I know I'm not really a part of this community any more. There are a great many things in my life I wish I could go back and change and that would absolutely be one of them. Regardless, the RT/RTOZ community has always meant so much to me that I would like to share something here.

One month ago today I decided to stop drinking.
It was a week into my holiday to the USA and Mexico, which was planned to be nothing more so than a huge party trip. After a rather confronting experience with my intoxicated alter ego that included among other things physical violence, self harm, abuse, excess and quite probably multiple misdemeanour's, I came to the realisation that I was not enjoying the act of alcohol consumption. Setting aside the fact that I was putting many aspects of my life at an incredible risk, I realised I was getting nothing in return. I was at the point where I was forcing myself to drink for the sole purpose of being drunk; for some reason thinking that this was a pre-requisite to having a good time.

Once that became clear in my head I realised that I had to make a change.

Since then I have consumed less alcohol than I ordinarily would have in less than an hour during an average night. I'm more than a little disappointed in myself that didn't manage to quit outright - I used the (idiotic) justification that I needed a social lubricant in particular situations and each time I found myself questioning why I felt it was necessary, questions that prompted me to stop.

I made this decision primarily for health reasons, both physical and mental, every day it gets a little easier and every day I feel better for it.

This isn't about attention; this is simply me letting the people in my life know of what is, to me, a monumental change.
I know a lot of people will think "So what?", I certainly would have until relatively recently, though I hope anyone who knows me well will understand.
On the off chance that anyone happens to be going through a similar struggle I can say I have become quite fond of the proverb "This too shall pass" and accepting that anything is possible.

Stay safe. I hope you're all well.

Justin smiley3.gif