Hello. I disappeared for awhile. I know. Before you read this I don't want sympathy or anything I just want to explain. For a long time (as far back as I can remember is about Year 9 at school so I would be about 13/14 years old) I've felt pretty shitty. Its hard to explain. Because I don't know why I feel this way it just happens. But I don't like to make other people feel down so I've kept it to myself and found ways to cope with it. I don't have reasons to feel this way, which makes it worse. It makes it hard to think positively about a lot of things. The negatives always find a way to out way the positives. So finally after hiding it for so long I decided to go to a doctor. At first I didn't plan on telling my family, because I didn't want them to know I've been feeling like this, incase it makes them feel bad. It wasn't until I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety problems and told to start taking medication. I didn't see myself as someone with these problems. So finally I spoke to my parents, and they said to do what i think is best. I decided to take it, but I knew it may effect my mood and stuff so I waited for a time when I could get away for awhile. Hence the absence, at first it seemed to help but after a few weeks I started to feel the same again. I only have 10 days worth of meds left and I don't think I'll get more since nothing really changed and it'll just waste. Anyway, I just wanted to say hello, didn't want anyone to worry, no one is to blame. I've just come to accept this is the way I am. Thank you for the kind messages that people have sent me, y'all are awesome friends. And if anyone else ever feels down, I'm "happy" to talk.
- James smiley12.gif