Aaron's Letter:

>From: ***
>To: ***
>Subject: Renting XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxx
>Date: Tue, 01 Aug 2006 14:40:36 -0600
>
>Hi Brian, I am a student at the University of Ottawa, and I need to
>find somewhere to live between the beginning of September 2006 and the
>end of April 2007. I am interested in apartments that range in monthly
>rent between 300$ and 500$, that include furniture, and that provide
>telephone, internet, and laundry services. Traveling time to the
>university is also important to me.
>
>I have looked at the University of Ottawa’s Student Housing Billboard,
>and know that your apartment at XXXXXXXXXX meets my needs in
>principle. However, do you still have rooms for rent available that
>meet these criteria? What procedure do you go through with a possible
>tenant when renting an apartment? When can I come to Ottawa to look at
>the apartment and rent it?
>
>I will be in Ottawa on Saturday August 4th and Sunday August 5th to
>tour and rent an apartment. Please let me know if and at what time I
>can visit your apartment on either of these days.
>
>Thank you,
>
>Aaron Pegg
>
>Bonjour Brian, je suis un étudiant à l’Université d’Ottawa, et je
>cherche présentement de l’hébergement pour l’année scolaire
>prochainâ€'entre le commencement de septembre 2006 et la fin d’avril
>2007. J’aimerais louer un appartement à un taux mensuel d’environ 300$
>à 500$. Il devrait aussi être meublé, et offrir des services de
>téléphone, d’Internet, et de buanderie. Je serais aussi très content de
>trouver un appartement assez près de l’Université.
>
>J’ai fréquenté le babillard de logement hors campus offert par
>l’Université d’Ottawa, et ainsi je sais que votre appartement à XXXXX
>XXXXXXXXX offre représente en principe ce dont je cherche.
>Cependant, j’aimerais confirmer que vous avez encore une telle chambre
>libre. En surcroît, j’aimerais connaître le processus que vous
>poursuivez avec des tenants prospectifs, et quand je pourrais venir à
>Ottawa pour visiter et louer un appartement.
>
>Je serais à Ottawa le vendredi 4 aout et le samdi 5 aout pour visiter
>et louer un appartement. Communiquez-moi s’il vous plait si, et à quel
>heure soit le vendredi ou le samedi, je peux visiter votre appartement.
>
>Merci,
>
>Aaron



Bryan's Response:

Dear "Aron",

I can tell, by how generic your e-mail was (and how you neglected to spell
my name correctly), that you've been sending out a lot of e-mails, heh heh.
Good strategy - I should have done that when I started responding to rental
inquiries.

Just your luck! You fit our apartment needs! We're looking for an
individual who's willing to pay between $300 and $500 a month!... Let's
say... $378, as a rough figure. As a sitenote, nine-tenths of our room
still meets your criteria, as outlined in the below e-mail. Traveling time
was listed as simply 'important' - a term which is vague at best.

Transit time could possibly be described as "quick". However, depending on
your perspective, it could also be described as "sloth-like", "warp-speed",
or the every popular, "roughly equivalent to the airspeed velocity of an
un-laden swallow (European)"! The bus ride averages about 5-8 minutes to
the school. The bus stop is 30-60 seconds away from our apartment.
However, the time may vary depending if you decide to take an elevator
(which averages 2-5 minutes to arrive at our floor), or simply decide to
walk down 3 floors of stairs instead (which takes about 30 seconds). So,
from door to school you're looking at about 6-9.5 minutes if you take the
stairs, and 7.5-14 minutes if you take the elevator.

Our procedure for selecting a roommate is fairly straight forward. He or
she is asked to participate in tasks which increase gradually both
difficulty and absurdity. When the difficulty (and/or absurdity) of the
task reaches levels equal to or greater than the applicant's skill, we place
them alone in the room-for-rent, and flick the lights on-and-off repeatedly
until the room itself is awakened from its deep slumber and makes its own
judgement on the applicant. Should the stuccoed-consciousness of the room
accept the applicant, he or she is rewarded for their efforts with fudge!
If rejected, the applicant is instead rewarded with a bowl of considerably
less appetizing (but substantially healthier!) All-Bran®.

If you're still reading right now, you've probably realized I'm just being
humourous. The apartment fits your description, is still available, and is
very close to the school. Our application process is nothing more than a
simple conversation with the applicant when they come to see the room.

We will be making our decision on Sunday, August 5th. All visits and room
viewings will be finished by Saturday, August 4th. So, if you have time to
tour on the 4th, let me know!

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to drop me a line at XXX-XXX-XXXX. This is also the number to call to set up a meeting for Saturday.

Hope this answered your questions (and possibly amused you?)!

Sincerely,
Bryan

PS - I'd translate this to French, but I'm not sure what the French words
are for "slumber", or "warp". Heh heh. I sure hope you like a sense of
humour!
PPS - For future reference, it's "Bryan", not "Brian". If you promise to
spell my name right, I promise to do likewise... "Aron". :)