I received the following personal comment yesterday from my good friend Halochief89 after he sent me a link to this cool (but mildly anti-Nintendo, lol) image he drew:

He elnea verstehst du was ich sage, oder ich mußt dir es erklären. Kannst du mir zeigen, wie sowieso du deine Comics nicht die Tätigkeit Tabelle eine färbst, aber die, denen du mich zeichnest, die anderen Künstler wie mckay Luke und galim gefragt haben. Irgendeine Weisen yea Hoffnung, die ich erhalte, mit dir bald auf Phasenschwätzchen zu sprechen.


Now, I barely speak English, let alone German. The only phrases I know in German were taught to me by three different friends:

Ich brauche eine gurke! (I need a cucumber!)
Wo ist das Klo? (Where is the bathroom?)
and the dubious phrase: Machen zee Schnell, schvinehund! (Go fast, pigdog!) which I am pretty sure isn't actually German.

I think only the middle friend was actually trying to be helpful.

So, anyway, I plugged Halochief89's message into the Babel fish translator at AltaVista to figure out what he was asking... and sent a reply. Anyone who has ever used an online translator, and then plugged the "translation" back into the "German-to-English" translator, knows that a lot of what you get is complete gibberish. Here is the conversation Halochief89 and I have had thus far, with the reverse Babel translations in italics:

HALOCHIEF89: He elnea verstehst du was ich sage, oder ich mußt dir es erklären. Kannst du mir zeigen, wie sowieso du deine Comics nicht die Tätigkeit Tabelle eine färbst, aber die, denen du mich zeichnest, die anderen Künstler wie mckay Luke und galim gefragt haben. Irgendeine Weisen yea Hoffnung, die ich erhalte, mit dir bald auf Phasenschwätzchen zu sprechen.
He elnea you understand which I legend, or I must to you it explain. You can show me, how you do not color your Comics anyway the activity table one, but those, for which you draw me, which asked other artist like mckay hatch and galim. Any pointing yea hope, which I receive to speak with you soon on Phasenschwaetzchen.

ME: He Halochief89. Warum bin ich Ausschnitt Verbindung zur Hälfte? Nicht können Sie in Ihrer eigenen Abbildung färben? Ich habe kaum Zeit, meine eigenen Projekte zu tun. Ich habe nicht Zeit, Ihre Projekte auch zu tun. Haltbare Scheiße, Sherlock. Ihr Kamerad, Elnea
Hey Halochief89. Why am I cutout connection to the half? Can't you color in own your illustration? I have hardly time my own projects to do. I do not have time to also do your projects. Durable sh*t, Sherlock**. Its comrade, Elnea

HALOCHIEF89: Nr. Im dich fragend, wie du Ihr durch Schritte färbst
NR. Asking in you, how you color it by steps

ME: Lichten Sie es innen ab. Bilden Sie dann den Kontrast sehr hoch, also sind die Linien sehr schwarz. Färben Sie ihn dann innen. Welches Programm verwenden Sie?
Make a blueprint it inside. Form then the contrast very highly, therefore the lines are very black. Color it then inside. Which program do you use?

HALOCHIEF89Ich benutze photoshop Elemente 3.0 yea so Hows das Verrottenkriegplakat. Ein Photo von ihm machen.
I use photoshop elements 3,0 yea in such a way Hows the gang war poster. A photo of it make.

ME: Ich habe keine frelling Idee, über was Sie sprechen. Können wir auf, französisches oder spanisch zu sprechen versuchen? Lassen Sie uns wieder beginnen.
I do not have frelling idea, about which you speak. Can we try to speak up, French or Spanish? Let us again begin.


...so you see my problem. I can't actually send a message in English, because that would be admitting defeat. But I have no frelling (note, also spelled "frelling" in German) idea what he's asking, and I am also fairly confident he has no idea what I'm trying to say either. How do I get out of this? I tried to suggest trying French or Spanish because I actually think I could puzzle through those messages. I'm thinking of pretending I've suddenly lost the ability to type. Or possibly starting a new account. Any suggestions of how to get out of this sticky internet etiquette conundrum would be greatly appreciated!

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Also, go vote at the lyric contest. Only a few days left to pick the winners!

Also, send me your messages for Ben Browder at BensFanBook@mac.com. Like before Battlestar Galactica is on Friday... which is 8PM CST.

Machen zee Schnell!!

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Today's Vocabulary Words
etiquette
conundrum
Phasenschwaetzchen <----I have no frelling idea what the frell this means.

frell

PS: My son Spyton can't seem to stop playing this game.



**The author does not encourage the use of the phrase "Durable sh*t, Sherlock" with any but the closest of friends. And even then, it should only be used in German.