AssCutter

Male
from San Diego, CA

  • Activity

    • Birf-day

      10 years ago

      AssCutter

      Was a good one, People threw money at me. Awesome. I bought a mini laptop, which kicked more ass than I thought it would. I can play StarCraft on the go.

    • UNO

      10 years ago

      AssCutter

      I just bought an xbox camera and Uno, if anyone wants to play......or see my penis, meet me on uno.

      :D

    • To Shoot an Equal and watch her die.

      10 years ago

      AssCutter

      My house encompassed what I felt within me, complete solitude. No need to talk to anyone, my head speaks enough for a stadium. I hear my stomach churn before I feel it, I haven't snacked in an hour, my very body calls out for the dinner of champions, cheetohs and a cookie. The kitchen is of a white porcelain, white cabinets and white ceiling almost florescent to my dark adjusted eyes. I suddenly see her staring at me. Her utter blackness was near contradictory to the sheer whiteness that encompassed her world. The daughter of my enemy looks like what a death row victim looks like the day before execution.

      Her antenna come to a screeching halt as I turn on the light. My battle cross shoe at my side I prepare to end her simple life. I raise it in preparation for the bloodshed to come. I stand tall in my mental precipice. I couldn't strike down this dreadful roach. To be ended without a fight would mean literal hell (If she were a viking). I back away slowly and deliberately lower my shoe. I walk as one would walk if just beaten back to my room.

      I open a small box near my bed, there lies a BB gun spring loaded pistol. I load 3 BB rounds into my weapon of choice. Cocked and ready, step into her presence once more to deliver her final battle. The sight on my firearm had been broken off due to age and carelessness, Gives her better odds. She sees me coming and makes a break for it, heading between microwave and coffee maker. The first BB strikes her back. I have broken her, but her spirit is more powerful than any body could be. Her superfluous wing draped out of her, akin to a wounded soldier stumbling away from certain death. But this hellspawn had to end now.

      The legs that once proudly scurried on white floors in the cover of darkness now hide under a soda can. Her visibly large ass is what gives me my new target. I take aim. A loud click echoes through my dead silent home. The sheer force of the bullet knocked her into a wall. Adrenaline surged through the dying nightspawn. Her now useless back legs were being dragged by her four arms. She falls into a trap that was even unknown to me.

      My mother had laid sticky traps (I think she may have violated the Geneva Convention). Her adrenaline pumped body ignorantly ran headlong into the mildly yellow glue that had become her grave. Hopeless, the antenna bounced as legs vainly tried to escape. I sat there and pondered her situation. With her still beating heart... I leave her to die a solitary death, no need to talk to anyone else, her thoughts no doubt could fill a stadium, she hears her heart beat as the end ticks closer and closer. I leave my junkfood for morning and go to enjoy my temporary rest as she ponders her eternal rest.

    • Just watched the crying game...

      10 years ago

      AssCutter

      ...And people complain about dicks in watchmen.

    • NIN Concert.

      10 years ago

      AssCutter

      I went yesterday, NIN was great. Jayne's addiction.....not so much.

    • Roaches.

      10 years ago

      AssCutter

      Have you ever had a unique experience with a household pest? Be it a battle or at least a time in which you were afraid for your life? Share with us your epic battles or valiant retreats.

      I have a story that just recently unfolded.

      While I was shaving, I felt the tiny legs crawl up my back. I had seen one of them in my home before (and murdered the vile fiend). I knew it was a roach so I pull up my shirt to show it the light, it scurries down my future love handles and onto my crotch, the one safe place from a swift punch. I notice when I try to shake him off, he climbs higher. I get very still, his antennae move quickly. I grab a nearby shoe and wait. He takes his chance and climbs onto my sock and hops from my middle toe to the tile below. I raise my shoe in preparation (Bush would be shaking by now). I come down with a mighty slam, I hear a crunch and a smile reaches my now shaved visage. I get a paper towel to clean the freshly silent battlefield. I now vow to destroy everyone I see with furious rage.


      If a roach is reading... I am coming for you.

    • Battle Star Galactica.

      10 years ago

      AssCutter

      It is over, It was good while it lasted, I miss Adama already.

    • Look over there!

      10 years ago

      AssCutter

      Old snake mii
      <----------

      EDIT- you may have already guessed that that is not old snake anymore, but a pedophile looking guy.

    • Lamb 2 slaughter

      10 years ago

      AssCutter

      I finally got that achievement for L4D.

      FINALLY!

    • I finally went to the doctor.

      10 years ago

      AssCutter

      I broke my Humerus (Just a little break). Had a quickie surgery and ran outta there on my crutches. All in all I have 3 screws in my leg and I look like a pirate.

      EDIT- Goddamnit, those doctors are jerks. I just looked it up and I actually broke my femur, my humerus is in my arm.

  • Comments (245)

    • EliteinSkirt

      12 years ago

      You know, I just realized I named my Halo 1 online profile after you.... (on comp). Wonder why I never thought to thank you for the inspiration....

    • Mossijake

      12 years ago

      haha. dude that ended 5 months ago!!!!!!!

    • doucant

      12 years ago

      yo

    • simmonsv56

      12 years ago

      vote me here plz

      vote here

    • simmonsv56

      12 years ago

      could you vote me here?

      vote here

    • blkhawk

      12 years ago

      nice to see you on

    • tury

      12 years ago

      Asscutter lol

    • camboy45

      12 years ago

      Lol, thats the best comment ever!

    • SessyLOVE13

      12 years ago

      U R FUNNY thanx for the comments lol smiley0.gifsmiley0.gif

    • FrankWest

      12 years ago

      are you thinking of "don't tread on me" or "join or die"?

    • Hitlican

      12 years ago

      WOW, how did you get me all those mods so fast?

    • Hitlican

      12 years ago

      alright found it. now i'm sure you aren't trying to rip me off and you might think the same about me so how about you give me 50 mods now, i'll get you your sponsorship, and then you give me the other 50 afterwards. sound alright?

    • danielmcin

      12 years ago

      Thanks for checking out my pics and commenting. You have somme fairly funny stuff in your pics. Thanks for the laugh.

    • blkhawk

      12 years ago

      Hey I miss your ass!

    • aaj222

      12 years ago

      I always thought PSPs were lame, but I finally held one in my hand... the joystick is a little weird, and hard to get used to, but for that size, it has awesome graphix. lol

    • canadianrock

      12 years ago

      Happy Early Valentines Day
      98894305_2af911e6c2_o.jpg

    • blkhawk

      12 years ago

      nice to see you alive!

    • justaturtle

      12 years ago

      *chuckles*

    • lovablechick

      12 years ago

      I THOUGHT YOU WAS MY FREIND GUESS NOT WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • lovablechick

      12 years ago

      why dont you talk to me anymore you hate me dont you

    • lovablechick

      12 years ago

      hey good looking...lol

    • lovablechick

      12 years ago

      hey hey hey do you have msn?

    • justaturtle

      12 years ago

      DSC03871.jpg

      the bunny sees all...X_X

    • arch_x

      12 years ago

      thanks for the bigger pic.
      and that red elite pic: they should totally have dual wield swords on halo 3

    • Gadwin

      12 years ago

      Do you really, honesty, truely, cut asses?

    • rocketcat

      12 years ago

      whoa, havent heard from you in a while, whats up? oh, since youre the ass cutter and all, i sat on a pair of scissors the other day and i cut my ass, seriously, true story.

    • Frazzer

      13 years ago

      So how did find me again?

    • Phyllis

      13 years ago

      *blam*

      You're dead! Plus one for me!

    • lovablechick

      13 years ago

      hey will u comment on my pics please baby?

    • lovablechick

      13 years ago

      hey hey sexy waz sup?

    • Phoenix_350

      13 years ago

      When Aeris dies in Final Fantasy 7.

    • Tedizlord

      13 years ago

      stubbs8mb.jpg

      for your stubbs knoledge

    • Zeta101

      13 years ago

      PLEASE READ
      Friend

      I am having a massive friend's list cleanout!!! comment in my journal to stay on

      PS. Please spread this to to one of my friends

      Thanksexclamation.png

    • Kimball-Man

      13 years ago

      why becuase my last name newton thats why

    • Red_Ghost07

      13 years ago

      Could you please vote for me here? Thanks alot.

    • hollyann

      13 years ago

      thanks about the eternal hotness thing. lol

    • powerdumps

      13 years ago

      hot blooded latin?

    • spoothead101

      13 years ago

      lol

    • spoothead101

      13 years ago

      what is this "ass cutting" you speak of??

    • crlaltdel

      13 years ago

      Yes...I think you are the only one that has gotten that!!!

    • rubanek

      13 years ago

      minor technicality.

      i'm anal that way.

    • rubanek

      13 years ago

      you're right. she is betazoid. your comment...

      y did he turn into a spider when exeryone else humanoid turned into an ape (the deevolution episode)

      betazoid = humanoid

      my comment...

      [Barclay] wasn't the only humanoid to not turn into an ape. Troi turned into an amphibian.
    • rubanek

      13 years ago

      you make many good star trek points.

      in regards to your comment about Barcley... He wasn't the only humanoid to not turn into an ape. Troi turned into an amphibian.

    • Zeta101

      13 years ago

      hey can u vote for me in icecold179's contest and

      DO NOT VOTE FOR ME!! in kratos1's contest it is the VOTE-OFF round(vote for som1 u want eliminated) preferably som1 who is winning THANK YOU

    • The_Priest

      13 years ago

      Dude, I love rats.

    • Wolf_old

      13 years ago

      er that last message was unclear.

      In regards to your response to local rumors of your said cutting of asses, my rebuttal is this: Dude, im s high

    • Wolf_old

      13 years ago

      Well mr. asscutter, regarding to your response i have the rebuttal of: Dude, im so high.

    • Wolf_old

      13 years ago

      local rumors state trhat you do, infact, cut asses. what is your reply?

    • superfly98

      13 years ago

      hey dude
      shpankthru.gif
      ID HIT IT!

    • IrishWalnut

      13 years ago

      Download it! It's available on the internet. I got that and a mac emulator. So I can enjoy it all over again (I previously hadn't played since I was 5)

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