Thank you for being a country were I can blow shit up and buy high explosives and guns without a background check. Thank you for letting me drown myself in caffeine and calories, but drawing the red line of legal action at weed and hookers. Seems reasonable enough. Anyway, its pretty cool living in the country that could beat the shit out of all of the other countries combined. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. And for you foreigners out there, if you're not listening to American, we're listening to you. . . illegally, with wiretaps 'n' shit. NSA! NSA! NSA!

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