Bayka

Not Specified
from Shenzhen, China.

  • Activity

    • Sitting in Singa

      13 years ago

      Bayka

      Hello friends,

      I'm currently wired to a coffee cup, and hunched over a computer in Terminal 2, Singapore airport. I've just arrived from SZ China (I'm on my way home!) and it's 4am in the morning.

      ...and I'm bored.



      Bayka.

    • The karaoke-induced, frypan rampage.

      13 years ago

      Bayka

      I love summer in south China...
      Tropical heat...eating fresh mangoes, basking in the sun, listening to the thousands of cicadas fill the air with their raunchy arias. It's lovely.

      However, my neighbour's new karaoke system has recently tested my quiet and peaceful nature...

      It's 11.50pm, Tuesday night. I lie in bed after just coming back from some catch-up conversations online with my German friends. My entire body is relaxed, and I let out a yawn of comfort as I nestle into my cosy bed. My relaxation is momentarily disturbed by a moderately loud, muffled voice coming through a speaker. The voice stops after a couple of seconds and then...silence. I close my eyes for a brief moment, only to be roused a second time by the sound of faint music. "Wait. Am I dreaming?" I ask myself. The volume grows louder. No, I'm not dreaming. The music resonates through my concrete walls. Louder, louder. An oafish male voice blurts out an indistinct sentence through the speakers, and the singing begins.

      His voice quivers off pitch as he struggles to manage the phrasing. He can't control which register he wants to use, and his voice tightens as the melody soars. It becomes a strangled yell as he approaches the chorus. At this point, I've kicked off my sheets and am grinding my teeth. Every second I lie there, feeling the adrenaline being pumped straight through my heart, is another straw on the donkey's back.
      Another song begins. It is now 12.20pm, and I feel the need to voice my opinion. I sit up and yell some strong suggestions, but they fail to cut through the thick, mud of sound. The only reply I receive is in the form of more mud. They can't hear me. The donkey's back has now broken.

      I fly out of bed, storm to the front door and tear it open. The music is echoing loudly down the entire hallway. I turn to head towards the stairwell but stop when I discover the noise is coming from the apartment beneath me. I glare down, to see their side door carelessly left wide open! The cheek of it! I can hear my neighbours stirring in their rooms. The music continues. I feel the fury growing inside me. I head back inside, open my wardrobe and throw on the first jacket I see, slamming the door loudly afterwards. The music continues to blare. I envision myself smashing the karaoke machine into hundreds of pieces with a baseball bat. Yes! A baseball bat! I scan my room and quickly realise that I posses no such weapon. I look for the heaviest, most damage-inflicting tool I have, and find only a non-stick fry pan. It's made in Germany though, and is quite heavy.

      I head off down the hall way, clutching my mighty club of destruction, not really knowing what I'm going to do when I arrive at their apartment (too enraged to notice that the music has quietened down significantly). I fly down the stairs and march towards their door - ready to beat it with my culinary device. The haze of fury over my mind manages to dissipate, and I experience a moment of clarity. "What the hell am I doing in my underwear, wielding a fry pan?" Upon reaching their front door, I notice they have shut the door where the noise was blaring out from. However the music is still too loud to sleep, and I feel unsatisfied. I return the pan to my room, then jump in the elevator.

      On the ground floor, I walk out of the building and spot a security guard "Wei! Ni guo lai yi xia!" (Hey! Come here a minute!) I yell to him. He comes to my aid immediately and I order him " Zhe bian!" (This way!). We hop in the elevator and I explain the situation, and that I have work the next morning: "Zai liu lou, ta men you KTV. Hen chou si le! Wo ming tian you gong zuo!" He seems sympathetic and I return to my room.

      Silence has been restored, and I can sleep in peace. Whatever he said to them must have worked.

    • Food glorious food.

      13 years ago

      Bayka

      My cousin is a chef at the presigious "Raffles Hotel" in Singapore. He just sent me these photos of two dishes he's doing at the moment.

      Bayka447800bd4dade.jpg
      "Duck egg 'Son in Law' "

      Bayka447801e29b67a.jpg
      "Lemongrass Cured Ocean Trout"

    • The old man is snoring.

      13 years ago

      Bayka

      It's 12pm on Saturday, and I'm cooped up in the e-cafe, being marinated by the gentle wreaths of cigarrette smoke.
      It's raining heavily outside and I left my umbrella at work.

      What to do, what to do. Maybe I'll go and eat some chicken's feet, they're always a good snack.

    • The jumper.

      13 years ago

      Bayka

      Nobody can do no-handed back flips quite like Joe Eigo. Holy shit.

    • My mug.

      13 years ago

      Bayka

      Drawn by my very talented g/f. Worthy of some praise I might add.

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    • Neat clip.

      13 years ago

      Bayka

      This was made by a Norwegian guy. Great editing skills. Check it out.

    • The 'truth' in faith.

      13 years ago

      Bayka

      My uncle sent me this great video. Sad but true.

    • Kindergarten cop.

      13 years ago

      Bayka

      Isn't it lovely, the cursious mind of a child? Especially a Chinese one. Like when they ask you, in their sweet little Chinese accent, the English word for "tang" (soup), and "bao zi" (buns).
      However, I wasn't quite prepared when one little, chubby 4-year-old boy asked the the word for "xiao di di" (penis) though. I tried to think of an appropriate, childish word that I used at that age...and then it came to me!

      "Ummmmm, ha-ha...diddle!" I said.
      "Duddle!" He replied, giggling.
      "Yeah, diddle" I confirmed.
      "Diddle!" He rang out triumphantly.
      "Yes, good. Ha-ha, well done Jack!" I said, congratulating him.

      He then proceeded to run around the classroom screaming "Diddle! Diddle!", and pointing to his dick.

      Haha, the joys of learning aye?

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    • The northern wedding.

      13 years ago

      Bayka

      I know I haven't posted for a while, but I've been busy and lazy.
      I went up to north China for my friends wedding, and here is a bit of writing on it.


      We sail over the vast, barren, desert floor and peer down at the tiny villages nestled amongst the mountains. Shenyang airport is forty minutes away, and I'm looking forward getting off this cramped little 737. As we descend on Shenyang, the ground becomes almost invisible due to some funny haze hanging over the city. Upon touch down, we are informed that it's currently 5.C degrees outside. There's piled-up snow next to the runways and it's windy out. We meet up with Connie's husband's family, and begin the journey to an outlying city "Liaoyang". (Her husband's name is "Bo nan" by the way).

      Poor old Mr sun is trying to beam warmly through the grey blanket of winter cloud (and pollution), but succeeds only as an eerie, silver glare. We wind our way through endless fields of harvested corn and wheat, and ice, and cold mud. Images from my 6th form History class study of peasant life in Stalinist Russia are recalled when we glide through the muddy farming villages in our toasty Audi A6. Row upon infinite row of corn stumps and bare, grey trees is about the only scenery available until we reach the small cities.
      So far, there is more litter than Shenzhen and no exciting architecture. I chat to Bo nan's uncle, pronouncing all of my Chinese in the best northern accent I can. He understands me for the most part, and seems like a friendly man. He is a tall, broadly built chap (like most of the Dongbei people), and has a deep resonant voice (which becomes more booming, I later found, when spirits and wedding toasts are involved.)
      We check into our hotel, and I chat with a couple of Connie's friends (Chinese guys who studied in NZ) about what we're going to do tonight. After a huge banquet lunch, Xiao Jun and Joe (the NZ grads) drive me out to Joe's hometown. We have dinner with lots of "Snow" (the local beer) together, and then proceeded to one of Liaoyang's finest KTV/Nightclub/Hotel things (very popular in China).
      The emphasis on building decoration, certainly lies indoors. To the casual observer; grey, monotonous buildings, the odd statue and temple, would seem all this city has to offer. We enter the building and head straight to our pre-booked private room. We kick back on the gorgeous couches, and dig in to the large fruit platters and buckets of beer. I have a moderate case of laryngitis, and am almost inaudible. Therefore I can't perform my much anticipated rendition of "Love me tender". Oh dear.
      After the karaoke, the boys take me to the finest unisex spa house in Liaoyang. We glide down the spiral staircase and make our way in. We are greeted by servants who kindly take our footwear in exchange for sandals. The floor scenery has immediately changed from large, marble tiles, into elaborate mosaics. As we get undressed, our clothes are folded for us and towels presented. We are then directed to the shower and spa room. Through the ornate archway, there lie numerous Italianate mosaics, a gigantic spa formation, trickling fountains, and showers that line the walls. Painted on the ceiling above the main spa, is a very impressive "Sistine Chapel" -style fresco, of naked white people floating in clouds. I certainly don't feel like I'm in a cold gloomy city, somewhere in north China anymore!
      After a lovely, slightly drunken shower, I follow the lads to the massage room. There are row upon row of over-sized lay-z-boy chairs, all facing a small movie screen. Everything is very new and clean. We lie back, and chat while the masseuses work their magic. I feel largely relaxed and drift off to sleep.

      I wake up at about 8am. I feel fantastic. The others come to shortly after, and we head back to our hotel. We have a few hours before a banquet lunch with the two families, so I decide to take a stroll outside. Sharp, icy air clings to my exposed skin as I exit the hotel. It's about - 10.C outside and I'm feeling it. I walk up towards the shopping mall, and within one minute I feel the villus in my nostrils freezing together. It's a beautiful, clear sunny day and a steady northern (Arctic!) wind is blowing over the city. After buying a scarf and gloves at the supermarket, I briskly head back to the hotel, briefly stopping outside to check out the river which is frozen solid (about 5 feet deep!).
      At lunch, we feast on a wide and colourful array of delectable Dongbei food. Martell cognac and "Wu liang ye" - a top Chinese rice wine - are presented, and the toasts for good wishes begin. We throw back glass after glass of liquor, and everybody seems to be enjoying themselves. After stuffing ourselves full of great food and swag, we all head back to our rooms and rest.

      The first day of Spring has arrived. It's wedding time, and we all assemble in Connie's room for the proceedings. Bo nan (having slept the night at his home) comes to the hotel to pick her up. After entering, he receives "Hong bao" (symbolic red envelopes containing money) from Connie's parents, and bows to them ritualistically. Connie's mother feeds the bride&groom to be, a type of local Dongbei noodles as a pre-wedding tradition. Then we make our way downstairs to the foyer where they are photographed with the red umbrella (again, another symbolic gesture - the man protecting the woman). There is large fleet of shiny-black Audi A6's waiting outside for the family and friends. Two guests per car. The bride and groom ride in a large, decorated Mercedes Benz. The weather hasn't gotten any warmer, so we quickly board the vehicles and drive to the groom's parents' home. Hundreds of deafening fire crackers greet us as we arrive at their home. After some more bride and groom rituals, we head to the restaurant for the wedding ceremony. After the official readings and speeches (including one by me in Chinese!) we head up for a big lunch where the two families mingle and the bride and groom do the rounds lighting cigarettes and pouring drinks for the guests (another tradition).
      The whole family meet up again at ni

  • About Me

  • Comments (13)

    • ChiMan

      13 years ago

      Nice recent pics.

    • Marinealver

      13 years ago

      My favorites are Bebe and Cece Winnings along with Kirk Frankland, I have heared a few of his songs, but don't own any albums.

    • ChiMan

      13 years ago

      We did it in November.. just before the first snow.

    • ChiMan

      13 years ago

      I've hiked the canyon a few times... only once have I stayed at the bottom... I hope to change that in the next year or so.

    • Negadeth

      13 years ago

      Cool, a fellow TESOL-er, and one of my mystery watchers!
      Do you have any advice or information you think might be helpful?

      As you might have gathered from my last journal, my original plan was to move to Japan to teach English but that has now been adjusted to Finland.

    • MikeyLikesIt

      13 years ago

      'Masterful Opinion' That is funny. I am in no position to be giving any opinions... but since you asked. I like it... it has a very youthful feel to it. Does that make sense? Vintage at the same time... excellent work. I hope that answers your question, if not, just message me.

    • ChiMan

      13 years ago

      yeah... she loves teh shih-tzus

    • ChiMan

      13 years ago

      Oh, I've already been paid for this job.... Paid at time of service!

    • Bayka

      13 years ago

      Thank yee.

    • ChiMan

      13 years ago

      geonex88

    • ChiMan

      13 years ago

      Haven't been to China yet.... Plan on going one day. I may make a trip with a group of Shao-lin Kung Fu students here in the states. I studied with them for about a year andt he Grandmaster is welcomed with open arms in all the temples (even has monuments in a few). I originally got into natural healing because it's the only thing that helped me resolve a healing crisis back in 2001. Best thing I ever did.

    • irish_savage

      13 years ago

      no i was born is ireland...but i moved here before i could remember it

    • weeoo

      14 years ago

      Thank you bro! :-)

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