Hey, um, I'd like to return this....

I seriously think you sold me damaged goods.... Ya know... Like is there suppose to be a crack in this?!

No, seriously!

Fucking A, there is a crack in my ass!! I'd like to return it!!

Erm.... Anywhoooo!
I got like this grape NOS and I think it's dangerous for me to have this.

* farts *

Ya know, walls get very annoying. I mean they never shut up with their chitter chatter!! Also, they really hurt when ya run into 'em. It's like some kinda of gravity pull, I swear!
Walls speak to me! No joke!

I tried to climb in the dishwasher at work...
Bad idea...

* burps *
OOO, grape!

Ya know for some reason today....
I was at the gas station getting some shit when all of a sudden it hit me...
I don't understand bewbs.
I'm not joking.
One second they are perky and the next they can be like all "ehh".
Do bewbs have a mind of their own like penises?

Do mental farts smell?!