3FeetShort

Male
from Van Nuys, CA

  • Activity

    • think gas is expensive

      14 years ago

      3FeetShort

      Think a gallon of gas is expensive? This makes you think, and also puts things in perspective.

      Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ...........$9.52 per gallon

      Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 .......... $10.00 per gallon

      Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ..... $10.17 per gallon

      Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 .......... $10.32 per gallon

      Evian water 9 oz $1.49..........$21.19 per gallon?

      Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ........ . $25.42 per gallon

      Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ........... $33.60 per gallon

      Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 ........$84.48 per gallon

      Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 ........ $123.20 per gallon

      Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 .... $178.13 per gallon

      i underlined the ones i thought are rediculs. who needs that stuff for that price
      medicine i can understand but $21.19 for a gallon of water is wayyyyyyyy to much

    • Stella Awards

      14 years ago

      3FeetShort



      It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

      The following are this year's candidates:

      1. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

      2. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

      3. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

      4. A. Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 a! after she slipped on a soft drink spill and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

      5. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

      6. A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, $780,000 after breaking her ankle by tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

      7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

    • GLOBALIZATION

      14 years ago

      3FeetShort



      DEFINITION OF GLOBALIZATION

      Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

      Answer: Princess Diana's death.

      Question: How come?

      Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines!And this is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gates' technology Which he enjoyed stealing from the Japanese. And you are probably reading this on one of the IBM clones that use Taiwanese-made chips, and Korean-made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, trucked by Mexican illegal aliens, and finally sold to you.

      That, my friend, is Globalization! Finally, an explanation in English

    • snappy answers

      14 years ago

      3FeetShort

      When someone questions the obvious give them back a snappy answer. ;)

      Snappy Answer #1

      A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

      Snappy Answer #2

      A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

      Snappy Answer #3

      The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

      Snappy Answer #4

      A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

      Snappy Answer #5

      A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please," she began her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14." With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore. "F*** you!" Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that, too."

      And the VERY BEST snappy answer ....

      Snappy Answer #6, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR

      A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its Best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

    • 2019 years ago

      3FeetShort
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      3FeetShort
  • About Me

  • Comments (18)

    • Ali_Tabuger

      13 years ago

      picture1enhanced5wu.th.jpg
      sorry for the low resolution
      it says Tuned Up Taste

    • padantic

      13 years ago

      yep. but I just posted it because I saw all those "online communism" stuff, and I wanted to be a son of a bitch and contradict them. smiley0.gif

    • padantic

      13 years ago

      thanks! that's pretty awesome of you smiley0.gif

    • photomaniac

      13 years ago

      thats why i put it up! :) oxy-morons rock!

    • SeRial123

      13 years ago

      Hey. What's up?

    • bdlambell

      13 years ago

      16X16

      yummy.jpg

      Post edited 12/06/05 8:57PM

    • Celwriter

      13 years ago

      Happy Turkey Day!

    • SeRial123

      13 years ago

      Happy Thanksgiving

    • Alem800

      13 years ago

      I'm happy you're not sad. I hate it went people get sad, then i feel like shit

    • voodooelflad

      13 years ago

      nipples are cool

    • Alem800

      13 years ago

      It's not pink, it's lightish red

    • Alem800

      13 years ago

      send me a friend request

    • FNadick

      13 years ago

      im so jealous of you
      bcause you live in californiaaaaaa!

    • PrivatePiles

      13 years ago

      one origin point of the name, yes.

    • ulysses22023

      14 years ago

      fag

    • ulysses22023

      14 years ago

      haha youre not a sponsor anymore! lol im jk buddy.

    • ulysses22023

      14 years ago

      oh shit youre a fucking sponsor? lucky ass!

    • SPnerve

      14 years ago

      u asked me a while back where u could find the shirts in my images, well just go to www.firstcallpaintball.com, they should have a few of them there

  • Questions

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