I can't believe I'm finally seeing you <3 I'm scared as shit though. Definitely not going to get any sleep tonight.

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I can't believe all that I have
foreseen is finally happening.
I cannot for a single second stand the way I feel.
I always knew. I always saw it coming.
Enveloped now, encased by my worst fear.
I've never felt the nausea of longing to feel nothing,
I never wanted to cease to
exist, just disappear. Fear memories are all that lie ahead.
Never have I felt so lost. Memories dull my senses.
Fear tragedy is all that lies ahead.
Never have I felt so dead.
Once felt so warm, now I'm fucking freezing.
I am the once embraced abandoned one.
I raised my eyes up to the light in hopes of finding healing;
no relief was mine, I was burned, by the sun.