Apollyon

Male
from Liberty, IN

  • Activity

    • First one in a long time (again)...

      9 years ago

      Apollyon

      It's hard to forget how awesome this community used to be.

      Just went through my journals and all my friends' comments...man things were so different.

      Life changes so quickly.

      Steven

    • Thinking Thoughts

      10 years ago

      Apollyon


      I don't have a lot to complain about...

      From Thanksgiving to Christmas was relatively normal. I mean it's probably my favorite time of year. Two good family get-togethers. Lots of good food. Some time to think about what's important and some more time to show how much people mean to me.

      I don't feel so neglected. At least not enough that I'd notice.

      I've got my puppy to keep me company much of the time. She's already figured out how to scoot me out of bed though. It's good to have the excuse to get out and move outside. Once she doesn't fight the leash, I think it'll be easy to get around town. She sleeps alot. And she's learned how to bark which I assume will go in phases. Still I'm glad for the company.

      Finally got the title and plates for my Jeep. It's nice to be out of the grandma mobile. It drives pretty loud and I definitely feel it in the turns. But it's significantly better than the Buick. I hope there's a bit of snow soon. I want to see how it drives in bad weather conditions.

      Other than that? I got a few little weird things for Christmas. Some new koosh balls to enjoy, a dispenser for grocery bags for when I take the puppy outdoors, a couple movies and some spending cash.

      I don't have a whole lot else to say. I wish I was a little happier with my life, but who know? Things can change.

    • Wondering...

      10 years ago

      Apollyon


      I don't know what's going on. Things are relatively normal in my life.

      I still feel a large absence, but the depression is lightening. I'm doing better keeping myself above the darker feelings. Most of the time I'm just numb though. Keeping my thoughts to myself has been an insulation. But things aren't so bad.

      I do feel like I'm getting closer to being able to write creatively again. I've been writing in my journal regularly now, and indulging my imagination in thought experiments. I'm just waiting for inspiration. Could be a long wait...

      What else? I can't complain too much. Things aren't very bad. I've just got my expectations up.

    • The time I spend in my head...

      11 years ago

      Apollyon


      I'm not one to complain more than my fair share. At least I don't think I am. Maybe I do complain more than I should.

      I hoped that the time I spent sorting myself out would have positive long term results. But lately I find myself trying to get away from the frustration. Next to no progress at all, this is about as bad as it gets inside my head.

      I feel disconnected and forgotten. How bad does it have to be when I want a vacation from the time I spend in my head? All I hear is my voice. Once upon a time, I could attribute that to the dominant tone I lent it. Now it echoes in the absence of any other competition.

      I'm just tired. Tired of listening to myself. I don't have the overwhelming energy anymore. I'm going to be forced to keep listening until I hear something that'll help.

    • After a short intermission...

      11 years ago

      Apollyon


      Yeah yeah, I know...

      Long breaks in writing after I've tried to commit to writing more often. Sorry, it's just slow and my brain hasn't consolidated thoughts into chunks that make sense.

      I've started an accounting class. Trying to get into the habit of reading and doing homework weekly. It's not a lot of fun right now. It's real dense reading for one. And it's hard to get motivated about it. But I'm trying. I want to do well so that Mom can give me more responsibilities around the office.

      What else though? I've been cleaning up the apartment. Hoping we'll get to fixing and finishing the kitchen at some point. I think money is thin and that is what is holding up progress again. I'm spending time to get my living area the way I really want it. Books and boxes and things everywhere. It'll sort itself out in time I believe.

      I'm doing what I can. Trying to keep in touch with friends. Everyone's gone though. It sucks to be alone most of the time. Yet it's kinda how I like it. I'll be waiting when my friends want to come by. They know that...I know that too.

    • Can't think of a good one...

      11 years ago

      Apollyon


      I'm doing my best to keep on top of writing again. I don't know that I'm doing everything I can though.

      I'm relatively happy at this point. I don't know what's coming but I'm doing what I can to live day to day. I wish there was more to talk about though.

      I've been writing a lot of emails. Trying to get in touch with people that have been a big part of my life. I've also been trying to talk face to face with the people that I can. I have a lot on my mind and sometimes it comes out in spurts. There's still a lot up there though. I don't know how much is appropriate to put here. Just opening up is a large step for me. I still see myself as self-sufficient and too much as the one that can stand by myself. I'm not devoid of the need of support though.

      Like I said though, at least I'm happy. Maybe content is a better descriptor. I think I'd be happier with a couple changes, but I don't control everything.

      I want more though. I don't know how much more, but I'm keeping my eyes open.

    • Awake...Alive...

      11 years ago

      Apollyon

      So...

      Last week I went to State Fair Band Day. Trynt and I went up for the whole day, meaning we left Liberty around 7 and didn't get back in until 1 or 2 AM. It was an enjoyable experience. The weather cooperated pretty well. I was drinking water all day long, but it wasn't so hot that I wanted to rest often. I think that's the first time I've stayed for every band, day and night. It was also probably the best total experience I've had at the Fair. The UC kids did pretty well, but I think that missing prelims and having a short season hurt them in the points category. The top 7 bands really had fantastic shows. I'm probably going to order the DvD just because of what an excellent show it was.

      Beyond that, it's been kind of normal around here.

    • Weekend that was, the week to come...

      11 years ago

      Apollyon


      So, this last weekend...

      Dad and I headed out on a long 9 hour drive from Indiana down to Washington, D.C. While both my sisters have gotten to travel this summer, I convinced Dad that we should do something. Lisa's been to Las Vegas (with Mom) and Alaska (with Grandma), and Gayle spent a month in Poland (for school). So Dad and I picked a weekend when the Reds would be playing in D.C.

      It was a super long drive. I slept through about half of Ohio, so it wasn't too bad. We left at 5 in the morning, which is the first time in a long while that I've been up that early. We picked up some breakfast and headed out on the long drive. The scenery was pretty nice. In 4 or 5 weeks it would've been beautiful with the leaves turning. We didn't stop much on the way down. Just a couple rest stops, gas stations, and McDonald's for lunch.

      Once we got into D.C. we headed for the hotel first. One of Lisa's friends met us there to pick up the cats we brought down. And after we got out luggage up to the hotel room, we immediately headed out for the ballpark. That turned out to be a bad idea.

      It did give us time to make a mistake or two using the Tram system. We headed the wrong way the first time, but eventually got going the right way. When we got to the ballpark though, it was so hot and humid. And we couldn't get in for about an hour. We took a lap around the park to see the outside. Then we caught about 10 minutes in the gift shop to get into the A/C. Eventually we got into the park proper.

      It's an amazing looking building. It started to rain, so we got a chance to look around the inside. I think I'm still a fan of Cincy's park better though. But we had some great seats. We were in the first row in left center field right over the Reds bullpen. So we got to see the pitchers warming up and the bullpen guys talking throughout the game. There were several little kids around so some of them got souvenir balls from the guys after they were done warming up. And one of the Nationals players hit a home run that landed like 30 feet from where we were sitting. Of course the Reds lost. Dad and I still haven't been to a win yet.

      Well after that it was a long trek back to the hotel. The tram was slow because they try to cram as many people as they can onto them at night. We didn't get lost though. I got a shower and watched a little tv before falling asleep. We didn't sleep in. In the morning we got up, got ready, and headed out. We found a little diner, and got some breakfast. Then got on the road. And it was pretty much an uneventful ride home.

      As for this coming week...well State Fair is Wednesday and I'm planning on going for the whole day. I'm pretty excited. I enjoy going to see the competition.

    • Something...

      11 years ago

      Apollyon


      I know I'm going to write something after the weekend.

      But I wish I had someone to talk to now.

    • First time in a long time...

      11 years ago

      Apollyon

      Well I figured I'd do somewhat of an update.

      Let's see...

      I've got a job now. I spent a couple months in the fall looking around for various things. Applied to a tons of different places. Thought about getting a job at Miami (OH), working for the newspaper, or just doing retail work. None of that panned out. Still looking on the side, but not much is available if I want to stay close to home. I'm working full time for mom and dad now. Payroll accounting. It's not too hard. I mean I can do the work, but it's not what I really want in the long run.

      I ultimately decided that the teacher education wasn't what I was looking for at the current time. I am going back to school in the fall though. Mom's signing me up for an accounting class or two just to broaden my knowledge so I can do more around the office. I don't know how excited I am to go back. My brain's been in shutdown.

      What else? What else? Still a bit on the lonely side. I know I want to resolve that at some point. I just don't know what to say. I've got such a great set of friends around me, but they're busy and I don't like to intrude.

      I guess I'm mostly okay. Sometimes I'm a little depressed, sometimes I'm pretty good, but often I'm just somewhere in the middle. I try not to let anything be too big a swing.

      I've had a few really good trips recently. We went to a couple band competitions, which was fun. We've done a couple great movie nights (especially the drive in night). I miss summer band though. That's probably my biggest miss. Either summer band or writing. It's been a while since I've gotten anything productive done on that front.

      Well that's something...

  • About Me

  • Comments (1)

    • cutemusicbug

      13 years ago

      thank you for always making me feel better thanks for taking the title as my best friend and holding dear

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