40 gypsies arrived at heaven's gate's ST Peter said we only have room for 12 so decide amongst yourselv's who is coming in 5 mins later ST Peter says to god they have gone god says what all of them ST Peter says no the fuckin gates

An englishman a scotsman and an irishman were chatting and the englishman says my wife bought a car the other day and she doesn't even drive the scotsman says my wife has gone on a diet and she is not even fat the irishman says thats nothing my wife has gone on holiday to ibiza taken 30 condoms an she doesn't even have a cock