Ok Peoples, This month we celebrate the manliest FILM DIRECTORS!!!
same rules apply, must be real, and must include picture and a reason why he is a fucking man with a big camera.
ok you dirty bitches!
The Fucking Man Of The Month April
#31178296 - 8 years ago
this man will fuck your mother faster than you can say "I'm Batman"
CHRISTOPHER MOTHER FUCKIN' NOLAN
thats right, mother fuckers, Chris Nolan is my nomination, and theres nothing you can do about it
before him, DC had some shit worth movies
Superman 2, 3, and Returns
Batman Forever (shoulda been like Duke Nukem... eeyo!)
and how could we forget Batman And Robin?
but then Chris Nolan walks in, tells all the women to drop their panties and all the men to GTFO (no, really, it actually happened. I was there helping him... he then told me to GTFO)
Batman Begins was how Batman movies SHOULD be made
it actually INVOLVED detective work, dark atmosphere, and awesome action
but Nolan wasen't satisfied, oh no
he then gets a gay cowboy and turns him into the most badass mother fucker Batman ever threw a Batarang at
we all saw The Dark Knight
if you haven't consider killing yourself, but not before you've seen the movie
you need SOME sort of salvation
and also, who the fuck else gets Michael Kaine, Morgan Freeman, and Christian Bale all into one movie?
only THIS fucking guy
and also, all of his movies have been over the 60% mark
very few directors can accomplish this
and your director is...?
oh, and he did the greatest movie of all time. SUCK IT DOWNNNN
#31178299 - 8 years ago
In reply to G_Touchdown, #2:
In reply to jegsimmons1, #4:
I said a Director with a capital D. Christopher's good movies can be counted on one hand after a carpentry accident. However I'm going to give the group a week before submitting my idea of a Director, unless someone sensible takes it first.
#31178301 - 8 years ago
In reply to Ashryka, #5:
In reply to jegsimmons1, #6:
Y'know... that's a really tough call to make.. but in all honesty, I'd have to agree with Ash on this one. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE Nolan's movies. I really do, they're without a doubt badass. But when u take ALL other Directors under consideration, manly movies AND personal manliness... I just don't think he's been in the game long enough to hold that title. It just feels more like we're picking him just cause we know him better.. it's all about todays standards for what he's done in just the last few years.. it's all still in the forefront of our minds. I think he still needs to take his lumps and earn that fucking title.
#31178302 - 8 years ago
In reply to WARDOG01, #7:
With that said, I have a nomination of my own. Nothin too flashy if u don't know who he is, but not only has he created some of the manliest films/characters in film history, but he's also been the sole inspiration to countless film directors to this day. This mans film making career lasted almost 60 years and his films are still being revamped by modern generations of film makers and animators. At the end of his carreer he accepted an Oscar for Lifetime Achievement and was stated as being one of the 5 most influential Asians in the last 100 years. This man is, in my opinion, the Audie Murphy of film directing..... Chris Nolan can't quite say that just yet. The man I'm talking about of course is the legendary director, Akira Kurosawa!
*Clears Throat* Rashomon, Drunken Angel, Seven Samurai.... suck it.
Also... only a sheer homo would ever vote against Kurosawa.... just sayin.
#31178304 - 8 years ago
Ahhh, screw it. I was never very patient.
You know who this is. I know who this is. Now let me reel off ten excuses why he's the best.
Indiana Jones(multiple movies),
Saving Private Ryan,
War of the Worlds,
And these are just some of the ones he Directed. As a Producer, he is also responsible for several dozen more.Oh, and not only has he directed and produced some of the best movies ever, he's worked with some of the most badass actors as well. Here is a FULL list of his directed, produced, written and sometimes acted filmography.
Steven Spielberg, gentlemen. Where's your director now?
#31178305 - 8 years ago
You know who this motherfucker is?
This dude arguably made some of the greatest films of all time. Not to mention a few of the most manly ones starring everyone's favorite Austrian. As well, his achievements in the world of movies have been unsurpassed by any mind as inventive as his.
My fellow Canadian bro has kicked so much cinematic ass it makes Michael Bay look like he plays with firecrackers. this man could reduce The most jaded man to tears, because EVERYONE CRIED watching Titanic. Anyone who says otherwise is a dirty liar.
People often wonder what Jimmy C does when he's not directin' kick-ass films. Well, he's out there making his movies become real and stuff. Like putting dudes on Mars with super awesome cameras, or having devised awesome ways to clan up last year's oil spill. (Because Fuck you, BP.) And after all that, he invents shit like new cinematography tools and methods.
Science. It works, Bitches!
James Cameron is an awesome Director and a world without him would be a less epic one.
#31178307 - 8 years ago
WARNING! BATSHIT INSANE RANT!!!! WARNING!!!
FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!
i love terminator and aliens, BUT FUCK JAMES CAMERON AND HIS BULLSHIT!!! he had my respect until Avatar, the WORST movie to happen to sci fi since.....uh.....well battlefield earth!
that fucker has STOLEN credit after credit and has raped science until i bleed from my eyes. he stole plots, he stole technology (remeber golem from lord of the rings?) and he stole 13 bucks from me! (damn straight i got it back)
hell i can even say titanic was good, but avatar made me lose ALL of my respect from him. it is not only one of the worst scifi movies made, but it has reached my number one spot on most HATED!!! and i should like it!! blue alien babes and marines!!! but no...the marines were shown as rednecks and mercenaries and i saw more bare MALE navi ass then i saw women navi.
and until that fuck apologizes for insulting me being white, american, military supporter, and thinking im fucking stupid; i refuse to call him manly!! and he fails at story telling!!
(first person to say that it was "an experience" or like a "Ride" and didnt need a story....i will rip their balls off and choke them with them.)
.....*huff*.......i feel better now...
#31178308 - 8 years ago
In reply to jegsimmons1, #13:
I must say that I agree that Avatar was his weakest film. But just to correct things such a golem From LoTR; Golum was captured in a different manor. What was revolutionary back then is now used widely in the industry and even in games like Guitar Hero. Hell, even Monty uses the same techniques of motion capture.
Keep in mind that an original story is difficult, so without the need for begging, I simply ask this be pardoned for something more credible. for instance that J. C. wrote the original screenplay for Spiderman, and was sadly uncredited.
And now my Rant:
What The FUCK?!?
Of all the fucking movies to come out, is their anything new and different? There's like a million sequels and reboots all for the sake of brand recognition; the absolute way to familiarize and revamp, franchises. DAMMIT TO HELL THESE "DIRECTORS"! And of course if it's not reboots or sequels, it's taking another franchise and using them magic of cinema to become an introduction for new consumers. the first two Spiderman movies were great, but what the fuck is with all these comic book character getting movies? And you know what, millions of people will go see these, because IT'S THEIR ONLY FUCKING OPTION!!
#31178309 - 8 years ago
In reply to clineb788, #14:
i agree with your rant, but originality is not hard, just takes time. so i never recognize "there is no more originality" as an excuse.
but, on golum. the company that did golum was WETA workshops (the best SPFX company ever)and the same technique they used for golum was used in avatar. which in actuality, is the modern day version of ROTOSCOPING. which is what Ralph Bashki is known for.
i while i still enjoy most of his work, i also must point out that most of what he did was in fact based on something he did not create. and when he did write avatar and filmed it, it really showed exactly what kind of director he was...a special effects director (much like George Lucas) not a story director.
oh and it REALLY showed his political agenda and i found it insulting.
#31178310 - 8 years ago
Well kids, these are some pretty damn good nominations, as well as some good points... BUT the facts still have to be taken into account.. especially since we're looking for MANLIEST director, NOT coolest or best or most modern or cutting edge:
Chris Nolan: We all agree that he makes good movies, no one argues with that. HOWEVER, he's still too new to have proven his manliness. He's still EXPECTED to make blockbusters cause everyone still thinks his ass hole smells like gummy-bears. He's never had to face the firing squad that all real directors have to face when they make the rookie mistake of thinking it's time to try something different. The man still needs to take some lumps, have some real criticism under his belt and see how he handles it. Once he gets that wild hair and tells himself that we're done with Dark Knight and are ready to accept Inception 2: Electric Boogaloo, and gets a good taste of old fashioned American movie-critic fisting without putting on womans underwear and hanging himself in a hotel closet THEN we'll talk.
Spielberg: This man can eat a dick. Some great films in the past, I'll give him that. But he's lost every bit of Man-Card credibility for what he's done to Indiana Jones out of his pud-pulling love affair with aliens. I mean seriously!!.. that was his him and Lucas manliest creation, and he turned him into a complete PUSSY! And yes, I realize that faggy bitch George Lucas had a say in it all too, but really?!.. what real man would EVER, in their right mind, go out of their way to pussify such an icon of pimpness as Indiana Jones?! Don't u fucking get it?! Jones was their ONLY actual badass MAN they've made, and they fucking RUINED him!!... FUCK Spielberg.
James Cameron: Yeah we get it, Avatar sucked, fine whatever. But he's made some pretty damn good movies too, Avatar DOES NOT over shadow how totally epic his other films are. There I said it...... TITANIC however, totally fucking DOES!! After THAT whiney-ass menstrual-fest, I'm fucking CONVINCED that James Cameron has a vagina! I don't give a shit what else he does with his carreer, he fucking fails.
Akira Kurosawa: He's made 30 films and they've all fucking rocked! That's 60 years of kicking ass! And after his death he's still inspiring others, and his creations are still badass. Kurosawa FTW
Ps. I'm fucking BACK bitches!!
Post edited 3/09/11 10:30PM
#31178311 - 8 years ago
I cancel my previous nomination, actually, I've got a better one. Someone who is a lot less known, but was so much more of a cool dude.
He was an incredible man, a perfectionist, who blew every previous held ideal out of the water. 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Shining (HEERRRRREEEE"S JOHNNY!), Clockwork Orange, the man redrew the lines of what could be done in the movie theatre. He also did Dr Strangelove, Paths Of Glory, Lolita, Spartacus, Full Metal Jacket and Eyes Wide Shut.
Most modern day directors cite Kubrick as their inspiration, and while he wasn't the most good looking creature on the earth, he had a beard that wildlife could get lost in, and was quite firmly in charge.
#31178314 - 8 years ago
ok, I think I have one more dierctor up my sleeve...
QUENTIN FUCKING TARANTINO
this guy is practically SHITTING awards from his amazing collection of movies
he writes, directs, and even ACTS in his own movies
he made a hot woman badass in Kill Bill
brought together an AMAZING cast in Pulp Fiction
and killed Hitler in Inglorious Basterds (a personal favourite)
chainsaws are manly. he is holding a chainsaw. OH SHIT, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???
do we EVER need to be reminded of how fucking amazing this guy is???
he even helped direct Sin City, which as we all know was fucking awesome
he's changed the way we look at "b" movies, which is someting very few directors can lay claim to
he always takes an idea and finds a way to make it EXPLODE in the best fucking way possible
bitches don't know
#31178316 - 8 years ago
The fact that this man hasn't been mentioned is an OUTRAGE:
That's right, Martin Mother-fucking Scorsese. First off, for sheer manliness, he told God himself to fuck off. Why? Because he was supposed to become a priest, but then gave god a major middle finger and said "Fuck you, I'm gonna make movies, and they're gonna be kickass"
And he DID. I mean, come on. Look at just a couple of the 51 films he's directed:
Taxi Driver: You talkin' to me?
Raging Bull: You punch like you take it up the ass.
Goodfellas: What do you mean, funny?
Gangs of New York: Motherfucking TOP HATS
He's got awards coming out his ass, he's made some of the most influential movies in the biz, and he has eyebrows that can make him fly. How can he NOT be manly as hell?