Hmmmm philosophical me, in the heading, ah forget it

Wait, what was I rambling on about? Oh yes the time the terrorists tryed to kidnap my kidneys or was it my liver, oh well it all started in a random bar or as the Germans call it Beer hall, I went in for a drink and met a Yugoslavian woman, to cut the story short and to protect the minds of innocent children I awoke in a hotel room, to find that the woman was beside me, what really shocked and disturbed me was the fact that it was a man in his late thirties and he was holding a scalpel and preparing an incision in the general area of my kidneys. I decided to try my mystical powers - "open seseme" I shouted, and with a burst of light, well more of a flash, the tv turned on.
I was fortunate that it was a yugoslavian documentary and the guy was occupied, I made my daring escape.
Using some large power tools that happened to be nearby I made a hole in the floor and jumped through, I attempted to hotwire a car, only to discover it was a wardrobe - ??? - I ran out the room and made it to the parking area, I saw a van with VAT on it - Value added tax? I though but it turned out to be "Vicious amphibian terrorists" I ran to the nearest vehicle, but a small creature with a light on its finger was in the drivers seat calling "home". I stole the car and was chased by the van, they fired a missile at me and just barly missed me, I heard on the car radio that the Taj Mahal had just been struck by a missile.
I ended up at the hospital and asked for a free x-ray ( I found a coupon in the glove compartment in the car) and I wanted to make sure my kidneys were okay. It turned out they were made out of a highly rare volotile explosive
"???" I said
"010001111010101011100010101" said the doctor
I stayed silent
The doctor stayed silent, but louder than me.
" when the world is mine you will be the first to die" said a passing maniac.
"there he isnt" shouted a terrorist
The doctor made a loud whirring noise and the terrorists burst in
"there he is" said one
"atchoo" said another
"Scream" I said
The doctor exploded in a cloud of random combustion.
I stole an ambulance and got the passing maniac to come along.
We turned down a german ally to discover we took a wrong turn and ended up in India, where some priests of some religion were getting quite upset. I reversed and ended up running over a frog with an AK-47 assault rifle. I drove down a street as the terrorists fired AK-47's. I took a sharp turn and through a warehouse wall, I came through the car window.
Then My Kidneys Exploded and I ended up in a hotel room bed with absolutly nothing unusual or obsurd happening
I was quite dissappointed.

Wait I was'nt talking about that.
If you read all that, well done

Bye
-Conor