things.

    • starcom30273

      6 years ago

      Well that's good at least, sleep is always good! How goes the camel hunt?

    • starcom30273

      6 years ago

      Good, it's all north and stuff. So what days do you work, and how goes the desert?

    • starcom30273

      6 years ago

      HI COLIN!

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      I cried.
      Manly, manly tears.

      131086094463.jpg

    • starcom30273

      6 years ago

      Thanks, figured that one out.

    • starcom30273

      6 years ago

      Do I still have that thing?

    • starcom30273

      6 years ago

      Yeah, I figured you would like those.

    • starcom30273

      6 years ago

      Blarg, huge picture is huge: img824.imageshack.us/img824/3296/371cef4bbvekx.jpg

    • starcom30273

      6 years ago

      Well Hartsfield is usually entertaining enough, but I present you with this:

      Exercise_ball_cops_feel.gif

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      I'm trying to. Still keep tripping over myself every time I try to do something...

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      MUFFIN TIME!

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

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    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      Totally.

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      I see your Dr. Whoof and raise you a Cmdr. Sparkle.

      ponyeffect.jpg

    • techskater

      6 years ago

      Check me out not even trying

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      /Evil laughter

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      tumblr_lk3fu9RlUQ1qj3w32o1_400.gif

      LOOK, IT'S EVERYWHERE.

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      ALL. OVER. YOUR. FACE PANCAKES.

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      You would love a bit of syrup right now.

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      /trollface

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

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    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      You love it.

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      HAIL KING NERF-DART, LEST HE SHOOT YOU IN THE EYE WITH HIS RUBBER-TIPPED BULLET OF SLIGHT INCONVENIENCE!

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      I would, if it weren't for the fact that some idiot would think they're real and call in the fucking armed police on me.
      I'm not getting shot in the middle of nowhere over a fucking Nerf gun.

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      Oh, hell no.

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      /Tells Colin that Nerf guns are awesome.
      /New Immersion goes up.
      /Victory.

    • Thechurch

      6 years ago

      You fool.

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