And I thought I'd cover up my last journal entry with this distraction. Consider yourself distracted.
Since man first walked the Earth, war has always been about who has the bigger, harder tool. Sometimes, a war would be won by the one who can use his more quickly. Other times, the victor was the one who could use his to fire longer distances Ã¢â‚¬â€œ like at so many redneck barbeques. But regardless of the method, it always comes down to a comparison of phalluses.
In the days of the caveman, it was a matter of who could club the other harder. Yes, it was indeed a contest of who had the bigger, harder, longer wood. But as the use of stone weapons led to the invention of spears, men moved up from beating each otherÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s stiff wood to penetrating each other with the tips of their long, hard rods.
Years passed, and the development of metal weapons led to the creation of swords which were harder and had more stamina than the old fashioned spears. Certainly the spear was longer, but the sword could go deeper and go longer. But of course, when crossing swords with another man itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s important to note that itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not gay if the handles donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t touch.
Eventually the invention of gun powder led to the creation of projectile weapons. Now a man could jam a metal rod down his musket hole and then blow his hot payload out all over another man. Men would line up on opposite sides of a field and just march at each other, letting their hot spray wash over the opposing forces. This kind of technology was also applied to naval warfare as ships were equipped with long, hard cannons and big, heavy balls. Whole ships of men would use these cannons to blow hot loads off onto one another until somebody sank.
As automatic weapons came into existence, it became possible for one man to easily unload onto several other men surrounding him in a sort of reverse bukake. And around the same time, in order to reduce the fatality of receiving a hot load all over oneÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s chest, ballistic armor was developed. This allowed a man to receive another manÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s hot load over and over again so he could keep coming back for more.
Parallel to the development of firearms was the development of a somewhat kinkier invention: the BMÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ erÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ I meanÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ bomb. The idea was to allow an aircraft to drop a big, hot, steamy pile out a hole in its bottom onto a town as it laid back and took it all in the face. Naturally, the results would be messy and the cleanup exhausting, but thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s just what some people are into.
Leaving you with these newfound insights into the homoeroticism of war, IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d like you to discuss what other evidence might support the theory that war is gay. Or better yet, prove me wrong.
*I decided against posting this in the P&CE forum due to how immature and vulgar it is. Enjoy.*
*Keep in mind that I'm mentally unstable and wrote this while ill. Cheerio.*
*It is important to note that very little Ã¢â‚¬â€œ if any Ã¢â‚¬â€œ of this is factual. Good day.*
9 years ago31337_man
Now with 20% more respect for Canadians!
One day 3 men were walking across this bridge; an American, a
Canadian, and a Frenchie. When they got to the middle of the
bridge, the Frenchie stopped, pulled a bottle of wine out of his
pack, and threw it over the bridge. The Canadian & the American
both yelled out "What the hell did you do that for?" The
Frenchie just shrugged and said "We've got too much of that in
our country" The American, catching the Frencies drift, pulled
out a pack of ciggaretes and threw them over the bridge. The
Canadian and the Frenchie both yelled out, "What the hell did
you do that for?" The american shrugged and said "We have too
many of those in our country"
Now, the Canadian thought for a long time, and finnaly, he
picked up the Frenchie and threw him into the water. The
American looked at him in dis belief and said "Why in gods name
did you do that?" and the Canadian replied, "We've got too many
of those in our country."
9 years ago31337_man
I had to store this somewhere until the groups section returns. I knew we should have kept an LP thread running in the forums.
We have all heard more than our fair share of poop jokes in our lifetimes, but today I would like to talk seriously about our poop. I would like to know what type yours is on the Bristol Stool Chart? Please, no pictures; this thread is only for giving a concise description of what you gave up in your daily offerings to the porcelain gods.
Today, mine was a moderate to dark brown type four with a softer light brown underbelly followed by a small dark brown type six.
Post edited 3/29/09 8:37PM
10 years ago31337_man
You are not seeing a ghost. Whatever one person actually sees this before tomorrow, know that I'll be back then. Just clearing all alerts today, then getting some laundry done and studying for midterms in the coming week.
One last thing: Fuck Bob Marley; listen to Tim Henson.
Discuss any examples you've seen recently.
First of all, I'd like to mention that the postal codes in my area begin with 117; my ID number at my school ends in 117; my mother's birthday is 11/7; the other day when I was filling out an online form, I looked up to see that the word count was 117; one of the police cruisers that patrol the campus is numbered 117; in Aqua Teen Hunger Force, the house number is 1171; in the Ben Stiller movie, "Duplex," his character's rival writes a novel titled Murder at 11:17; and I always manage to look at a clock when it's either 1:17, 11:17, 11:07, or 10:17.
It seems as though this number is everywhere I go, and there may be a reason or it may just be coincidence.
No questions have been answered yet