I know I don't post journals much, but I don't have anyone else to talk to about this... at all.

So I get an e-mail from an old friend Samantha inviting me to her birthday party, now it isn't a bulk e-mail, it's a personal "Nick, are you comming to my party, you'd better!" E-mail, despite the fact that I haven't talked to her in almost a year and a half, on account of stopping going to the same church as her.
So I go along and there are a heap of people I used to know from my old church, and a heap of people who have started going to that chuch since I left, and a few people Sam knows from other places.
I do the rounds "Hi, I'm Nick, *insert witty remark/pop culture referance*." So I meet some nice girls, and a talk to some old buddies, and all of a sudden every group I go to sit with is talking about relationships. "Oh, God has my perfect spuse picked out" or "Oh, my future wife/husband is waiting for me" and at every group there is somone trying to teach all of the others about relationships... despite the fact that every fucking person at the party is single.
I start to get a little pissed off at the fact that these people seem to think that they know enough about relationships to correct others, despite the fact that they aren't now, nor have they ever been in a healthy working relationship. It just grinded my gears. And it's totally like nothing has happened in that year and half I haven;t seen anyone in. They are the same clueless pretentious tools I used to know, talking about shit they have no experience in at all.
And then somthing happened... Liza turned up. Now Liza is not my ex, we never had anything going on, that was kind of the deal with us. She knew I was interested in her, but her response was always "I don't date", when a "I hate your fucking guts" would have been better, if only because it would completely put an end to the feelings I had for her.
So she comes upto me and does the whole catch up thing, "How are you? where are you working? hows life?" the whole deal, and all of a sudden I can't stop thinking about how cute she looks in her dress, how her face still looks kind of pretty and kind of sad at the same time. And I'm 'confused'. So at the wind down of the party she comes over to me and tells me that it was good to see me again, and we hug, and she leaves.
Now, I'm not seeing anyone, but there is a girl who really wants to be my girlfriend, She's pretty cool, but we don't have alot in common, and as nice as she is, and as much as she likes me, I don't feel for her anything close to what I feel for Liza, despite the fact that in the past Liza made it abundantly clear that she doesn't want anything to do with me.
It's true that I'm a glutton for punnishment, and now, I really don't know what to do.

Yours faithfully, Nick.