Abysmalpie

Male
from Amesbury, MA

  • Activity

    • Charity idea...maybe?

      7 years ago

      Abysmalpie

      So I was just driving my dad to my grandparents house when he asked "Whats up with all the stuffed animals?" He was referring to all the stuffed animals in the back of my car that I had won from the claw machine at my gfs work, and I told him this. He told me, come Christmas time, to bag them and donate them. This got me thinking, maybe I could start a charity involving the claw machine and the stuffed animals. It would go like this: people would pay 50 cents or a dollar to play the claw machine, all the money would go to buying kids in need toys for Christmas. If the donor won a toy or what have you, they could keep it or choose to also donate that to the charity. I don't know how I could possible get this off the ground, but it would be nice to do so.

    • Chapter Three: To Love or Live?

      7 years ago

      Abysmalpie

      The love of my life is all consuming. I love her, more than anything I have in the past. I do plan on proposing to her after I have finished college. I do hope that she says yes. There is just one problem. I don’t know if I can because of the way things work in my head. I mean I would gladly give my life to protect my friends, but she made me promise not to die first. So here’s the issue; I would ignore that promise if my friends were in danger, but not if my own life or hers was. That seems wrong to me, really wrong. But then again my mind is still fractured from that time. Maybe in time I will think differently. I hope that I do. Also I find it hard to believe that I truly love her. I mean I thought I loved the other, but look at how that turned out. Then I just turn around and go out with her. I don’t know it could just be teenage hormones. But I really hope it isn’t because right now I can’t imagine my life without her in it. She is so perfect, so beautiful, and so caring that I don’t know what would happen to me if it all ended. I guess another fracturing and reforming would begin. That’s a scary thought.

    • Chapter Two: Change?

      7 years ago

      Abysmalpie

      People these days are either scared about the future or optimistic. Then there are those that are optimistically scared. I guess that’s to be expected. The world is full of change, and we are smack-dab in the middle of it. Maybe it’s the overwhelmingly large cynic in me, but I have a feeling that things may not change for the best. But that’s the cynic talking. The realist in me is saying that I have absolutely no clue what could happen and I should stop talking out my ass. I don’t like him, so I don’t listen. The Occupy Movement is important, but things at home are changing to. People are going to school, figuring out what they want to do and some are coming home to find out. I guess I feel a little left behind or left out. I mean I still don’t know what I want to do, and school hasn’t helped. I’m planning on taking some time off after next semester, but I don’t think that will help either. I have thought about being a manager at the bucket, but an important person to me thinks that’s a bad idea. I know that working there for a while can get me some good money. But being a grocery store manager doesn’t sound all too glamorous, but then again I can’t let my delusion of grandeur ruin any more opportunities. I have thought about being a teacher, but I don’t think that would work out either. Oh well I can’t really know till I try, right. Too bad trying includes a lot of schooling and a lot of money that could be a total waste.

    • Chapter One: The Norm and The Unspoken

      7 years ago

      Abysmalpie

      Everyone has fears. Even people who say they fear nothing truly do fear something they just have yet to face it. Most people have a few big and a few small fears. These are normal fears, like those of heights or spiders and the like. The normal fears are the only ones that people ever talk about to each other in public, the only ones they feel secure enough about to admit to a total stranger. I have these normal fears. One of them is height. I have always had issues with it, but when I am high enough in a plane I no longer have that fear. I think I only fear heights if I can see the ground. The other is spiders. Not seeing them, but if they touch me. It goes like that for most all creepy crawlers. I can see them, but no touchy. Oddly I don’t have a fear of getting failing grades. Oh well, I guess I will have to discuss that in more detail later.
      The fears that can be admitted to others are only the surface. Many people myself included, have fears that they couldn’t ever admit to others. They may be simple fears that are overblown, or they could be something that is a very real fear. In my case it’s something of a in between. It can be a very real fear, but only if I let it. My fear is my own anger. There are reasons as to why I fear it, but they are too long and you might lose interest. It scares me to my core, and I don’t know what to do about it. I know that I need to confront it some or I will lose something very close to me. Anyway time to move on.

    • Time to get personal

      7 years ago

      Abysmalpie

      The journals that I post in the next few hours will be from my own personal journal. I will be putting the in chapters and they will explain my own past, and the way I think. I don't know why I am choosing to do this, but whatever. I will however be censoring any names mention in it.

    • Time off.

      7 years ago

      Abysmalpie

      So its been a while since I last wrote a journal. To update I have decided to not return to school this semester. I do have the intention of returning, and I have a fool-proof plan to insure that I do. My parents intend to kick me out if I don't, my girlfriend will break up with me, and her parents will forbid her from seeing me if I don't. See, fool-proof. For the time being I intend to continue working and maybe go on some long needed adventures. But all in all, this 3 month off from school will serve as my one year off that I wanted. Too many people were against that idea anyway. Oh well.

    • Tattoo

      7 years ago

      Abysmalpie

      So my parents finally found out about my tattoo. It was was one of the most heart stopping moments cause I didn't know whether or not the would kill me or have their heads explode. Thankfully neither happened. :)

    • Just waiting

      7 years ago

      Abysmalpie

      Even with a girlfriend now, the holidays still suck. I guess me and the holidays were never meant to be. Oh well, just one more then I'm home free.

    • First time always hurts

      7 years ago

      Abysmalpie

      So today was my first time......getting a tattoo. Oddly the burn after hurt more than getting it. Oh well. Still liked it, I might get more.

    • Best sweatshirt ever

      7 years ago

      Abysmalpie

      So I just got my 'Ask Me About My Zombie Plan' sweatshirt, and I couldn't be happier. Thank you Rooster Teeth. It reminds not only of RvB, but when I was in history class in my junior year of high school. All my group did was formulate a zombie plan because the teacher was a joke. By the way, it was to get guns and go to Home Depot. We have one that is next to a Wal-Mart and a supermarket, so we are set.

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