When it comes to home defense, the old ways are still the best. I'm talking about moats.

But, in these modern times, water simply won't do. Your modern miscreant doesn't care about getting wet; all they care about is getting in your home. Also, if you live in Canada, like me, you'll get cold winters. Your moat will freeze, and your intruder can just stroll right on in.

I suppose you can fill it with dangerous creatures, such as piranhas and alligators, but those are expensive. And again, Canadian winters, freezing...it would not be a prudent use of money.

No, my friends, for a modern moat, there's only one way to go: broken glass and salt. Cheap, effective, and it sends a message: you wanna come to my house, call first!

Just make sure you let the post office know. Won't make that mistake again. I liked that mail carrier.