To whom it may concern,

I am a fucking train wreck. I don't have the slightest clue of why you clicked this but thanks. This first journal post was conceived because I need a way to vent and I have heard writing works well. To be honest I have always been a terrible writer. Back in high school essays were never my forte. In fact, when I first entered college my major was History, but when I found out we had to write essays all the time I immediately switched my major to photography. So as you can imagine trying to write this is literally like pulling teeth out but I don't feel like I have any other option.

This journal entry was going to start with a brief history of whats going on, but you don;t really need to worry yourself with that because I shouldn't be worrying about that.

I am the typical guy who can't move on. A girl broke up with me and I am still messed up by the event. She's moved on and I haven't. I make a fool of myself because that's all I really know how to do. It shouldn't be too hard to move on right? The majority of our relationship was long distance. I don't see her every day. I have one friend that is mutual between us but he isn't at all communicating with her outside the occasional visit to her town. So why have I been so distraught? Maybe it's because I've never learned how to be single. It's a funny thing to say out loud "I've never learned how to be single". You're probably saying to yourself "But OP, you have been single for a majority of your life" and that is in fact true.

Let's break it down this way:

Infancy 0 - 5 years: Yes you are single but you're learning how to walk, talk, eat, what not to touch, to listen to your parents, how to read.

Childhood 5 - 10 years: You are single for the most part, but you're learning about right from wrong, good from bad, and you're starting to form your personality.

Preteen/Teenager 10 - 18 years: This range is generally when you start dabbling into the world of romance and relationships. This is where you're either spending your time trying to get in a relationship or you've settled on the fact that you don't need that shit and you start focusing on yourself.

Learning how to be single is learning how to invest in yourself. The most important person in your life. Relationships will come and go but you will always be there for yourself. You really do have to be comfortable in your own skin before you can tackle relationships. How can you try and invest in someone else when you wont spend time and invest in the person in the mirror? When you can wake up one morning and look in the mirror and feel happy with what you see then you've truly made it.

If you have made it this far then I have one question. Why?! I'm not even that interesting and I could probably use a refresher course in grammar. But to you I say thank you for reading.