Well, I knid of thought I wouldn't be able to fill up a whole journal, and I've got more in he journal right before this one... so please, read both and enjoy.

- Now, I’ll tell you a bit about myself, I am an only child, adopted, and my folks got divorced just as I was moving into university, I don’t know what took them so long, because they’d been fighting ever since I can remember, I guess they were hoping I’d pick up a crack habit and I wouldn’t notice that my dad and I were living in another house… I always feel sad for disappointing my folks on that one.
- I’ll talk about the aftermath of that divorce for a bit… putting two swinging good looking guys like my dad and I in the same house as they both start dating again… I never thought I’d have to tie a sock on my door at home… but I hope that my dad learned something from one of m exes who was very vocal… and she loved telling me exactly what she wanted “Bite my ass and ride my side saddle, big boy!†I just hope he never tried that because he’s in his mid 50’s… he might strain something.
- Actually, this is pretty funny, my girlfriend spent the night with me when I was still living at home, and I shit you not when I woke up in the morning, there was a little note slipped under the door in my dad’s handwriting that said “Make breakfast for three, please.†That smooth operator! I had a little chat about pre-marital sex with my dad, though, and to show you the cool kind of guy he is, after massaging his temples for the moment, he just looks at me and smiles “Well, not if it’s going to hold up the ceremony.†Damn, my dad is cool.
- I’d like to get off the dirty stuff for a while and talk about a couple of other things that interest me… by applause, how many of you believe in aliens? I do, and I’ll tell you why, I was raised jewish. Now you might wonder what the two have to do with one another, and it’s simple, Aliens are God. I can’t prove it logically, so I’ll use quotes from the bible. God created the earth in 7 days, right? There was no sun or moon until day 3! How could the first two even be days? My theory is that aliens did it and are just trying to screw with people… it also explains the anal probing.
- Another thing is prayer, I now pray to aliens, and you know what, Grobek from Zantar 4 actually takes the time to visit from time to time, and he always bakes cookies when he does… god never made me cookies.
- For a while, I was actually pretty bitter about judiasm, until I got to university… then everyone was thanking me for getting extra days off, I’m serious, I got calls from gentile friends asking me for real Hebrew words so they could make up holidays, too.
- My friends… what a group, man, some are cool, but others, the kind I’ve grown up with… well, some of my oldest buddies are kind of ignorant. I mean, does anyone remember when the Queen was here and she dropped the puck at a hockey game in Vancouver with Wayne Gretzky. Well, we were watching that at the time and he looks at the tv and asks “Hey, who’s the chick with Gretzky, his mom?†And we just looked at him and just thought about playing along “Nah, she’s not his mom†“Well, who is she then… die she win a contest? I mean, she looks a bit overdressed, I guess she’ll have a cool story about meeting Gretzky, though.†At that, you just have to get mad “Dude! Take out a coin… look at the back, look familiar?†Oh, yeah, I see it now, pretty shitty, though, letting the queen win a contest.â€Â