I'm on my iPhone, so this will be short and not sweet.

I just finished reading The Gunslinger, my first ever Steven King book. I figured if he'd written anything I'd actually enjoy it'd be the Dark Tower books. I was unimpressed. He takes a long-ass time to tell a relatively short, uneventful story. I don't know if it's a quality of King's writing or if it's just this book, but reading through this prose felt like slogging through calf-deep mud. It doesn't flow at all. Reading this book felt like work, not entertainment. Ive read shit written in Middle English that was smoother.

Enough comes across to show that the character could be fun and have interesting adventures, but apparently that all happens outside the scope of this book. Maybe if i were inclined to read the rest of the series I'd get some of that, but at this point I'd rather slam my hand in one of my desk drawers than go down that road. It would be over more quickly at least.

So, having decided not to read the rest of the series, I hit up wikipedia and read the plot summaries for the other six books, and now I think I'd choose 3 or 4 desk drawers and a trip to the dentist rather than continue. I mean, seriously, King seems to turn the series intonation self-insertion fanfic at some point . I just don't get the love for the series. Then again 1 book and some plot summaries don't quality me to judge the whole thing. It is, however, about as far as I'm willing to go. Sorry, Mr. King, I don't think I'll be reading any more of you. I'm sure you're just heartbroken.