Nothing playing now but the sound of my own voice... this is a good one.


Eight years ago, I was witness to what may still be the greatest prank war in the history of mankind.

For starters, some background. For those of you who don't know, I was sent away to a religious boarding school, made up of all guys. Now this can lead to a tonne of dumb things because well, all it takes is one girl (not even a hot one, just any girl) to say "Don't shoot roman candles at each other, that's not smart" We didn't have that.

In Grade 9, my class was so big that we had our own floor in the bsaement. Now two guys who lived next to each other, Chadwick and Richter really got on each others' nerves. I had the pleasure of being on the other side of Richter, and I know where it all started.

After some perceived slight from Chadwick to Richter, Chadwick and I were woken up at 4 am by the worst, most horrid orgiastic noises imaginable. Now, I being the smartest of the three put on some soundgarden on my cd player, put headphones on and went back to sleep. Richter kept up those noises for more than an hour, and was so hoarse that he couldn't talk for a couple of days. The two ended up having a fistfight which, oddly enough, solved nothing.

Chadwick decides that he can't let his burgeoning manhood be compromised in such a manner, so one fine winter day when Richter is doing his laundry, Chadwick takes all the guy's wet clothes and throws them outside. Now, the clever part of this is that he didn't just spread everything all over, he put it all back into the laundry basket so it froze and got knotted together. Richter had to wear pyjamas to classes for the next day and a half.

After suffering this indignity, Richter decided that enough is enough and pisses in Chadwicks mouthwash. I was unaware of this and was just hanging out in Chadwicks room as he was getting ready to go to sleep that night when he took that fatefull swig that changed his life.

After Chadwick induced vomiting, everything died down for a while.

Two weeks later, things took a turn. In math class, Chadwick gets up to go to the can and looks right at Richter saying "You'll see what I think of you." Nobody knew what that meant, but we all knew that, but we figured something was escalating... oh was it ever.

To Be Continued...