Man, it's been a good chunk of time since I've made a post xp Time really gets away from you when you are living life/having an identity crisis xD So for starters, I've been spending a lot of time with my girl friend, helping her craft some stuff for her new apartment, and also thrift shopping.. A lot of thrift shopping, and that brings me into the identity crisis part. So I'm transgender. I did a lot of soul searching and that was the conclusion I came too. I'm simultaneously a lot happier and also a lot more sad xP I'm glad I know who I am now, but also life as a transgender woman is gonna be hard. Thankfully my girlfriend is incredibly supportive, and I came out to my dad for pride month, and he was super accepting of it. Coming out to my mom will be much more difficult.
I guess I first considered that I could be trans when I finally got my medication for my Ulcerative colitis switched, and I started to actually feel normal, but I still hated my body. When I thought about it while looking in the mirror, i finally understood that I didn't just hate it internally, but externally as well. Like, I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin. So I started thinking about why that was. There was also something else I hated about my self, and that was my name, not that it was a very masculine name, but I still cringed every time I heard someone say it. I had always known that trans people existed but I'd never known any personally, so I did some research and suddenly a lot of things started to click. I've always found it so much easier to talk to girls, and I've had a hard time talking to guys. I always changed for gym class in the office because I didn't feel comfortable in the boys locker room. That, and the body spray a lot of the guys used set off my asthma, but I mainly used that as an excuse xP Speaking of body spray I always disliked scents for stuff like deodorant, soap, shampoo, etc intended for men. Its just gross to me. Make me smell like a field of flowers and strawberries please! Anyways, whenever someone would call me handsome, or attractive, I was just unable to believe them. In fact, hearing them call me handsome actually made me feel worse. So after piecing all of that together, as well as a couple of other things, I finally figured it out.
ANYWAYS! Guess who is 100% going to RTX Austin next month? This girl! Got the hotel reservation, got the plane tickets, and me and my fathers RTX badges came in recently~ I'm super excited! I don't really know what to expect, but I look forward to the experience <3 Hopefully I'll see some of you there!