Things have been tough for me lately, and holding on seems like a distant answer. I'm not happy right now. I wish things were better for me,I wish i was happy right now. Everyday getting up seems like nuisance, I dont want to but i have to. Going to work is dreadful, I dont talk to anyone there i dont consider anyone a friend really, I hate having breakdown at work, where it feels like everything is falling apart. No one knows that this feels like inside. I go home and i just want to be left alone. I wear long sleeves in the summer to hide scars on my arm. i go to work with dried blood on the insides of my sleeves. I hate being a bother to people, i really thought this were gonna be a lot better by now...... im really trying to hold on to something here...i feel like im having a mental breakdown. people dont understand what its like to hear voices, and to see stuff. its terrible. goodnight people