Forums > The Group of Manliness

1st Annual "Swingin' Dick" of the Year!!

Posts (30)

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112697 - 8 years ago

    That's right ladies!! The time has come for the men (and like two women) of this group to come together and decide who to crown The Group of Manliness' first "Swingin' Dick" of the Year! That's right, I said "Swingin' Dick". Now of course this doesn't just mean he's packin' a pretty devistating pork-sword, that's totally fuckin' implied! No what this means is that this is by far the baddest mother fucker to ever grace the pages of our forums thus far. This is the highest honor The Group of Manliness can bestow upon our fellow man.

    Now I thought long and hard about how to do the contest for the end of the year, and I decided to just post something anyway and see what happens. So here's how it's gonna go. I'm gonna post up all of this years "The Fucking Man" of the month winners as actual nominations. Ur hairy asses are gonna minimize the porn ur watching long enough to vote for the guy u think is the biggest badass of the bunch. Just like old times right? Fuckin wrong! The winner this time wins for the whole year! Just like everywhere else in nature, the man who weilds the biggest dick gets to lord it over everyone elses heads, especially any challenger. What that means is that, in the new year whenever there is a final poll posted for "The Fucking Man" of the Month, the "Swingin' Dick" still gets posted as one of the contestants! This is my version of the baddest guy on the room getting to embellish a bit on his life like, "Fuck Jack Black! I'm the most kick ass comedic actor on the planet! Get outta here with that shit!" However, once he gets beaten out, he's gotta wait til the end of the year for a chance to regain his title. And it doesn't end there! Every month we give a special shout out and honor to whoever had the winning "The Fucking Man" nomination (or the "handler" as I like to call them). And that's not gonna change, but this time the winning handler will be posted as "The Fucking Man" for the month of January, and will also have a chance at the title of "Swingin' Dick" of the Year next December!! So there's some pretty bitchin' new incentives for coming up with the most badass nominations throughout the year!

    How's that for wingin' it bitches!! I just came up with all that shit in like the last half hour!

    So here's the new rules, try not to fuck it up:

    1. Same voting rules apply as with "The Fucking Man" of the Month contests. However this time they will be posted as single vote polls, that way none of u pussies can bitch at me about "Mod Whoring".

    2. All nominations posted are final, and no new ones will be accepted.

    3. As much as I don't care about ur opinion, everything great in life is worth fighting for and this is no exception. Since all of the nominations are already posted, the rest of the thread y'all have free range to discuss and/or argue ur points and opinions of who u think should win and why. (This is every handlers chance to defend their winning Man of the Month nomination)

    4. If u don't like the person, don't fuckin' vote for him. It's that simple. To weed out the dumbasses, there will be no 'vote against' or 'no' button, cause that's just stupid. In fact there's only a 'Yes' and a 'Fuck Yeah!', the 'Fuck Yeah!' button counts as two (2) votes. So try and keep ur votes educated ones. I suggest getting into the discussions (or starting one) about the nominations to get some info before casting a vote.

    5. All votes are final. I'm not gonna change anything around cause u were too stupid to know who ur voting on. Especially if there's a big fuckin' picture of them posted as well! If by now u still don't know how our group contests work here, then congratulate urself for at least being able to find ur fucking keyboard. Then once u've accepted that ur failure can only be fixed by a claw hammer to the throat, go ahead and leave my group, cause there are real men here and we don't want u noobing up the place!

    6. This is it, final votes are casted here. There WILL NOT be a final poll posted at the end. This shit will continue til the end of the year AND we have a clear winner.

    So there u have it... let the games begin smiley13.gif

    P.S.
    Before any of u get on here and bitch at me about posting this so late, let me remind u all that I have a real job that doesn't involve sitting in front of a computer any longer than it takes to watch ur mother undress on my lunch breaks.


    Post edited 12/06/10 11:33PM

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112698 - 8 years ago

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    Luke Mckay, creator of RT comics and Balls 2 That, and our first ever winner of "The Fucking Man" of the Month. Luke was nominated by myself back in April of 2010. Also, if u wanna see something pretty bitchin', go back in our group news to where Luke was posted as "The Fucking Man" and read the response he left. What a kisk ass guy. Thanks again Luke!!



    Post edited 12/06/10 11:04PM

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112699 - 8 years ago

    Venture-Bros3.jpeg

    Brock Samson the bodyguard turned rogue agent in The Vunture Brothers. Easily one of the most badass animated characters of all time. Brock was nominated by myself back in May of 2010.

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112700 - 8 years ago

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    Deadpool the "merc with the mouth" from Marvel comics. This fucker is every bit as witty and kickass as he is ugly. Deadpool was nominated by Jegsimmons1 back in July 2010.

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112701 - 8 years ago

    Gordon--article_image.jpg

    Gordon Freeman of Half-Life fame. If u had the balls it would take to kill everything around u with a fuckin' crowbar, u'd probably be on this list too. Gordon was nominated by Jegsimmons1 back in August.

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112702 - 8 years ago

    Audie-Murphy.jpg

    Audie Murphy, the highest decorated soldier in American history! Porbably one of the most hardcore mother fuckers to ever walk the Earth.. seriously... look him up. Audie was nominated by myself in August.

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112703 - 8 years ago

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    Isaiah Mustafa, that's right the Old Spice guy! Apparently besides being the baddest person to ever grace a commercial, he's also a total comic book nerd (hence the picture of him posing as Luke Cage).. who knew? This was our first winning nomination made by a female member. Isaiah was nominated by Isthebear (Christina) in September.

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112704 - 8 years ago

    Daniel-Craig-as-James-Bond.jpg

    James "007" Bond. Yet another timeless man who should need no introduction. James was nominated by G_Touchdown in October.

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112705 - 8 years ago

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    Dave Grohl of Nirvana, Foo Fighters.. and damn near all the other kick ass music of my generation in one way or another. Easily one of the most versatile rockers to come along in a long time. Dave was nominated by G_Touchdown in November.

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112706 - 8 years ago

    House_MD.jpg

    Gregory House of House M.D. U all know this guy. He's the brilliantly arrogent doctor who constantly talks shit but kicks too much ass for anyone to ever be able to shut him up. Also one of my favorite shows of all time. Yeah, that Dr. House. House was nominated by DaKillaKing for December and is our final winner of this year.

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112707 - 8 years ago

    That's it kids, get this shit started smiley13.gif

  • Ashryka

    Ashryka

    #31112708 - 8 years ago

    The consistent Runner-up. aka not totally manly but we're giving him a wooden spoon for trying is...well gosh darn... me. I'm sure I'll destroy it using a combo of gunpowder and diesel, because explosions are just cool. I'm sure Killa knows what I'm talking about when I'm comparing my year to Shane Van Gisbergen's. Still, always next year. Man never gives up.

    I'm not going to hang around, because I'm busy designing an armoured riot suit for a movie, so catch you all later.

  • osiris32

    osiris32

    #31112709 - 8 years ago

    I'm gonna have to go with Audie Murphy on this one. When it comes to balls, his are large enough to make a whale feel inadequate.

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112710 - 8 years ago

    In reply to osiris32, #13:

    That happened once!

  • G_Touchdown

    G_Touchdown

    #31112711 - 8 years ago

    fuckin' bond can undress a woman with his eyes smiley13.gif when he looks at them, they drops everything. simple as that
    FUCK YEAH and to think, the youngest member of the group won TWICE smiley13.gif where was everyone?

  • Ashryka

    Ashryka

    #31112712 - 8 years ago

    In reply to G_Touchdown, #15:

    I like to think less about the womanizing aspect of a man and think more on how kickass a character is aka Deadpool (witty, well dressed, impeccable fighter) and Gordon Freeman( Crowbar swinging, monster bashing intellectual) Not every man on the planet just uses his groin to pick. I admit, in saying that, Bond is cool, if only for the suit, the marksmanship and the one liners.

  • G_Touchdown

    G_Touchdown

    #31112713 - 8 years ago

    In reply to Ashryka, #16:

    and the women
    like they say, the woman makes the man
    if you go out with a woman named pussy galore, you are a man
    ...ZING! smiley13.gif

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112714 - 8 years ago

    In reply to G_Touchdown, #17:

    Yeah, but ur forgetting one importand detail about ur man Bond. Bond women always either try to kill him or get killed themselves.

  • osiris32

    osiris32

    #31112715 - 8 years ago

    In reply to WARDOG01, #18:

    Or disappear in the plot

  • G_Touchdown

    G_Touchdown

    #31112716 - 8 years ago

    In reply to WARDOG01, #18:

    they try to kill him. they pay the price

  • osiris32

    osiris32

    #31112717 - 8 years ago

    I still say Audie Murphy.

    Why? Cause he kicked ass. For 27 months he fought the Nazis. THE FUCKING NAZIS. These guys were REAL assholes. The worst kind of assholes. Fuck zombies, zombies aren't real. The shit that James Bond does? Not fucking real, either. Oh, and before you say anything about Mr Murphy just being a warrior, the guy was a fucking actor, too. And not just once or twice, but FORTY-FOUR seperate times.

    And if you still doubt his testicularocity, read this, it's the Citation for his Medal of Honor:
    Second Lt. Murphy commanded Company B, which was attacked by six tanks and waves of infantry. 2d Lt. Murphy ordered his men to withdraw to a prepared position in a woods, while he remained forward at his command post and continued to give fire directions to the artillery by telephone. Behind him, to his right, one of our tank destroyers received a direct hit and began to burn. Its crew withdrew to the woods. 2d Lt. Murphy continued to direct artillery fire, which killed large numbers of the advancing enemy infantry. With the enemy tanks abreast of his position, 2d Lt. Murphy climbed on the burning tank destroyer, which was in danger of blowing up at any moment, and employed its .50 caliber machine gun against the enemy. He was alone and exposed to German fire from three sides, but his deadly fire killed dozens of Germans and caused their infantry attack to waver. The enemy tanks, losing infantry support, began to fall back. For an hour the Germans tried every available weapon to eliminate 2d Lt. Murphy, but he continued to hold his position and wiped out a squad that was trying to creep up unnoticed on his right flank. Germans reached as close as 10 yards, only to be mowed down by his fire. He received a leg wound, but ignored it and continued his single-handed fight until his ammunition was exhausted. He then made his way back to his company, refused medical attention, and organized the company in a counterattack, which forced the Germans to withdraw. His directing of artillery fire wiped out many of the enemy; he killed or wounded about 50. 2d Lt. Murphy's indomitable courage and his refusal to give an inch of ground saved his company from possible encirclement and destruction, and enabled it to hold the woods which had been the enemy's objective.

    THE. FUCKING. MAN. PERIOD.

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112718 - 8 years ago

    Holy shit, Bond just took the lead!! And we got Brock and Freeman both behind by 1!! I knew this was a cool idea!... damn I'm awesome! smiley8.gif

  • Ashryka

    Ashryka

    #31112719 - 8 years ago

    .In reply to osiris32, #21:

    If you're looking for War Heroes, I sing in a choir that was FORMED by retired war heroes, I sing on a weekly basis with men who fought in Vietnam or even WW2. True, they aren't the lantern jawed machines they used to be, but they can tell you stories dude. Our RSA building actually has a Vickers .303 machine gun and an AK47 captured in Vietnam 1968. So Audie doesn't really capture my vote.

  • WARDOG01

    WARDOG01

    #31112720 - 8 years ago

    In reply to Ashryka, #23:

    Are u kidding me?! Murphy was one of the most hardcore soldiers to ever live!! U disappoint me smiley2.gif

  • Ashryka

    Ashryka

    #31112721 - 8 years ago

    In reply to WARDOG01, #24:

    He's only one of the most hardcore because people saw him perform said feats.Spare a thought for the unknowns, those who acted heroically and died in battle, name unsung.
    And I seem to be disappointing you a lot so clearly our definitions vary