First, my Xbox 360 is making this annoying buzzing sound, and I have to smack it on the hardrive, much like one would hit a dog on the nose with a newspaper, to make it shut up. It's driving me bonkers. However, that isn't the only thing that is breaking down. Recently, I just feel so...tired. Like, I've been fighting for something so hard, and so long, and nothing is happening. I don't know what I'm fighting for, or if it's even worth it, but I just feel so tired, like I'm failing. I don't know what is triggering these feelings, I don't even know why I'm having them. In all retrospect, I should be happy. I have the love of a wonderful woman, I'm going to be promoted soon, but I just can't place my finger on why I feel like I'm not doing something, why something feels wrong, or off. I don't feel close to anyone anymore. It's like, I have to rely on all these things in order to feel close to someone. Phones, Internet. I'm tired of it. I jsut want to be able to go out with people, have fun, take pictures and feel that sense of belonging. Maybe that's what's going on. I just don't feel like I belong. I also feel like I'm letting people down. As if I'm telling someone I'll do something, but I never get around to it. I just don't know what to think anymore. I'm confused, I'm bewildered. I just want things to start making sense to me.
10 years ago