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Funny quotes by teachers.

Posts (2953)

  • Tiffany

    Tiffany

    #609899 - 14 years ago

    "Your heads go down, so does the temperature. You won't wake up! Hypothermea sets in, you won't know what to do. I have ice tongs in my dest and I know how to use them!"
    - Mr. Hunt (History) starting up a movie. -10th Grade

    "You must get ready for the tauste!"
    - Mrs. Loethen (Chemistry) - 10th Grade.
    tauste- test

    "I may be an easy target, but I am NO A PEICE OF LITERATURE!"
    -Mr. Clark (English) - 8th Grade

    "No... no... you cannot sit Idle! Now get your stoff!"
    Mrs. Loethen (Chemistry) - 10th Grade
    stoff- stuff

    "Who are we gonna lose to? SUCKIN' STACEY'S MOM?!"
    -Mr. Higgins (Band) serious about a band competition - 10th Grade

    "the Boston tea party was uh... you know"
    *Hears something outside and walks out there still talking*
    Keith: Mr. Hunt, we're in here!
    -Mr Hunt (Government/History) - 10th Grade

  • Dublyner

    Dublyner

    #609901 - 14 years ago

    "Remember I'm your teacher, not your friend. I already have friends, I don't need any more."
    -Mr. Naisbitt, AP European History, first day of class

  • Corpse

    Corpse

    #609902 - 14 years ago

    "Have you ever had a really wet blow job? -Mrs. Mathews" -8th Grade

  • ArmachamOwns

    ArmachamOwns

    #609903 - 14 years ago

    "Good enough for government work" -Mr. Marando

  • Namons

    Namons

    #609905 - 14 years ago

    In reply to Tiffany, #1:

    What the fock are you babblin' about?

    "You don't want a Red Rider BB Rifle, you'll put your eye out..."
    - Miss Shields (Homeroom) "A Christmas Story"

  • 1nF3Rn0

    1nF3Rn0

    #609906 - 14 years ago

    "Im going to kill you ryan!" Dr. Klimble- Chemistry

  • Tiffany

    Tiffany

    #609907 - 14 years ago

    In reply to Namons, #5:

    Reminds me of Mr Phillips. He was so funny. "Quiet you babblin' child"

    I remember him telling us this camping story. Him and his family all went out camping and tehre were these raccoons by their spot. Well his family all left to get ready for bed and he wanted to get rid of the raccoons before they got back, so they wouldn't get in their stuff. So he threw rocks in their direction, he was also the track/basketball coach and threw it a little too hard, he knocked it out and it fell down a cliff... all the raccoons jumped after it off the cliff...

    not pretty.

  • Halo53

    Halo53

    #609909 - 14 years ago

    Remember I go to an all boys private school where we wear jackets, ties etc

    "Alright, which one of you kids are gay? C'mon, this is an all boys school, I know you're out there."
    Teacher during orientation

    "Those are some homosexual ankle socks you have there."
    English teacher this year

    "I like guys"
    Same english teacher. Meant to say he likes teaching guys because when he fails us, it's more of a "Oh, you got kme" then a "My parents are going to kill me"

    "Just... shut up"
    SS teacher last year (He also did not know my name. I dont think I ever participated)

    "I know masturbation is all that's on your minds but we have to continue class"
    Religion teacher

    "You don't want to get attacked by a short polish guy with a bowling pin"
    My science teacher referring to himself

    "Yes, I have a daughter your age. I also have a gun collection."
    English teacher

    Thats all I can think of now...


  • CronoStrife

    CronoStrife

    #609911 - 14 years ago

    In reply to Tiffany, #7:

    "STUDY HAARRD!"-Mr. Hopper, a few years ago in US History Honors

  • Corey

    Corey

    #609914 - 14 years ago

    "Your brother was the only person man enough to stand up and say IAM WOMAN!'' - Mr. Kilarski

  • Xast

    Xast

    #609915 - 14 years ago

    "Don't come up to me and tell me your sick, YOU CAN DIE! Just remember this: you are going to leave a hole in MY show, and I will not be at your funeral." - Mr. Ewing, Band Director

  • owlalf

    owlalf

    #609917 - 14 years ago

    "Put it in more!" Mr. Doty, Band Director talking to clarinet player
    "You need to get rougher! RRRROUGH!" Mr. Callaway, Biolab Honors teacher

  • Becca

    Becca FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RT Torturer

    #609918 - 14 years ago

    Teacher: "My son told me a really horrible joke yesterday. I laughed, because I don't want him to know that he's an enormous dork."
    Me: "How old is he?"
    Teacher: "Three."

  • doomman50

    doomman50

    #609919 - 14 years ago

    "And if you don't study for the test, YOU... SHALL NOT... PASS!!!"
    -Mr. Ishimoto (Math) - 10th Grade

  • halomasta08

    halomasta08

    #609921 - 14 years ago

    "quit being a smartass"
    Mr. Holliday, geography this year

  • GrySovCob

    GrySovCob

    #609923 - 14 years ago

    "I've seen your test, you will need a #2 pencil, a scantron and a jar of vaseline"

    Calculus 2 TA

  • Gobeler

    Gobeler

    #609924 - 14 years ago

    "The World is made up of very tiny orgasms."
    Mrs. Riggio (8th grade science)

  • Corpse

    Corpse

    #609926 - 14 years ago

    "Karen, why are you always laughing in class, I feel like you're laughing at me." -Mrs Vinnish -English 10

  • Tinuvielle

    Tinuvielle

    #609927 - 14 years ago

    "Do you drink beer? No? That's unforunate... I drink beer :D " ~one of my japanese teachers..

  • MaxWalrus

    MaxWalrus

    #609928 - 14 years ago

    Look at Hitler in this picture. Isn't he cute? - Tibor, International Affairs

    I love black people, I think everybody should own one. - Also Tibor

  • GiantDoshin

    GiantDoshin

    #609929 - 14 years ago

    "The damning of John Jay was pretty intense, and I'm not talking about boyscouts."

  • BigBen

    BigBen

    #609930 - 14 years ago

    Tenured Professors always have the best quotes for example

    "people might be poor, but as long as one is not fucking the other in the ass I'm happy" Dr. Jeffery "Dr. Jeff" Johnson Professor of Economics
    _ Same discussion
    "what?! (in response to our stares at what he had said)I hate all of you now, you will all fail"

    "this is clearly Vaginal imagry"
    Dr colins - English professor

    "Man having tenure is great, I could probably have sex with a goat in front of the library and they'd just tell me to take it elsewhere"
    Dr. Agnew (who is 55 and the chair of the Philosophy department)

    "you also have to take into account stockpiling of goods, for example I have 20 cases of Samuel Adams Autumn Lager in my garage because they only make it in the fall."
    Dr Scott - economics



  • ihk809

    ihk809

    #609933 - 14 years ago

    "It so eesay, why you not undastand?"-asian teacher my teacher told me about

  • MaxWalrus

    MaxWalrus

    #609934 - 14 years ago

    In reply to ihk809, #23:

    My Chinese professor tells us that every day.

  • Milkrosoft

    Milkrosoft

    #609935 - 14 years ago

    *I'm staring at a chick on the cross country team stretching*
    Teacher: Would you hit it?
    Me: Uh yeah?
    Teacher: Me too.