6 years ago

So for a while.. i've had feelings for a special friend of mine.. and I was a bit worried about things.. so i never told her. Recent events happened and she met an awesome young lady.. and had been spending some time with her. Of course at first, for about a week I was into a spirialing depression over it.. then i finally got the courage to talk to her about it.

We ended up talking for about 2 hours about everything.. and how i felt.. and to my surpise .. she was as suprised about it as I was.. she never really expected to meet anyone like her.. and due to our personalities being so similar.. we both want the same things out of a relationship.. but over time if we were to be together.. things would probably fall apart.. we have such a great friendship.. and we'd both hate to ruin that.. so i'm ok with things as they are...but a twist!

I met her friend last night and we all hung out, had dinner.. the works.. and it was very amazing and fun. This girl she has met.. is quite literally everything I want in a woman.. she's BEAUTIFUL as ever.. extremely thoughtful, and just.. has a good personality that simply makes me sadly while I am extremely happy for them both (they compliment each other so very well).. I feel a great sense of depression and sorrow... the reason being is i'm quite jealous.. why can't i meet a woman such as her.. so beautiful on the inside and out.. and compliments me so perfectly... It's also a little frustrating that she can pick up such cute and awesome girls and I can't even get the trashy nasty ones to give me a 2nd glance..

Maybe i should stop looking for it.. maybe i need to stop caring.. but.. that's easier said than done.. it's not something I can just drop and let go.. not easily.... and everytime i do or have been able to.. i always end up this way again.. so who's to say it won't happen again?

Comments (4)

  • SloeBombFizz


    6 years ago

    You obviously can't stop caring and the more effort you would put into that idea would actually be more caring you would do - that's a vicious cycle of depression and self-loathing that tears you apart from inside. You've just got to work on building what you want of yourself and pushing out to meet new people or be out among the people you know. Being passive and expecting the great love of your life to find you isn't going to provide you anything. On the other hand, don't look only for the perfect moment with the perfect person to present itself. Get out and live your life and live it fully and you'll find more treasures closer at hand than you might imagine.
    [ /fortune cookie B.S. ]

  • Scuba83


    6 years ago

    You've got to rock the awesomeness. In other words, be yourself and enjoy life. Yes eventually you will have to put yourself on the line or change slightly to accommodate someone else, but until that time comes live life to the fullest. You never know when opportunity will knock or even how for that matter. If it counts for anything I like the look you've got going for you nowadays. Not that there was anything wrong with your previous look, I just think this suits you. Hang in there my friend, you will find someone who will appreciate all that is you.

  • magickmaster


    6 years ago

    I still love you!

  • verykari


    6 years ago

    Trust me, you don't want the trashy nasty girls looking at you. Just focus on being an awesome, fun guy. You will attract the right person. Maybe tone down your language smiley8.gif and get out to meet people! Even bad experiences can be hilarious stories... at least that's what I tell myself.