Researchers at the University of Glasgow have found that "moderate consumption" of wine can actually help stave off dementia in women.

i knew being a wino would come in handy some day.

Though small amounts of alcohol may aid in helping the brain stay sharp, Stott warns, "This is not an endorsement to drink to excess - large amounts of alcohol will damage your brain - but the occasional tipple may do you some good." In other words, drinking an entire bottle on your own and then running down the street screaming, "I'm fixing my memooooryyyy!" probably isn't going to win you any points in the medical community.