Signed up: 10 years ago (10/03/04)
Last signed in: 1 year ago
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27 year-old male from Woodinville, WA
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fooking spidersIt is 3:10 in the morning and I get into the bathroom to take a shower. I notice two daddy long legs in a corner of the room, one of them is a gigantic specimen that could take down a mountain gorilla. Anyways I didn't want to deal with them (not a lot of time) so I just hopped into the shower. Some point I noticed that the blur of the spider (gorddamn blind without glasses) was gone and I was relieved. After washing the shampoo out of my hair I noticed that a crease in the shower curtain was rather dark. I blinked and squinted really hard, only to realize that it was this gigantic fucking daddy long legs now inches away from me and freaking out. At that point I lost my cool, freaked out, yelped, and performed an ungraceful emergency evac from the shower. Once I calmed down I took down it's support spider that was still outside the shower. Then I carefully breached the shower stall, slicing the pie and being pretty operator in general. I spot my foe and use a mass of toilet paper to crush the life from it's massive hulk. With both of them down I search the entire fucking bathroom for reinforcements before finishing up my shower.

I'm sorry for teasing you Jackie
5 years ago  |  Comments (5)  |  + 6 Funny
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Name Mike
Occupation Internet Minister
Interests Motorcycles camping hiking skiing fishing shooting/guns boating building/fixing computers gaming horror movies photography.
Music ACDC Aerosmith Beck Black Sabbath Blue Oyster Cult Cream Creedence Clearwater Revival David Bowie Deep Purple Eagles Electric Light Orchestra Eric Clapton Fleetwood Mac Foreigner Franz Ferdinand Grateful Dead Guns n' Roses James Brown Jethro Tull Jimi Hendrix Johnny Cash Kiss Led Zeppelin MC Chris Modest Mause Nine Inch Nails Peter Frampton Pink Floyd Queen Roger Waters Rolling Stones R?yksopp Rush Scorpions Steve Miller Band Styx The Beatles The Doors The Killers The Strokes The White Stripes The Who ZZ Top DJ AM Boys Noize Daft Punk Kavinsky BUSY P Justice Neon Indian Fresh Espresso Blue Scholars Mad Rad Champagne Champagne
Movies Heat Fight Club Lock Stock and two Smoking Barrels Snatch Day of the Jackal The Big Lebowski the Indiana Jones series The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou The Royal Tenenbaums Fargo Pulp Fiction Dr. Strangelove Star Wars 4-6 Aliens Dawn of the Dead (1978) Black Hawk Down Platoon Apocalypse Now Saving Private Ryan Monty Python and the Holy Grail Blade Runner Bullitt Falling Down Seven Samurai Equilibrium Johnny Mnemonic John Carpenter's The Thing.
TV Shows A-Team Aqua Teen Hungerforce Sealab 2021 Home Movies Red Dwarf Flying Circus The Red Green Show Family Guy Venture Bros.