My left eye has been bugging me for about a week now, so today I decided to go to the emergency room. It’s the only way my insurance will let me see an ophthalmologist while I’m in San Diego. It doesn’t make sense, but whatever. When I got there the place was filled to the brim. Then all of the sudden…


This dude starts projectile vomiting all over the fucking place. Spewdom was practically raining from the rafters. Partially digested chunks exploded onto the concrete and threatened the bare toes of nearby patients. After a few more violent bursts of barf-fetti he was done. He then sat up straight with his arms crossed and displayed a proud smirk of defiance on his face. Mr. Pukey watched shamelessly as the janitor mopped up his stinky mess. The bathroom was not more than 10 feet away!

SRSLY. It was epic.