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Create a character for RWBY

Posts (85531)

  • Jacinta-Capelety

    Jacinta-Capelety

    #33747546 - 6 months ago

    In reply to rt-201812100218574938970


    Name: What's the color connection? All RWBY names are required to have a color connection.


    Appearance: Please spell and grammar check more. There are WAY too many errors here (if English is you're second language, I can excuse it to some degree, but the point still stands). And while I'm on the subject, make sure to put a period at the end of sentences. Adding spaces between paragraphs would also make this a lot easier to read.


    Personality: This is really bare-bones. I hope this is just suppose to be the framework for the character, cause the very little that is there is something I've seen a LOT. Especially from beginners.


    Skills: Soooo.... stealth, basically? Ya probably wanna elaborate on this more. Most sections of a character bio shouldn't be something that can be summarized in a single word. People are complex, therefore explaining a person is complex. 

    Aura/Semblance: Not a bad starting concept, but what are the drawbacks? Approximately how much aura does using his semblance take? Are certain materials harder to phase through than others? What limits are there to when he can use this semblance? Does he have to concentrate to do this? How does he avoid phasing through the ground? What happens if he runs out of aura while phasing through something? Does he get spit back out? Can he make objects phase with him? How does his semblance tie in with his personality? Phyra had polarity because she was drawn to people that same way metal is drawn to a magnet. Ruby has speed because she's very excitable and kinda hyper. Ren can mask emotions, making others seem as calm as he usually is by default. Don't just pick a power cause it sounds cool and call it a semblance. Hyper analyse that $#!t.

    History: First of all. Grammar! Please! And periods at the end of sentences! That alone will help a ton. Second of all, there is a TON of stuff missing from this. How did he unlock his semblance at an early age? How early of an age are we talking? What was his relationship like with his parents before they died? Why did he want to be a huntsman? Was it because he looked up to his parents in some way, or was it an external cause? You said he "never trained to be a huntsman", but then immediately after say his parents taught him the fighting skills he'd need. That's a contradiction. Either he trained or he didn't. If he wanted to be a huntsman, why doesn't his history section make any mention of him taking steps towards that goal? How did he survive the fall of Beacon when his parents, trained huntsmen, didn't? Didn't any rescue parties search his house for survivors afterwards and take him to an orphanage? Why is he living in an abandoned mansion? How did he even GET to this abandoned mansion? If he wants to let someone get close to him, why won't he let anyone get close to him? How does he take care of himself when he lives alone and presumably has no source of income? Is he just scrounging for food? How old even is this kid?! Finally, I'd like to point out that the "someone-important-to-them-died-and-they-blame-themself-and-now-they-shut-everyone-out" story line, has been done to death, to the point it's more of a trope than a story line. Mix things up a bit. Did his parents die protecting him? If so, would that sacrifice make him all the more determined to become a huntsman so he can carry on his parents legacy? 


    Likes: People...... yet he avoids them. Fancy food..... which he wouldn't be able to try since, as previously mentioned, he's presumably broke.... and avoiding any people that can make said fancy food.


    Dislikes: Unless your character is working with Salem, I think it goes without saying that they'd dislike the thing that does nothing but kill, maim and destroy. 'Grimm' was not a necessary addition to this section. Also, why would he dislike daytime? I can understand being tired in the daytime (I'm naturally nocturnal myself), but what reason does he have to dislike it?


    .....You realize the show staff actively avoid looking at fan-made stuff 99.9% of the time, right (the other 0.1% being the time they had a competition for Velvet's combat outfit)? Even putting that aside, first of all, if team RWBY and the gang are in a town, why wouldn't they just stay at the local inn? If the town is big enough to have a mansion nearby, abandoned or otherwise, then surely it's got some kind of inn-like service. And why would team RWBY want to let another person in on the MASSIVE secret of the relics? Especially when it's someone they just met, barely know, and have little to no reason to trust?


    TL;DR: This character needs a LOOOOOOOT of work. Also, grammar and spell checking, PLEASE.

  • rt-201812100218574938970

    rt-201812100218574938970

    #33747547 - 6 months ago

    In reply to VoshTheStampede

    What do you mean

  • VoshTheStampede

    VoshTheStampede FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold For Science

    #33747549 - 6 months ago

    In reply to rt-201812100218574938970


    Spaces between paragraphs. Sections with titles. Complete sentences. Basically anything to make the profile easier to read.

  • Ace-of-Rogues

    Ace-of-Rogues FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Main Weapon: Rapier Wit

    #33747554 - 6 months ago

    In reply to rt-201812100218574938970

    Write this like you're turning it in to your English teacher to be graded. If spelling and grammar are something you have trouble with, find a friend who will proofread for you. Massive blocks of choppy text are hard to read through and I know I start to lose interest after a few lines of them. This character seems interesting, but I have a hard time working my way through this. I'll repeat, the best thing you can do is find a friend who's willing to proofread and peer review if it's something you have trouble with, it helps a lot and (not trying to be a jerk) this profile needs help in terms of spelling, grammar, and structure.

  • VoshTheStampede

    VoshTheStampede FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold For Science

    #33747569 - 6 months ago

    JQsCOHE.jpg

    Pack it in, fight's over

  • PaperGodzilla

    PaperGodzilla

    #33747575 - 6 months ago

    In reply to rt-201812100218574938970

    heres are ome sugestion for the weapon. I recomend looking at this list of hand or fist weapon.  there might be somthing a little more exotic then brass knuckles.


    I would recomed looking at  tekko an Okinawan weapon like brass knuckls but no indivual finger holes alowing the user to still graphle. you could also put the guns into the handles use them like Derringers


    another punching likeweaponI have been looking at are deer horn knives

  • AnimeAnnemarie

    AnimeAnnemarie

    #33747582 - 6 months ago

    WHAT'S THAT? IT'S BEEN FOREVER SINCE I POSTED ONE OF THESE? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER HOW GLAD I AM TO FINALLY HAVE FINISHED THIS PROFILE!


    [NAME] Sky Nimbus.


    [GENDER] Male. 


    [AGE] 17.


    [SPECIES] Faunus ("Scarab Beetle"). 


    [OCCUPATION/EDUCATION] First-year student at Sentry Academy.


    [COLOR THEME] (Pastel) Milky Blue.


    [REFERENCE/ALLUSION] Khepri (Egyptian god of Sunrise).


    [PERSONALITY] Sky could be considered a veteran with respect to experience with racism, and it's exactly because he's been discriminated against his entire life that he's grown bitter and distrustful. He doesn't like interacting with non-faunus, and especially loathes racists. He's very hateful of them and unwilling to forgive or compromise, even if they were to apologize to him. On top of that, he takes issue with faunus who are okay with or dismissive of racism, and do nothing about it. He thinks of them as cowards and traitors. He tends to hold on to grudges in general, and usually has a gloomy outlook on life. He tends to be respectful of people if they are respectful of him, but a lot of people just avoid him because of his grumpy attitude all day. He doesn't like to open up to people about himself unless he really trusts them, and that trust is very hard to earn (and quite easy to lose).


    [LOOKS] (NOTE: the way I drew his weapons here isn't quite accurate anymore. In the 'weapons' section you'll see small changes have been made to its design since. Also, no need to read this paragraph if you can see the image.) daagmvr-48397824-0508-4aa5-91e4-a2823c31

    His quite curly cloudy-blue-colored hair crowns his head and compliments his olive skin, his bright yellow eyes deeply hidden behind it. But his most outstanding feature(s) are the two large (scarab) mandibles that stick out, pointing upwards from the top of his head. They are connected to his actual jaw by muscle, and so he is able to move them slightly. He wears a light blue blouse with short, very puffy sleeves and a long, frilly neck ruffle that goes down to about the bottom his ribs, as well as very puffy pants of a deeper shade of blue. Both clothing articles have a silky texture to them. Aside from his regular clothing, he usually wears Claws of Khepri, his metal gauntlets and boots that make up his weapons, which he tucks his sleeves and trouser legs into.


    [BACKSTORY] Coming from a relatively well-off faunus family in Mistral, Sky is all too familiar with faunus racism and discrimination. Bad people would constantly curse out his family, accusing them of having accumulated their wealth through theft or other illegitimate means. Even when he started training to become a huntsman at Sanctum, classmates would bully and belittle him for being a faunus. Unfortunately for Sky, his large mandibles are hard to hide, which makes for an easy target. This made him a very bitter person. He was already familiar with Cole and Persimmon, an infamous duo from another class, who were rumored to be the cruelest towards faunus. When he heard about Sentry Academy, his interest was piqued; he'd love to start over in a newer, tougher community. One focused more on combat and strength than ostracizing everyone that's different. Partially because of his strong semblance, Sky passed the entrance test quite easily. However, when he found out Persimmon and Cole also enrolled in (and managed to get into) Sentry Academy, a great anger came over him. This only got worse when the team he was assigned to was PSTL, with Persimmon Coral, Thea Mint, and Lily Lavender. He rejected Persimmon as his leader, because he knew all too well what he and Cole were infamous for. In a desperate episode, Persimmon then revealed to everyone at Sentry that he was actually a faunus all along; he had hidden his trait with his clothing. This in turn made Cole reject Persimmon. Sky's other teammates quickly took more of a liking to Persimmon after this, but this was a lot tougher for Sky; he still saw Persimmon as a traitor for associating with Cole for so long, for tolerating his racism for so long. He still finds it difficult to accept him as his leader, but it's steadily getting better.


    [WEAPONS] Claws of Khepri:KHo4XHw.jpg

    Actually a set of four, it consists of a pair of metal gauntlets and a pair of metal boots. All have two "fingers" and a "thumb", making them look somewhat like bird talons. Two of Sky's fingers go in each gauntlet finger, and his thumb goes in the thumb space. For the boots, the thumb is unoccupied, Sky's biggest toe goes in one finger, and the rest in the other. The inside of all four pieces is lined with a thick layer soft velvet, absorbing shocks and making sure Sky's hands and feet do not get bruised or hurt while he uses them. The gauntlets go up the arm up to right under the elbow, and the boots go up the leg up to right below the knee, both consisting of about three arm/leg segments, and one for the wrists/ankles. The fingers and thumbs on the gauntlets consist of three segments as well -those on the boots only have two, however-, and all have a sharp, flat spike on the inside of each segment. They contain a springlock type mechanism that makes the fingers snap shut, a bit like a bear trap. The hands close completely, with the thumb inbetween the two fingers, but the feet only snap into a clawing position. This can be used to grab onto things, while the mechanism in the hands is mainly used for cutting completely through things, or crushing them. On the inside of the palm, as well as below the sole, each hand and foot has a bit of raised metal in the shape of Sky's emblem. Lastly, on top of the hands and aimed between the two fingers is a small, embedded automatic machine pistol barrel that is loaded through the back, and can be used to shoot with, usually when the hand is closed (but because it is aimed between the fingers, can also safely be shot when the hand is open).


    [EMBLEM] Two mirrored crescent shapes, thinner at the bottom than at the top, ending in a spike and sprouting another short spike inwards near the top, surround a big circle. The aforementioned shapes can be interpreted as Sky's mandibles, or as hands seen from the side, with the thumb on the inside, holding up a ball of light (or the sun). It's the same shade of milky blue as Sky's overall color theme.


    [SEMBLANCE] Sunrise: This semblance gives Sky the ability to 'roll up' balls of light. Think of rolling snow to make snowballs, but with light. These balls of light, which become more taxing on his aura to roll up and hold as their size increases, radiate heat and light energy capable of dealing damage.


  • VoshTheStampede

    VoshTheStampede FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold For Science

    #33747591 - 6 months ago

    In reply to AnimeAnnemarie


    Are you aware he shares a first name with a canon character? If you are, that's fine. If you aren't...well you can be forgiven for not remembering Sky Lark. 

  • AnimeAnnemarie

    AnimeAnnemarie

    #33747593 - 6 months ago

    In reply to VoshTheStampede I am. I felt it was justified, since they don't even use Sky's first name for the team acronym. They use the L. I already posted my character called Roy, who shares his name with a canon character in season 3 as well. I don't mind it that much; people IRL have the same first names sometimes as well :p I'm not gonna be copying main/important character's names anyway.

  • VoshTheStampede

    VoshTheStampede FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold For Science

    #33747594 - 6 months ago

    In reply to AnimeAnnemarie


    And let's be fair...we're probably not gonna see any of team CRDL again.

  • AnimeAnnemarie

    AnimeAnnemarie

    #33747601 - 6 months ago

    In reply to VoshTheStampede They were so shit, how did they even get into Beacon. Real talk. They ran away from like ONE Ursa.

  • VoshTheStampede

    VoshTheStampede FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold For Science

    #33747604 - 6 months ago

    In reply to AnimeAnnemarie


    I've always understood it as students like RWBY and JNPR being the exception rather than the rule.

  • rt-201812100218574938970

    rt-201812100218574938970

    #33747611 - 6 months ago

    I can't draw for the life of though which would make it so much better

  • Ace-of-Rogues

    Ace-of-Rogues FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Main Weapon: Rapier Wit

    #33747622 - 6 months ago

    In reply to rt-201812100218574938970

    Same.

  • rt-201812100218574938970

    rt-201812100218574938970

    #33747629 - 6 months ago

    In reply to AnimeAnnemarie

    What you can draw almost perfectly bUT not all of us can do that

  • VoshTheStampede

    VoshTheStampede FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold For Science

    #33747630 - 6 months ago

    In reply to AnimeAnnemarie


    Even Qrow remarked that they were skilled for their age. 

  • VoshTheStampede

    VoshTheStampede FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold For Science

    #33747643 - 6 months ago

    The final page:


    WDoXUOU.jpg


    67 pages. I should've had it done in 40. 



    And now that it's done, here's a link to an album that has the whole damn thing.

  • ArkOfDarkness

    ArkOfDarkness

    #33747644 - 6 months ago

    Did a piece of fanart for art practice a year or so ago, after seeing this forum. Kind of forgot to post it until now.


    Name: Grimm Reaper


    Background: 

    Since the show's been introducing more powerful, unique Grimm, and Salem is confirmed to be able to control and influence them, this would be an attempt at making a Grimm that is custom-tailored to hunt Hunters and Huntresses, and adapt to their tactics.

    (If you really want to tie it into the lore as it currently exists, perhaps it could only be created if Salem manages to get her hands on the Creation Relic)

    The current head-canon would be that after being "born", it would be taught how to fight by the rest of Salem's faction (allowing it to learn how to fight like an actual Hunter/Huntress), then tasked with tracking down specific targets.


    Personality: (Yes, it actually has one, somewhat)

    Mostly cold and focused on the current goal above all else - however, as a Grimm, strong emotions have a tendency to distract its focus for a few moments (although as an very intelligent Grimm, this is a weakness that it could quickly learn to overcome)


    Powers (since it has no Aura, and therefore no Semblance): Grimm

    - It can give orders to, and coordinate, other Grimm

    - It can absorb other Grimm in order to heal, grow stronger, or spawn at a later time

    - It is capable of forming weapons using its own Grimm Essence


    Weaponry: Umbral Carapace

    Any weaponry that the Grimm Reaper forms is made of a combination of Black Grimm Essence (the basic black "stuff" that all Grimm seem to be made of), with any Blades or Plating being made from the standard White "Bones/Shell/Armor" that most Grimm have.

    This means that the Grimm Reaper can form most any sort of weaponry that it could see or imagine, mostly being limited by its own creativity or experience.

    However, its standard weapon is its own version of a Scythe, which it can bend and deform as needed. (The Talons on the end are also fully functional, and can be used for slashing, bludgeoning, and grabbing)


    Appearance/Theme:

    Obviously Grimm, but it also has pretty strong Bird and Bone themes.

    (I guess you could call it a... Bird of Prey)


    2306253-1544594496946-GrimmReaper_Charac


    2306253-1544594796471-Reaper_ShowRender_


    2306253-1544594796472-Reaper_ShowRender_


    Oh, and here's a link to the 3D Model in an interactive viewer:


    https://sketchfab.com/models/2bea533d29704dc88fa0836c052970dd


    I like doing concept art, but 3D Modeling is my jam.

    Hope it's interesting!

    ~ArkOfDarkness

  • AnimeAnnemarie

    AnimeAnnemarie

    #33747650 - 6 months ago

    In reply to VoshTheStampede No wonder the world of Remnant goes to shit then. Everybody but the main characters sucks at being a huntsman.

    In reply to rt-201812100218574938970 Hahaha, it's far from perfect. That's a very old drawing of mine, it's over a year old at this point. And there have been tons of people in this thread that draw well. But thanks anyway!

  • Jacinta-Capelety

    Jacinta-Capelety

    #33747659 - 6 months ago

    Sorta-spoiler for volume 6 episode 6:

    CRWBY did a better job of making those Apathy grimm absolutely terrifying than I initially gave them credit for. I, no joke here, legitimately just woke up from a nightmare with one in it! CRWBY has successfully made LITERAL nightmare fuel!

  • Ace-of-Rogues

    Ace-of-Rogues FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Main Weapon: Rapier Wit

    #33747674 - 6 months ago

    In reply to Jacinta-Capelety

    At least you woke up...

  • Jacinta-Capelety

    Jacinta-Capelety

    #33747682 - 6 months ago

    In reply to Ace-of-Rogues

    Fair point.

  • AnimeAnnemarie

    AnimeAnnemarie

    #33747687 - 6 months ago

    By the way, I would really appreciate some in-depth feedback on Sky one page back :D

  • Jacinta-Capelety

    Jacinta-Capelety

    #33747689 - 6 months ago

    In reply to AnimeAnnemarie

    I'll be honest, I probably won't be able to come up with a lot to say about this character (although to be fair, that's kind of a good thing), but since you asked for an in depth response, I'll make an attempt.


    Name: Follows the color rule and isn't a nightmare to pronounce, nothing to complain about here.


    Personality: Believable and was logically influenced by his backstory, again, nothing I can find to complain about.


    Looks: Gonna be brutally honest here, the design isn't exactly my cup of tea. The drawing itself is high quality and VERY well colored and shaded, but the poofy hair and clothes just strikes me as an unpleasant contrast with the harsh edges and angles of the weapon. I think this is probably more of a personal nitpick than a complaint of the character. I can understand that he just happens to have poofy hair and enjoys wearing soft poofy clothing, I can see the logic behind WHY he would have those contrasting elements, I just personally feel like it clashes too much. Maybe it's just me. I wouldn't be too surprised if a lot of other people said they think the design is fine, but this character doesn't have many things I can complain about, and you asked for an in depth review, so I had to complain about SOMETHING, and the design was the only thing I had something resembling a logical nit-pick for.


    Backstory: Again, makes sense. Believably influences his personality and behavior. I ain't got anything to complain about here.


    Weapon: Looks cool as $#!t and has a very unique design, but I gotta wonder how painful it can be just bending his fingers like that all the time. You ever try holding that position with your fingers? Not fun. And it makes bending them difficult.


    Emblem: Simple yet effective. I'm starting to sound like a broken record here, but I got nothing to complain about here.


    Semblance: Cool as $#!t, and something I don't think I've ever seen elsewhere. Although it'd be nice to have a descriptor for how it ties in with his personality (I wouldn't blame you if you didn't add one though. I've been procrastinating on adding a Semblance-Personalty Tie-In section to the bios of my characters for basically ever).


    9.9/10 Only thing I could complain about was a personal nit-pick.