It’s strange how your day can be going so normal, the steady beat of routine thrumming along. And then… It’s not. Everything goes to hell and you have no idea what happened, or why it happened, and you know you’ll never get an answer. You’ll always wonder what you could have done differently, if there was a clue you missed, if there was anything that could have been changed. Intellectually, you know there wasn’t. Emotionally…. well, emotions never care much for reason.
My mother died last night.
She had asthma, and she had an attack. She’s had them before, and if they happened to be bad, she could always get to the hospital and get it cleared up. This time she didn’t even have five minutes. It was so fast, and I started CPR, or what I knew of it. It was a very hard thirty minutes waiting for the ambulance. I knew that it wasn’t going to do any good, but I couldn’t think of anything else to do. I don’t know what to do without my mother, or how to deal with the fact that I’ll never talk to her again. The stories she’ll never know the ending to. I always watched RvB and RWBY with her, and it’ll be hard to watch them alone.