Forums > Demetri Martin.

Jokes.

Posts (12)

  • ElWaldorf

    ElWaldorf

    #30169925 - 10 years ago

    Tell us some of your favorite jokes of Demetri.

  • Joseph4499

    Joseph4499

    #30169926 - 10 years ago

    there is one I like, I don't know exactly how its worded bet its something like this, I have a time machine at home... It only goes forward at regular speed.

  • SoH_Spector

    SoH_Spector

    #30169927 - 10 years ago

    I like the the one he did on in Impotant Things, you know the coffe one
    "Ok if you draw the lines in little heat waves, it's hot, but if you change them into strait lines, now it's loud, but if you put them coming from the side, that means it's coming at you, it's attacking you. But if you put them all together, now you've got a hot, loud, cup of coffe attacking you, you gotta get outta there!"
    smiley0.gif He is so great, but it's not as funny without the pictures he shows, while he's telling it smiley0.gif

  • SoH_Spector

    SoH_Spector

    #30169928 - 10 years ago

    oh, and this one-
    "You know, I feel stupid when ever I trie to spell 'Banana". Cause I never know when to end it. 'Bana...ok, it needs some more. Bananana.....Darrrrrrrn!"

    Post edited 2/23/09 4:06PM

  • Novus_Virtus

    Novus_Virtus

    #30169929 - 10 years ago

    Glitter is the STD of craft supplies.

  • CptGrif

    CptGrif

    #30169930 - 10 years ago

    "Hiking is really just walking where it's O.K. to pee."

  • genGrevious

    genGrevious

    #30169931 - 10 years ago

    improper fractions one

  • bunnyzilla

    bunnyzilla

    #30169932 - 10 years ago

    You can make anything sound creepy by adding, "....ladies" to the end of sentences

    ....ladies. ;)

  • doganddog

    doganddog

    #30169933 - 10 years ago

    lets let G represent a hot girl in high school.Then add in a loss of J,or job and add 20 which equals fat. (G+20)-J=F

  • JAFOOfficer

    JAFOOfficer

    #30169934 - 10 years ago

    If someone asks you if you are tickleish, they are going to touch you. Weather you say yes, or no, they will touch you. To prevent this, say something really random like "i have diarrhea"

  • drbob7

    drbob7

    #30169936 - 10 years ago

    It wasnt a joke but the entire skit about the religious mouse traps

  • bluebullcrap

    bluebullcrap

    #30169937 - 10 years ago

    "I was once in a bar with my friends one night...and I went to the bathroom. I sat down and saw that some people wrote on the stall door. It read 'Metallica Rules'. Under that it said 'Metallica Sucks'. Under that it said 'You suck'. Under that it said, 'Fuck you.' And I was thinking...A lot of people shit with pens. I should get myself one."