Well, as promised, I am going to psychoanalyze myself based on the lectures I’ve had in my Psychology class. Of course, I’m an engineer, so this will be a little odd, but whatever.

So, the first applicable lecture we had was Love and Hate. I like to call this Why Jonelle Has No Love Life. Love and attraction start with one’s physical features, seeing as how you can’t tell if someone is smart, funny or whatever at first glance. Seeing as how I’m a woman, I’ll just be covering what it is that men look for in women. In a woman’s face, a man looks for big eyes, small nose, high cheekbones, full lips, a small chin, a large distance between the top of the eyes and the eyebrows and a large smile. This is a problem for me. My eyes are small, my nose is average sized for my face, I have no cheekbones, my lips aren’t that full on top of the fact that my mouth is small and I don’t smile all that much. The only thing I’ve got it, because my eyes are small, there’s a nice space between them and my eyebrows. Moving on down, men look for women who are thin thin thin, except in two places. I’m sure all you boys know what I’m talking about. Well, Jonelle is not thin and lacks the… assets that men like. Personality wise, I’m both masculine and feminine witch is great, but most people won’t get past the physical evaluation part to ever learn that. Hate… we didn’t talk much about, but I did learn that due to a form of hate called sexism I am likely to earn less than my male counterparts for the same work done.

Moving on to Intelligence, I found that there are seven different intelligences: Language, Logic, Musical, Spatial, Bodily Kinesthetic, Interpersonal and Intrapersonal. Now of those seven, I’d say that I’m pretty damn good at five of them, and around average on the other two. Not too bad, which means I’m fair intelligent, but you all knew that already. As far as IQ, while it is a nice idea, it’s not a broad enough measure of intelligence.

Let’s keep moving. Next we talked about Emotion. I, unfortunately, am slightly towards the negative end of the spectrum in the emotions I feel, but I feel them deeply, which means I have better relationships. However, I am not as expressive as I need to be, meaning my relationships and mental and physical health are worse than they could be.

I learned I was a psychological anomaly when we talked about getting bored. In general, when you reward someone for doing something they like they do whatever that is less. Well, the more you reward me for doing what I like to do, the more likely it is that I’ll do it some more. I love being an anomaly.

Moving along, we talked about Eating Disorders (*blech*). However, I learned that I am not susceptible to developing an eating disorder because, despite the fact I live in one of the most competitive societies for physical attractiveness, I don’t give a damn about the ‘ideal’ image that men have of women. Not surprising to those of you who know me well. I love ditching the ideals. The ideals suck. Also, I don’t really have a mood disorder, maybe mild depression, but it’s a seasonal thing that most everyone who lived or lives in Washington has.

Speaking of screwing the norms, let’s talk about Gender. Men are slightly better at mental rotation, spatial perception, assertiveness, body esteem and direct aggression while women are better at spelling, language, speech production and indirect aggression. Like I said before I’m definitely in touch with both genders within my personality, seeing as how I’ve got wonderful spatial perception and am very assertive all while being able to produce speech and have an excellent command of language. Of course I’m equally able to be aggressive both directly and indirectly. Continuing with that same idea, I have the positives and negatives of the female role, along with the male. Starting with the female traits, I’ve definitely been able to choose a career more freely than others, but I will have to deal with a gender pay gap and I can be so other-centered that people can and often will take advantage of me and there is nothing I can do to stop it. As far as the male side of things, I am assertive and confident, but I’ve been so ingrained with emotional toughness that I have less of a social support than I should.

Moving on to personality, we covered Freudian personality briefly before moving on to more recent theories. As far as Freud, I am a very Ego driven person, which is not surprising, seeing as how my main character is the Ego of the Empire (if you have no idea what I’m talking about, don’t worry. I’m just rambling a little). At the same time though, I have an Id and Super Ego that are both very powerful, but the Ego knows how to rein them in and use that to the advantage of the whole person. With the later theories, we focused mainly on Carl Rogers and his ideas of Actualizing Tendency, the Organism Valuing Process, the Need for Positive Regard and the Phenomenological (or Perceived) Self. The good thing is my Actualizing Tendency is very strong and doesn’t follow the gender roles we talked about earlier so I’m not really afraid of being me. My OVP, which is what tells you if you’re doing the right thing for you, is very happy right now. I’m apparently doing exactly what I should be doing for me and my personality type. Oddly enough I’m an INTJ (as shown by the Myers-Brigs personality test) and the number one things that INTJs are supposed be are scientists or engineers. Yay for me knowing exactly what I want to do with my life. The Need for Positive Regard is a little odd for me. I’m one of those people who really couldn’t give a damn about what other people think about me, so my need for regard is very low. Now the last part is a little odd. The Perceived Self versus the Actual Self is the big thing here, but it’s very hard to judge in oneself. But I do know that the longer I live the more and more my Perceived Self will become the Actual Self. We’ll just have to see.