28 years old
Not Specified
from Rhode Island

  • Activity

    • Fibro Lessons

      3 years ago



      Having fibro has already taught me a lot. Like, for instance, that I need to appreciate when I make progress on things even if I don't complete them or get as far as I want to yet. Because when your mind is clouded by Fibro Fog and your body is plagued by chronic pain, progress is an accomplishment in and of itself.

      Alright. Stopping the sappy chronic illness talk now. Back to your regularly scheduled programming: Cats, Buffy, coffee, and sarcasm. Rinse and repeat.


    • 3 years ago

    • Secrets and Mysteries, My Friends...

      3 years ago



      Help me pick a date for something. (And no. I can't possibly vague it up any more than that.)

      (10,000 bonus points if you can guess where that gif is from.)

    • Surviving + Moving Forward

      3 years ago



      Health Update: So my MRI results came back normal! No MS lesions, no brain tumor, etc. Which means that we've pretty much confirmed it's fibromyalgia, so hopefully we can start trying different treatments when I get back to the neurologist in a few weeks. Today I've been recovering from the contrast fluid injection used in the MRI, which I always have a shit reaction to. (To recover I'm 19 cups of water and 6 extra strength acetaminophen deep so far today.)

      MFA Update: My thesis defense is Tuesday, and I need to get my critical intro for that written (which has been stressful, honestly), but if I can make it through the weekend all the way to the end of Tuesday in one piece mentally/physically/emotionally, then I'm golden. I'll still have my two courses every Monday and Wednesday night 'til the end of the semester, but it's all going to be downhill.


      Writing Update: I also have been toying with a new book idea since January. I've got more details from thinking about it today. Once I get through Tuesday and finish a side project I've been working on, I'm going to start doing some hardcore research on the ideas I've got for the new novel. It'll be a standalone rather than a series this time. I want to work on it while I'm waiting to hear back from publishers on Devils in the Valley. Devils is the first book in a trilogy. Book two of that trilogy is written but entirely unedited, and book three is outlined. I need something to distract myself, and I think this shiny novel is the ticket. I'm also working on putting together a second poetry collection (where I've got ~18/60 poems written as of this moment, and I plan on doing NaPoWriMo in April) and a short story collection (all of which is written, though a couple of stories need editing and I'm actively trying to get more of the stories published in lit mags first).

      So that's where I am right now. I started a from-scratch new draft of my thesis critical intro today and am about 2.5 pages in. Right now I'm making myself a turkey bacon spinach wrap 'cause my carbs are low, and I might work some more on that side project, or some writing or something. Tomorrow I've gotta do some hardcore work on my critical intro and do at least 1/2 of my poetry homework for next Monday.



    • I Need to Get Out of This Prison Cell

      3 years ago



      Seriously. I need to get to Rhode Island. The stress here is literally killing me. It makes my fibromyalgia (assuming we've diagnosed this right) burn like hell and kick my ass in general and the not sleeping and Fibro Fog are killer. (I have an MRI on Thursday to confirm it's fibromyalgia and not MS or some other mystery disease.)

      Fuckin' need to get through April, man. Or even the next week.

    • Tentative Diagnosis

      3 years ago



      I say this with the understanding that I had 9 vials of blood taken and am going to get a head and neck MRI to make sure I don't have Multiple Sclerosis or something else...

      After the appointment with the neurologist today, he seems pretty certain that what I have is fibromyalgia. It's chronic pain that correlates with extreme stress/trauma during childhood/adolescence, as well as people prone to anxiety and depression. It's something in the way the brain is wired as it's growing--the neurotransmitters and pain responses get all fucked up.

      So we're doing the MRI and some looking at results and stuff next. Assuming we're on the right track here, we'll start looking at medication options. The meds won't treat fibromyalgia, but they should alleviate the symptoms to some degree.

      It is just such a damn relief to get a diagnosis, even one that isn't 100% positive yet. I got so tired and frustrated with people telling me it was just stress, or that it had to do with me being mentally ill. Now that we have a solid idea, we can move forward with strategies on how to deal.

    • #BeHappy

      3 years ago



      So, to speak to why I posted that journal earlier, I wanted to put a little somethin' somethin' together. You know those Instagram things where you post a picture based on a different theme each day for a month? Like, the day's theme might be "red" and you take a picture of a red dress you love, or something in that realm? I kinda wanted to do something inspired by this.

      In March my depression typically throws a fit, so I'm trying to be proactive in keeping it under control. (Hence the Buffy re-watch I mentioned a few journals back.) I also figured that, with the Spring Equinox coming up, it's a good time to re-dedicate myself to keeping centered. I thought I'd put together a list where I'd use a daily "theme" to keep myself focused, goal-oriented, and happy. Using some of my own ideas and some of your guys' responses, I've put together a list of themes. I'm starting this tomorrow (3/2) and doing it for 30 days.

      If you want to join me, you're more than welcome. The themes are up to interpretation. You can join for one day or all 30. You can do them out of order. You can post to social media or not. I might post some of it to Instagram or something, but I might not do that for all of them. I also might do some Rooster Teeth journals with updates, but it depends. Overall, I'm going to be focusing on doing the happy things and the rest of it will just work around that.


    • Happiness

      3 years ago



      I'm not going to say why right now, but I want you to give me words you associate with happiness. Any words/phrases. Ex:







      Aaaaand go.


    • Bitten + Rhode Island

      3 years ago



      This really cool feminist publication, PDXX Collective, has put up my article on Bitten, so if you watch the show or are just interested in complicated and nuanced female characters, maybe give that a look-see. I'm really happy 'cause I recently had another article published with The Collapsar on one of the female characters from The Originals, so I have a couple of pieces floating around out there about two of my favorite female characters.

      I also, officially, accepted Rhode Island's offer today, along with the Teaching Assistantship. And I got to talk to one of their professors (who specializes in fiction), and it was all just totally awesome. If I say much else I'll gush. But know that, on the other side of this keyboard, much gushing is happening.

      And now I'm going to sip some caffeine and try to knock some of those things off of my ever-bloated to-do list!

    • Plans

      3 years ago



      So, on March 1st, I'm going to start a Buffy re-watch. (March is always a hard month for me because my depression kicks into full gear, so I'm trying to combat that now.) I'm past the halfway point of the US Being Human on Netflix, so I can probably finish that before starting Buffy. (Sally and Nora are the bomb dot com.) I'm also keeping up on The Originals and The 100. I wish I could find a way to keep up with Bitten season 3, but since I don't have a cable subscription I can't and have to wait for it to be on Netflix, which sucks. I also started watching iZombie too late, so I gotta wait for that to be on Netflix so I can watch season 2 from its start.

      If you haven't heard yet, I got into the University of Rhode Island's English PhD program, which makes my heart happier than happy. Like, I literally grinned for the better part of 10 hours straight. I've had a bunch of good news lately, so I'm really excited about that. And hey! I finally get to see a neurologist on March 3rd, which I'm strangely ecstatic about. (If you follow me on SnapChat, you know my symptoms have gotten worse again over the past couple of weeks.)

      On the other hand, I'm drowning in work (grading for two classes, critique letters for two classes, my thesis, etc.). But so it goes, right? TJ keeps offering to help where he can, which is a life saver. I just hate having to slow down because my symptoms act up. I really only have one speed, and that's "Crazy Determined Ambition Lady."

      Right this second I'm balancing baking banana bread from scratch (after making baked flounder and my Garlic Almond Broccoli for dinner) with work (grading and critique letters) and writing a new story for class. I'm waiting on a bunch of stuff (PhD stuff, a publisher and an agent for Devils in the Valley, and whatever else), and I am the literal worst at waiting on things.

      But Buffy re-watches make all things better. :)


  • Comments (434)

  • Questions

    No questions have been answered yet