Now Playing - Make You Feel That Way by Blackalicious

I saw an old friend yesterday, and he's dying. A bit dramatic of a first sentence, I know, but it certainly caught your attention, didn't it? Truth be told, he's been dying since the day I first met him, I sat with him at lunch my first day in grade 3 after moving to a new school

Michael has been on of the nicest guys that I've ever had the pleasure of knowing in my short time on this little blue-green rock. Now, about the dying bit.. that much is true, but he's been dying for some time. He's got a disease called Dysautonomia, a disease that for some reason only affects jewish males. At the time I met him more than 15 years ago, he wasn't even supposed to make it to his bar mitzvah (13 for those who aen't aware). He'll be turning 25 about a month after I turn 23.

He's got a girlfriend, or at least a gil who'd do anything for him, but he refuses to ask her to marry him on the basis that he figures he's going to be gone any month now. We got into a long conversation about it, and after trying to convince him to do it, for her, he just looked at me and said that's exactly why he's no doing it.

I was going to continue this argument, but I realized how much of a hypocrite I am sometimes. I did exactly the same thing when I had my heart problems a while ago, I closed mself off from my friends, dumped my girlfriend at the time, and just 'played out the string' those last few days.

I'll be honest, it killed me, because in all the years I've known him, Michael's never been a guy to not have hope. Everytime we got a new kid in our class, his parents would have to explain to him that Michael had an incurable disease, and might die before the end of the school year. I remember a string of a couple of years where I beat up a few people who thought it might be funny to have a laugh at his expense (So I wasn't as articulate as I am now).

To see him finally resigned really hit me, and I'm awake at 9 am because I haven't gone to sleep yet tonight. I'm worried that now that he looks like he's going to give up, I may have already seen the last of him I'll ever see.

Don't mean to get deep and emotional, but I needed to vent, thanks, and have a good day.