Inspired by Contractor's masterful story, I was moved to create one of my own. Here's what I have so far. Please reply to tell your opinion of the story (also excuse my punctuation, spelling etc... errors)

The full moon illuminated the August sky with a bright, white light. All around, sparkling stars were dancing in the heavens, enjoying the annual Moon Festival. The streets of Kaifeng were filled with entertainment stands, with topics ranging from poem riddles to puppet shows and martial arts performances. Each one of these streets was packed with people moving around or watching one of the many fabulous shows of the night. In their hands were colorful candle lanterns made from color papers and decorative illustrations depicting all kinds of animals and significant symbols of the Chinese culture. Hundreds of these lanterns filled each road, brightening even the darkest places, thus revealing everything that was concealed by darkness. Shops and restaurants were also crowded with customers, most of them just enjoying a few good drinks or talking with newly made friends. All in all, everyone was happily celebrating one of the most festive and eventful nights of the year.
A drunken man slowly stumbled out of one of the restaurants with a wine bottle in his hand. His clothing was made of colorful silk fabrics embedded with precious jewels and gems. A closer look at his face revealed that he is young, about the age of 20, and fairly handsome. His nose was tall, his eyes blue and alluring, and his cheeks reddened by the excessive amount of wine that he consumed. This young man was similar to many others at his age; he probably snuck out of his house that night to enjoy the festivity of the Moon Celebration. After five minutes of just walking around in circles, the young man eventually reached a crowded area where a group of people were enthusiastically watching a martial art performance between two middle age men.
"I think that Yang Hong Lao is going to win this fight,†a spectator said. “Look at his masterful command of the Tiger Jujitsu from the Shaolin Temple.â€Â
“I think I will have to disagree here,†another man replied. “The other man, Gon Tai, obviously has the advantage. Not only does he has a sword, but also observe his deft hand movements and quick attacks. This is truly a remarkable display of Kunlun sword techniques.â€Â
“No, my friend, you will soon learn that having a weapon is not the key to winning a battle. It’s the…â€Â
“I think the Shaolin Monk will win,†the young man interrupted.
“Who are you? And why would you say that?†the Kunlun supporter asked.
“I’m sorry for interrupting,†the young man replied. “My name is Li Tai Bao. I accidentally overheard your conversation and couldn’t resist from stating my opinion on the matter. If any inconvenience was made, please accept my apologies.â€Â
“No need for apologies,†the Shaolin supporter answered. “With the disciples of martial arts, it is difficult to not express our opinion. My name is Fa Bach Lao; it is an honor to meet you.â€Â
“Same to youâ€Â
“The pleasure is also mine. Pleased to meet you, my name is Liu Dao,†the Kunlun supporter said. “Would you please explain why you thought that Yang Hong Lao will win despite the fact that Gon Tai has the obvious advantage?â€Â
“It’s actually quite simple. If you look closely at Gon Tai’s sword, you can see that it is mostly offensive, with very few defensive movements. This is highly detrimental to his chances of winning. Firstly, the lack of defense will allow his opponent to have easy access to all of the weak points in his body; therefore, with only a slight carelessness, his opponent will be able to control one of his weak points, thus ending the battle. Secondly, if you observe Yang Hong Lao’s attacks, you can see why he will definitely win. Despite his slow movements, Hong Lao’s move exerts a great amount of Chi, which can counteract against his lack of a weapon. I predict that Gon Tai’s next move will be the Heaven Slash; however Hong Lao’s will counteract that with Flying Tiger, which will knock Gon Tai off balance and end the battle.â€Â
Sure enough, just at that moment, Gon Tai jumped into the air and performed an aerial sword slash downward at Yang Hong Lao. The candle lights flickered off of his sword, creating a light aura that encircles Hong Lao, making it seemed impossible to escape the sword’s deadly blade. The crowd gave a big gasp of amazement, both to congratulate Gon Tai for his masterful maneuver and to warn Hong Lao of the attack.
“Gon Tai’s chest is open. That’s where Hong Lao is going to attack!†Li Tai Bao exclaimed.
Just like his prediction, Hong Lao suddenly lunged into the air, curved his fingers to look like a tiger claw, and then hit Gon Tai right in the chest. Right at moment, Gon Tai felt a huge rush of energy coming at him, as if the strength of a raging river is pushing him back. Unable to control this, Gon Tai was thrown backward into the air.
Suddenly, a shadow jumped toward Gon Tai with extreme speed and agility. It caught him before he could hit the ground and slowly set him down in an open space nearby. At this time, all eyes were focused upon this new figure. Everyone was wondering who this mysterious character was and how was it possible for him to move so quickly and silently.
Yang Hong Lao slowly walked up to the figure and said, “That was an excellent demonstration of the Heaven Jump from Wu Tang. Can I please learn your name?â€Â
“Mister Hong Lao, my name is of no importance, for I am just a commoner from this area. Please don’t trouble yourself,†the figure replied as it turned around to face Yang Hong Lao. It was no other than Li Tai Bao…