So, tonight I made some beef stew and biscuits for dinner ('cause that's how I roll, baby) because I finally got a chance to use my new knives that fellow guitar ensemble member smolesmo recently sold me. She's taken a part-time job working for a cutlery company and so I took the opportunity to buy some new knives, as the knife set I have had until now is really a "knife" set only in that the utensils are vaguely oblong, marginally pointy and are only reasonably good at opening up packages.

So, Smolesmo set me up with these knives, and just as a surgeon, if nothing else, it just feels so good to have some good knives in my hands again. These things are amazing. They cut through meat and veggies like butter. Seriously, I just rest the blade on a tomato and it sinks in. Oh baby. Of course it is only a matter of time before someone lops off a finger or paw by accident.

I turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "Mazha! Get out of the sink!"

There was a clatter of dishes, and she came stumbling out, glaring at me, dragging a bloody paw behind her.

I sighed. "Mazha, I keep telling you not to use the good knives. You can't use them properly without thumbs. Why won't you listen?"

As she limped off, I heard her mutter under her breath, "Jerk! Just wait 'til you're asleep!"

Now I live in fear.


But I bring it up because earlier today I was drawing out a diagram of a noradrenergic synapse for a handout for class (yikes) so I had my graphics pen and tablet hooked up. (Stay with me, here.) Then tonight after class I came home and was working on this music I am writing for an outside project; it is supposed to be "techno-ish" so I am learning about synthesized sound (slowly, through books and videos and frequent trips to the music and Apple store) and I decided to try this Logic music synthesizer called "Sculpture"... again. Look at that thing. The controller takes up almost the entire screen and has a zillion switches and buttons, which is very daunting. I've been struggling with it for ages (3 months).

BUT... I still had my graphics pen and tablet hooked up... and with the pen hooked up, suddenly moving all the switches and dials and buttons became extremely easy. MUCH easier than the mouse. And fun. Really, really fun! There's a ball in the middle you move around and it changes the sound. I was having so much FUN! And then my son Spyton finally screamed from the next room, "AHHH!!! Stop! STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! STOP IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!"

Because I'd been playing the same 16 beats over and over and OVER again with all synth different sounds wiggling all the little switches with my pen which sounded sort of like: Woowa waooowa Wabba wabba Wooboo booBOOBOO BAH BAH BAH beezeezeezeeZEEZAHHAHH NOOO NOOO Lalalal Dit dit dit ni ni ni na na na nene bebebeba bababab BABAB BOBOBOBO nerneenernn neNNNEEENnn nnzzzorrr nzornrzz zoeeenn zzeerrnzz.... etc. for over an hour.

Sorry, Spyton. I really wasn't trying to drive you insane. (This time.)

The point is, with decent knives I actually enjoyed making stew... which usually I don't like because of all the chopping and mess. And with the graphics pen, using the synthesizer was actually fun.

Uh. So the point is... uh... if you have the right tools, chores are fun.


Also, I should add here as a personal and gross-eyeball-related note, that after I was separated, my ex got all my tools and I slowly had to buy all new ones. But you just have to have both a flat head and a Phillips head screwdriver, and a hammer with a claw on the back. And a level. Um... and a power drill if possible., and above all, you need eye protection, even when just hammering a nail into the wall. You'd be surprised how many people would come into the ER because a flake of a nail or something would fly off when hammering. Or worse... this is one we saw a few times: Someone would be pulling a nail out with a pair of pliers (instead of using the claw of the hammer) and they'd be pulling harder, and HARDER, and HARDER, and then the nail would finally jerk free and the pliers would come jerking out and the person would poke out their own eye with the nail. Talk about embarrassing and costly.

So, yes, definitely you need that claw on the hammer.

Here endeth the lesson.


PS: I actually made the uber Mac Pro stutter today, which is something of a feat. But I had over a hundred tracks simultaneously running on Logic (tee hee!), each with 2 to 5 plug-ins, and I had Adobe Photoshop Elements, Firefox, my Mail and iTunes all running at the same time.

When I have it all going like that, I like to stand over the computer in a white lab jacket shrieking unto the heavens, "Alive! It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!!!!" (<--name that quote)

'Cause that's how I roll, baby.

Today's Vocabulary Words and Terms
Phillips Head Screwdriver